Buster Cannon

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Everything posted by Buster Cannon

  1. Saving your first kiss too?

    I haven't kissed anyone yet, and honestly I really like the idea of saving it for marriage. If anything else, I like the idea that my wife will get to be my first everything. Like Matt said, as long as she's not agreeing due to a fear of intimacy I'm good. To answer your question though, if that's your conviction then stick to it. If they don't love you enough to respect your standards, then they aren't for you.
  2. Giving up

    Okay, after reading the first post of the thread and then learning that you're only 16, I have one key piece of advice...Chill. Seriously, at your age, I'd recommend putting dating/relationships on the backburner. In High School, people are far more shallow, they don't know what they really want, they don't truly know themselves, they think they know everything but they don't...you have a ton of time to grow and mature as a person before jumping into one. It gets better as you get older since people tend to be less shallow as a whole, and by then have a good idea of who they are and what they want. This is a tough stage in your life, no doubt, but things will start looking up. Shoot, I'm 23, haven't been in a relationship yet, and honestly I regret absolutely nothing in regards to not dating when I was in HS/College. For me there's no point in entering into a relationship if I don't see it leading to marriage down the line, and for that to happen I need to be prepared mentally, spiritually, and financially. Anything I could have initiated at a younger age would have gone essentially nowhere, just a waste of time (mine and hers). No need to rush things, just work hard and enjoy life.
  3. Did you feel "called" to wait?

    Called? I guess I'd say that I'm called in that I'm a Christian and that's what God commands of us, but it's hard to really pinpoint anything aside from that. I will say this though, as I've gotten older I've found that WTM makes sense to me outside of a "because God said so" mentality. I grew up in church hearing the abstinence message, but never really understood the heart of it until recently (and unfortunately churches don't often explain it). As I've grown in my relationship with God, I've come to realize that sex is something sacred that connects two people together in a way so deep that I can't even fathom. The thought of doing that with someone with someone aside from my wife -- someone who I'm with for the rest of my life -- just seems unattractive to me. Why would I give that part of myself to someone who isn't in it with me for the long haul?
  4. So a few friends and I were chatting earlier, and the topic of "what deal-breakers do you have in a significant other?" came up. A few answers were thrown around, and then someone asks "would you consider kids to be a deal-breaker?". I said "yes" and got a couple of "that's harsh" responses. I respect single parents and all, but I wouldn't want to marry someone who already had kids. Honestly, past sexual partners on its own would be hard to swallow, but having kids are a completely different ballgame. You'd essentially have to come into the relationship/marriage with parenting skills already on deck. Instead of both of you learning how to become parents together, one has experience and you're sort of being tossed into the pool with the expectation that you already know how to swim. (Not my best analogy ) Plus you might have to deal with drama involving the child's birth parent, if they're still around. So, would you date/marry someone else with kids? Why or why not?
  5. Kids...deal breaker?

    Funny you should say that; I honestly feel like the fear of being perceived as selfish is one of the most difficult aspects of being a waiter. I can't speak for anyone else here, but I tend to have a pretty good idea of what I want in my future marriage. When non-negotiables like children come up, I end up feeling like I'm being selfish because I'd prefer to start my own family as opposed to a pre-made one. I shouldn't feel guilty about wanting that for myself (shoot, it's the way that God intended it), but yet I do, almost as if I'm being unreasonable in this day and age... I guess it's like you said, the 'church' can sometimes make you feel bad because the key component of Christianity is forgiveness, and it's often assumed that you can just forgive and all of the issues related to their past behavior will disappear, and if you're struggling with dealing with the other person's past it's somehow your fault and not theirs. I hate to say it but it feels a lot easier talking about topics like this here than with peers at church for this very reason.
  6. So if I move the physical part from a 4 to a 3 it jumps from 8.19 to 27... Then I thought about it for a second and said, "how are they even grading physical attractiveness in the first place?" What one person finds another attractive another may not, and there's so many variables that could go into that anyway (height, race, hair style, eye color, how they dress, etc.).
  7. 8.19 and I live in a pretty populated area. >_> I did put my clickability at like 3/4 of the way so that might have something to do with it. Values were 5 and physical/intellectual both got a 4.
  8. Glad to meetcha!

    Welcome!
  9. Words of Affirmation Quality Time Acts of Service Physical Touch Receiving Gifts Makes sense to me. I can get a single compliment and be good for the rest of the day lol. Not surprised that physical touch is where it is, I'm not really the huggy type.
  10. Personally, I don't think it would take that long to go from the dating stage to marriage, like a year and a half at the most. The reason for this is that I'd have already been friends with that person for quite a while before we even started dating in the first place. By the time we start dating we'll already be pretty familiar with each other, it'd just be a matter of making the decision to take the friendship to the next level.
  11. Same, I'd be totally cool if my wife wanted a pet around the house. At the same time, stuff like tarantulas, snakes, large rats, and other creepy crawlers are a no-no. *shudders*
  12. I've always said that so many issues in life could be prevented if everyone respected sex. I get tired of hearing so many cases of stuff like STDs, unwanted pregnancies, and other related drama showing up, all because people couldn't keep it in the pants.
  13. IF Husband had a child with another woman

    Okay, I misunderstood what you wrote and modified my post (sorry about that), but my point still stands.
  14. IF Husband had a child with another woman

    So let me get this straight: You want to find a virgin wife after sleeping around. Then, after marrying her, you want to impregnate a bunch of other women to create a number of extra children that you both have to take care of, using both of your time and resources. Dude, have you stopped to think about how selfish and outlandish all of this sounds? Do you really think that any self-respecting woman would be okay with that plan of action? Why do you need to impregnate a bunch of other woman and have extra kids when you have your wife? Adoption is one thing, but this is just...no. There's no care given to her desires or wants at all, it's all about your pleasure and what you can get from your wife and these other women. *sigh*
  15. My parents waited 3 years before they had me, and I'd like to do the same. Kids are so much of a responsibility that the dynamics of your marriage completely change until they leave the house as adults. I'd like for us to have a few years in our marriage where we can spend time getting to know one another, travel, accomplish certain goals, and do lots of other activities that would improve the overall strength of the relationship. Kids are a blessing but I can wait for a little while.
  16. Random Thoughts

    That's the worst feeling ever!
  17. Hola :)

    Welcome!
  18. That's kind of a generalization; a lot of churches (including the church I go to) preach clearly that premarital sex is a sin, but it's still up to the individual not to do it. I tend to put less blame on the churches and more on the people that don't read the Bible for themselves so that they know what the truth is. Anything the pastor says should be double-checked against the Bible to make sure that it's accurate. Also, the way our culture is now, the entire notion of "no sex before marriage" sounds completely outlandish to most people, even to those who proclaim to be Christians.
  19. Sharing a Bed

    Yeah, as far as I'm concerned, sleeping in the same bed before marriage is playing with fire. Why put yourself in a tempting situation like that in the first place?
  20. After thinking about it, I'd definitely want to stick with my convictions in a 'Walking Dead' situation. Unless I'm already married, I don't think I'd want to pursue someone else in a time where I'm always on-edge due to zombies and crazy people trying to kill me left and right. More added stress? No thanks. If I did end up finding someone that I liked enough to be in a relationship with, we'd have to do some sort of ghetto makeshift wedding where we recite vows or something. I don't know about pulling a ring off of an undead finger, but I'd do something.
  21. is masturbation a sin?

    This is more or less how I feel about it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2xkJfGnxBI That said, I believe that there's something to be said about having complete control over your desires. Even though I don't consider the act itself a sin (the lustful thoughts are), I think it's much better to abstain from it as a whole.
  22. wish I had known about y'all sooner

    Welcome! It can be a lonely road sometimes, but that's what communities like this are for.
  23. What do you do for work?

    I work as a Webmaster at a nursing association.
  24. Sexual Confidence

    If the other person is a virgin, I wouldn't care less about not knowing what I'm doing, because neither would she. We get the rest of our lives to practice so why put so much pressure on a single night? On the other hand, if she's already had some experience, I probably would worry a more than a little in terms of being compared to someone else. I don't think I'd lose position in the relationship per say, but it would bother me at first. As far as public eye goes, I really couldn't care less what people think about me waiting. That said, I doubt you'd get ostracized for waiting; the typical reaction is "I respect that, but I couldn't do it myself." I don't really expect to be outright ostracized lol. If I did it'd be their problem and not mine.