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  1. Hey guys!!!!!!!! I'm soooooooooooooo excited to share this with you! Soooo! The week-end of 26th to 28th of May, was the conference of Set Apart Girls, the ministry from Leslie Ludy. I greatly admire this woman and also her husband. They are indeed a great blessing to me. You can check out the website of Leslie Ludy here : There are free podcasts, free articles and devotionals to help you grow in your faith as a woman. For the men, Eric Ludy has this : So....Thank God, because, this past week-end, I have been able to go to United States, Colorado, for the first time of my life....!!!! Everything was awesome!!!! Even if it was a short period of time, I met plenty of high quality people, who are passionate about Jesus, who want to honor Him with their lives...I learned plenty of meaningful things... They have a ministry of discipleship online and also physical in Colorado(such a beautiful place between !): They have 3 natural children and also 3 adopted children. From the ministry compassion : For me it was a miracle and a great honor to meet Leslie Ludy in person, she is one of the sweetest person I've ever met. And Eric Ludy, is one of the funniest and very inspiring godly men that I've ever met. Below pictures of me with them !!!!! So excited about that !!!
  2. Heheh @poisson Glad that you love it too...So we can sing together : "My God is awesome! Awesome...."...
  3. Original article written by David Cooke HAVE YOU MADE A COVENANT WITH YOUR EYES? DO NOT COMPROMISE WITH SEXUAL LUST, SEXUAL SIN AND PORNOGRAPHY. PROTECT YOUR MIND. Job 31:1'I made a covenant with mine eyes, why then should I look upon a maid?' Protect your marriage. Protect your future marriage if you are single. Protect above all things your relationship with a holy and loving God!! Lust blinds you to the reality of the holiness of God. When your mind is full of sexual lust it pushes out the thought of a holy God. We live in a X-rated world full of lustful indecent images, porn and immodesty and we must be determined to maintain a pure mind. The battle rages and is fierce and like righteous Job who feared God and hated evil we must also make a commitment not to 'look with lust' at other women.This also applies to woman lusting after men. Matt 5:28'That whosoever looks on a women to lust after her hath committed adultery with her in his heart.'Once again this can apply to women also lusting after men. STUDY BIBLE NOTE-"What Christ condemns is not the sudden thought that Satan may place in a person's mind or an improper desire that arises suddenly. Rather it is a wrong thought or desire that is accompanied by the approval of one's will. It is having an immoral desire that would seek fulfillment if the opportunity arose.The inner desire for illicit sexual pleasure if contemplated and not resisted, is sin.(Speaking about sexual fantasies.We should have this scripture taped on our computers) The Christian must be very careful to abstain taking pleasure in scenes of immorality or nudity such as shown in movies, music, videos,TV, books, magazines and on some Internet sites! In the area of maintaining sexual purity, the woman as well as the man has a responsibility. The Christian woman must be careful not to dress in a way that attracts attention to her body, thereby creating temptation for men and encourage lust. Dressing immodestly or sensually is associated with lust and therefore should be avoided." (This applies to both men and women) Very shocking how many who say they love Jesus will go to movies that are full of filth and sexual immorality and watch very disgusting sitcoms and T.V. shows. This will infect your mind with lust and it is wrong to do this. It will greatly affect your conscience and make it dull and calloused. God demands holiness is this area also. What we allow in our minds can greatly affect our minds. Fill your mind with the Word of God. 1.Clothes are to modestly cover the body not expose it. Cover and conceal not lure and reveal. Modesty matters to God and to men. Set a godly example please and do not be a sexual tease. Holiness applies also with how we dress as Christians. 2.Being a Christian in a culture that constantly bombards us with sexual messages does not mean we are destined to give into sexual temptation. It means that it is easy for us to adopt attitudes and thought patterns that could lead to immoral, ungodly choices if we are not careful. Therefore we must not compromise. We must be very diligent to resist the devil and to say 'no' to ungodly lusts. 3.Failure in the area of purity has devastating consequences, not only in personal lives but the lives of families and also the church as a whole. An unholy church will never win an unholy world to Christ. Immorality is rampant in the church. A flood of filth is tolerated and rarely a word spoken against it. 4.We must fight hard to maintain a lifestyle of purity. Love for God is a great motivation for honoring His standards for a holy, pure life. We cannot afford to be passive when it comes to living holy and pure lives. SCRIPTURES TO STUDY ! -Romans 6:12 'Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof.' -Romans 13:14 'But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ ,and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof.' -2nd Corinthians 7:1'Having therefore these promises ,dearly beloved ,let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit,perfecting holiness in the fear of God.' -1st Thessalonians 4:7' For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness.' -2nd Timothy 2:22 'Flee youthful lusts: but follow righteousness ,faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.' -Titus 2:12'Teaching us that denying ungodliness and worldly lusts ,we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world.' -1st Peter 2:11' Dearly beloved ,I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul.' This is a very serious issue and when we fail we must run to the Cross and repent and seek forgiveness. And we must make every effort to forsake unrighteous thoughts and to make clear decisions of what we put before our eyes and to protect our eyes at all costs. 1st Thessalonians 4:1-8 please read this passage.God's will is holiness and that we must abstain from sexual immorality ! It says if we despise this teaching we are despising the Holy Spirit. God's standards for purity are high and we can obey Him by His grace and the power of the Holy Spirit. Brother David Cooke (Share post as the Lord leads you)
  4. How do you know if he/she is the one?

    @ellegabrielleThank you so very much dear Gabi for this very edifying and inspirational video! Thank you also for your testimony... very helpful indeed... blessing for you lovely
  5. Are you dating an abuser ?

    Original article : Emotional abuse, verbal abuse, and domestic violence are on the rise, especially among young people. The risk of falling into an abusive relationship is greater than ever. There are obvious red flags to avoid in a prospective lover, such as angry, controlling, possessive, jealous, or violent behavior. Unfortunately, most abusers are able to mask these tendencies in dating. By the time many people notice the obvious red flags, they're already attached to an abuser, which makes it much harder for them to leave the relationship. More useful than a list of obvious red flags are guidelines based on very early warning signs of a potentially abusive relationship, signs that are visible before an attachment bond is formed. The following is a list of qualities to look for in a potential lover. Avoid them at all costs. Note: During the early stages of your relationship, your partner is not likely to do any of these things to you. But witnessing these attitudes and behaviors toward others is a sure sign that they will turn onto you, sooner or later. Very Early Warning Sign #1: A Blamer Avoid anyone who blames his negative feelings and bad luck on someone else. Special care is necessary here, as blamers can be really seductive in dating. Their blame of others can make you look great by comparison: "You're so smart, sensitive, caring, and loving, not like that bitch I used to go out with." "Why couldn't I have met you before that self-centered, greedy, woman I used to date?" "You're so calm and together, and she was so crazy and paranoid." Hearing this kind of thing might make you think that all he really needs is the understanding and love of a good woman to change his luck. This disastrous assumption flies in the face of the Law of Blame. The Law of Blame: It eventually goes to the closest person. When you become the closest person to him, the blame will certainly turn on you. Blamers can be dangerous to love because they usually suffer from victim identity. Feeling like victims, they see themselves as justified in whatever retaliation they enact and whatever compensation they take. Blamers will certainly cause pain for you if you come to love one. Very Early Warning Sign #2: Resentment Resentment is a negative mood caused by focus on perceptions of unfairness. Resentful people feel like they are not getting the help, consideration, praise, reward, or affection they believe is due them. Everyone has to put up with a certain amount of unfairness in life. We don't like it, but we deal with it and move on; we try to improve our situations and our experiences. The resentful waste their emotional energy by dwelling on the unfairness of others (while remaining oblivious to their own unfairness). They think (mistakenly) that they don't know how to improve their lives. They use resentment as a defense against a sense of failure or inadequacy. Resentful people are so caught up in their "rights" and so locked into their own perspectives that they become completely insensitive to the rights and perspectives of others. If you fall in love with a resentful person, you will eventually become the brunt of that resentment and almost certainly feel shut out and diminished in the relationship. Very Early Warning Sign #3: Entitlement People with a sense of entitlement believe that they deserve special consideration and special treatment. They may cut in front of others waiting in line, smoke wherever they want, drive any way they want, say anything they like, and do pretty much anything they choose. Driven by high standards of what they should get and what other people should do for them, the entitled feel chronically disappointed and offended. So it seems only fair, from their myopic perspectives, that they get compensation for their constant frustrations. Special consideration seems like so little to ask! Here's the logic: "It's so hard being me, I shouldn't have to wait in line, too!" "With all I have to put up with, I deserve to take a few supplies from the office." article continues after advertisement "With the kind of day I had, you expect me to mow the lawn?" "All the taxes I pay, and they bother me about this little deduction!" "The way I hit the golf ball, I should get the best seat in the restaurant!" "I'm the man; you have to cook my dinner!" After the glow of infatuation wears off, the entitled person will regard his feelings and desire as more important than yours. If you agree, you'll get depressed. If you disagree, you'll get abused. Very Early Warning Sign #4 Superiority Superiority is the implication, at least through body language or tone of voice, that someone is better than someone else. Potential abusers tend to have hierarchical self-esteem, i.e., they need to feel better than someone else to feel okay about themselves. They need to point out ways in which they are smarter, more sensitive, or more talented than others. This, too, can be seductive in dating, as he will point out ways in which you are superior, too. The most abusive form of hierarchical self-esteem is predatory self-esteem. To feel good about themselves, persons with predatory self-esteem need to make other people feel bad about themselves. Many will test high in self-esteem when they come for court-ordered treatment, while everyone else in their family tests low. But once intervention increases the self-esteem of the emotionally beaten-down spouse and children who then no longer internalize the put-downs, the predator's self-esteem invariably declines. A variation on this very early warning sign is self-righteousness. If you dare to disagree with him, you will not only be wrong but immoral! article continues after advertisement Very Early Warning Sign #5: Pettiness If he makes a big deal out of nothing or focuses on one small, negative aspect of an issue, a relationship with him will be disastrous. This might show itself as being extremely particular about how his food is prepared in a restaurant or seeming impatient if someone drops something. In a love relationship, his petty attitudes and behavior will make you feel reduced to some small mistake, as if nothing you have ever done right in your life matters. You will feel criticized and diminished for the smallest of infractions, real or imagined. Very Early Warning Sign #6: Sarcasm Sarcasm comes in many forms. Sometimes it's just poorly-timed humor - saying the wrong thing in the wrong context. Sometimes it's innocently insensitive, with no intention to hurt or offend. More often it is hostile and meant to devalue. The purpose is to undermine a perspective the sarcastic person doesn't agree with or to shake someone's confidence, just for a temporary ego gain or some strategic advantage in a negotiation. Sarcastic people tend to be heavy into impression management, always trying to sound smart or witty. Their tone always has at least a subtle put-down in it. In dating this will be directed at others. In a relationship, it will center on you. Very Early Warning Sign #7: Deceit (intentional and unintentional) Unintentional deceit happens all the time in dating, due to what I call the "dating self." We all try to put on the best face possible in dating. Most of us will exaggerate our good qualities at least a little, if we think the other person will like us more if we were just a bit more like that. "Oh, you're religious? Well I've been feeling a bit more spiritual lately, so I'm going right home and read the Bible, or at least watch the movie version." article continues after advertisement This kind of unintentional exaggeration is meant less to deceive than to motivate the self. The exaggerator really wants to develop qualities you like; he's just not quite there, yet. Of course, the dating self often includes blatant deception, as in, "Oh, did I tell you that I went to Harvard?" or, "Yes, I know some rich and famous people." Deceit shows a low level of self-respect -- and respect for you -- that can only bode ill in a relationship. Very Early Warning Sign #8: Minor Jealousy Minor jealousy does not come off like the obvious red flag of controlling and possessive behavior. It looks more like this: He's slightly uncomfortable when you talk to or even look at another man. He might not say anything, but he looks uncomfortable. The tough thing about minor jealousy in dating is that you actually want a tiny bit of it to know that they other person cares. (You certainly don't want to love someone who wouldn't mind at all if you slept with the entire football team.) But a little bit of jealousy goes a long, long way. Think of it as a drop of powerfully concentrated liquid in a huge bucket of water. More than a tiny drop will poison any relationship you might develop with the jealous person and, more important, put you in harm's way. Even minor jealousy has the potential to be harmful. Jealousy becomes dangerous once it turns into obsession. The more we obsess about something, the more imagination takes over, distorting reality and rational thinking. Jealousy is the only naturally occurring emotion that can cause psychosis, which is the inability to tell what is really happening from what is in your head. Most severe violence in relationships involves some form of jealousy. Very Early Warning Sign #9: Rusher I have had clients complain that their boyfriends don't pursue them or try to sweep them off their feet. I always tell them, "How lucky you are!" Guys who go "too fast" (defined as whatever makes you uncomfortable), do not respect boundaries. One definition of "abuse" is "that which violates personal boundaries." It is not flattering that someone wants you so much that he does not care about whether you are comfortable. Make sure that any man you become interested in shows respect for your comfort-level, in all senses of the word. Trust in Yourself While a certain caution in dating is a good thing, you want to be sure that your caution is proactive, rather than reactive; you want it based on trusting your instincts, rather than distrusting love. Trust in yourself stems from your deepest values. As long as you stay attuned to the most important things to and about you, you will naturally gravitate toward those who truly value you as a person. But even if you are firmly grounded in your values, it's possible to be fooled by hidden resentment, anger, or abusive tendencies in the people you date. That's because it's easy for those prone to such tendencies to put on a false dating face. Because they have a more "fluid" sense of self than most people, it's easier for them to pour it into any container they think you might like. But they can't and won't stay in a nice container once you establish a relationship. Then their resentment, anger, or abuse will emerge in full force. Multiple-Victimization Research shows that if a woman has been mistreated in the past, even in childhood, there's a good chance that she'll be mistreated in her next relationship as well. It's called, "multiple-victimization," and it is often misunderstood. I have heard far too many women clients say things like, "I could walk into a room full of doctors and therapists and fall in love with the one criminal." Or they ask with sad and bewildered eyes, "Why do I only attract resentful, angry, and abusive partners?" They wonder if they put out signals that say, "Please abuse me!" This particular misconception has even infected a few professionals who have ridiculously theorized that some women "want to be abused." If you've experienced multiple-victimization, please understand this: The problem is not that you attract only resentful, angry, or abusive suitors; it's that, by and large, you have not been receptive to the gentler, more respectful men you also attract. This is not due to your temperament or personality; it's a normal defensive reaction. After you've been hurt, of course you'll put up subtle barriers for self-protection. Non-abusive men will recognize and respect those barriers. For example, suppose that you work with someone who's attracted to you. But he senses that you're uncomfortable with his small gestures for more closeness. He will naturally back off and give you time to heal, or he'll settle for a non-romantic friendship. But a man who is likely to mistreat you will either not recognize your barriers or completely disregard them. He will continue to hit on you, until he breaks down the protective walls that surround your hungry heart. The following "intimacy test" can help you become more sensitive and trusting to the non-verbal signals about attachment that ultimately rise from your core value. Intimacy Test Can you disclose anything about yourself, including your deepest thoughts and feelings, without fear of rejection or misunderstanding? ________ Is the message of your relationship, "grow, expand, create, disclose, reveal?" Or is it, "hide, conceal, think only in certain ways, behave only in certain ways, feel only certain things?" Grow___ Hide ___ Does this relationship offer both parties optimal growth? ___ Can you both develop into the greatest persons you can be? ___ Does your partner fully accept that you have thoughts, beliefs, preferences, and feelings that differ from his? ___ Does he respect those differences? ___ Does he cherish you despite them? ___ Does he accept your differences without trying to change you? ___ Do you want to accept that your partner has thoughts, beliefs, preferences, and feelings that differ from yours? ___ Can you respect those differences? ___ Can you cherish your partner despite them? ___ Can you accept them without trying to change them? ___ A greater sense of your core values will give you more confidence that you can detect the very early warning signs of abuse. Listen compassionately to the faint messages of your hungry heart. Then it won't need to make the kind of desperate outcries that suspend your best judgment, scare off appropriate matches, and attract resentful, angry, or abusive partners.
  6. What Speaks Respect to Guys?

    Original article : Men need respect in romantic relationships like women need love. Most men would rather feel respected and alone/unloved – than feel loved and disrespected. Did you know that!??!?! (Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs) I know that seems so bizarre to our feminine ears. But if we want to understand men – if we want to be able to have strong relationships with them – in any setting – we must understand their masculine world of respect. Whether you are dealing with your dad, your brother, your boss, your male co-worker, a male customer, a teen-age boy or your boyfriend – MEN OPERATE IN THE REALM OF RESPECT. There are all these unwritten expectations, rules and codes of conduct in a man’s world. Most women aren’t aware of this world at all anymore. Our culture has erased it from our collective memory. But men haven’t forgotten. This is how God made them – to need respect. So it is DEFINITELY worth our time and effort to learn to speak this new language. WHY RESPECT? God designed marriage to represent Christ and His intimate relationship, His One Spirit relationship with the church. (Ephesians 5:22-33) The husband is supposed to portray the love, selflessness, sacrifice, and godly leadership of Christ. The wife is supposed to portray the respect, reverence, adoration, joyful cooperation, submission and gratitude of the church. God’s greatest purpose in marriage is to display this profound mystery. Men are hardwired to respond to respect. That is why the “admiring secretary” often ends up with her boss – even if he’s married, unfortunately. Men go where they feel respected, admired, valuable, powerful and like they are seen as “winners.” And men do NOT like to be where they feel like failures – where they are criticized, condemned, ridiculed, ordered around, made fun of, scolded, yelled at, mocked, and made to feel incompetent. LADIES – THIS PIECE OF INFORMATION IS EXTREMELY VALUABLE IN YOUR ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS! IF YOU CAN TRULY GRASP WHAT I JUST TOLD YOU – YOU WILL UNDERSTAND MEN AT THEIR CORE! And you will know what they want, what motivates them, why they behave the way they do, how to inspire them, how to turn them on and how to turn them off. You’re very welcome. WHAT IF HE SINS AGAINST ME? I CAN’T RESPECT SIN! God never calls us to respect sin. But we can find things that we can respect. And we can act respectfully. A man, or anyone else, can’t MAKE me sin against him. He can’t MAKE me disrespect him! If I react with disrespect – it is because that is what is in my heart! The time I am most tempted to sin is when I am sinned against (Gary Thomas – Sacred Influence). If my sin nature is in control – I will respond to sin against me with hatred, contempt, bitterness, unforgiveness, rage, screaming, name-calling, gossip and I will try to hurt the other person and tear them apart. It has nothing to do with the other person – and everything to do with me. If I have God’s Spirit in control of my soul – I will respond even to sin with the fruit of His Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control. My disrespect reveals my carnal heart. It reveals how much I trust, respect and submit myself to Christ. It is a very accurate indicator of the level of my spiritual maturity in Christ. Even if a man sins against you – if you can respond without sinning in return, and respectfully, gently address his sin and offer grace – you are so much more likely for him to repent and become a better man than if you flip out, scream, yell, throw things, make threats, cuss him out, call him names, tell everyone on FB what a jerk he is, talk about him to everyone you both know… Reacting with disrespect – even if he sinned against you – can put the nail in the coffin of the relationship. You be the more mature one. You respond in the power of God and treat Him in a way that honors Christ EVEN WHEN he sins against you. That doesn’t mean you ignore his sin. You may have to confront him – but do it carefully, humbly, respectfully and make sure you take care of the log in your own eye before you talk about your man’s sin. That way – you aren’t causing even more catastrophic damage by adding more sin of your own on top of his sin. Jesus commands us to repay evil with good and cursing with blessing. We are to respond to the sin of others in a godly way – with kindness, prayer, gentleness, love and respect! WHAT DOES RESPECT LOOK LIKE TO MEN? This list will vary somewhat from individual to individual. Gentlemen, you are welcome to comment! But here are some general ideas to get you started of how to show respect for your man (THIS is how he feels most loved and attracted to you): tell him things you admire about him sometimes (just a sentence or two several times a week maybe – men don’t like tons of words usually like we do) praise him when you like what he does or the way he does something look at him with genuine adoration and faith in your eyes – that is intoxicating to him! accept him as he is, don’t try to change him let him make his own decisions – don’t try to FORCE him into what you want ask him politely for what you want, with a pleasant tone of voice and a smile – and graciously accept whatever his answer is. You don’t control him. be responsible for your own emotional well-being and find your joy in Christ primarily. Don’t make an idol out of your man, or the idea of a relationship, romance or marriage. listen to him and be interested in what he has to say, stop what you are doing and really pay attention don’t interrupt him speak well of him to everyone – in front of him AND behind his back dress femininely and modestly – it speaks volumes about your respect for God, your appreciation of your own gift of femininity, your respect for yourself, your respect for your sexuality/purity and your respect for men and their visual temptations. speak well of his family to everyone give him grace to be human don’t expect your relationship to be like a Hollywood movie – have realistic expectations, understand that he is a man, and appreciate that it is good that he is a man and not a woman. tell him how handsome he is tell him how proud you are of him don’t try to figure out his problems for him – express your faith in him that you know HE will be able to figure them out and do a great job don’t rush the relationship, don’t try to force him beyond what he is emotionally ready to commit to appreciate that his time table on some things may be slower than yours – not wrong – but different realize that he has wisdom to offer you and a new masculine perspective that just might make your world a better place take his advice sometimes accept his spiritual leadership style and don’t try to force him to lead the way you want him to appreciate anything he gives to you or does for you – be grateful, smile and show him that you don’t take him for granted smile a lot – genuinely enjoy him stay in the moment, don’t rush ahead to the future and try to have everything all planned out – trust God to take care of that stuff don’t criticize his prayers or his relationship with God
  7. Original article : This blog will be most relatable for wives who tend to be strong willed/in charge whose husbands are passive. If your husband is controlling or you are more passive – many things I talk about will still apply (God’s Word always applies)- but you may have to approach some of the practical issues from a different angle. This blog may not be as helpful for you. It is possible to be TOO respectful/TOO submissive. If your husband is actually extremely controlling or abusive, some wives seem to over correct in a dangerous way in the wrong direction when they read about respect. Please seek godly help ASAP and be sure you are safe! I only write for wives – I don’t write for husbands. A husband cannot force his wife to respect him and submit to him. She must do this willingly and voluntarily out of her love and respect and obedience to Christ. (Here is a balanced view of husbands and wives responsibilities.) Just like wives need primarily need love, husbands primarily need respect. (Although husbands and wives both need to give and receive love and respect in a healthy marriage.) God’s design for marriage is laid out here in Ephesians 5, and His purpose goes WAY beyond the scope of the health of our individual marriages – although if we follow His design, we will have much healthier marriages. God’s highest purpose in marriage is to showcase the intimate relationship between Christ and His people. We are acting out a living parable where husbands represent Christ and wives represent the church to bring glory to God and to help our children and others around us grasp what God is like in a more concrete way. Ephesians 5:22-33 = God’s design for marriage DISRESPECT When a man feels disrespected, he feels unloved! Every man has his own list of what feels disrespectful and respectful to him. Some things are almost universally one way or the other to almost all men (and to other people, too). Some things are particular to your husband. So – what matters most is what is respectful and disrespectful to YOUR man. That’s why it is important to ask him about his preferences and what bothers him and what speaks respect to him. When things are not tense – you could ask him about some of the things on this list and get his take on the different items (if he is open to this idea). You’ll need to custom-tailor your respect to your husband! Ultimately, we are really seeking to please Christ, not our husbands. He is our final Judge and Audience. Ladies – we have so much power to destroy our husbands or to build them up. How I pray God will convict us and open our eyes and that we might learn to be respectful, cooperative wives who value our husbands’ leadership and who honor Christ with every thought, attitude, word and action! SUMMARY OF WHAT IS DISRESPECTFUL TO MEN (FOR MORE DETAIL, PLEASE READ BELOW). Keep in mind that even barely hinting at these things can often feel VERY disrespectful to men : implying he is not intelligent/capable/competent implying he is not enough for you sexually implying he is not providing enough for you financially implying that you are superior to him morally/spiritually displaying contempt for who he is as a man – not accepting him as he is (I am not saying you must respect sin, but that you respect him as a person and as your husband) telling him what to do/bossing him taking control of the marriage/family and not allowing him to fulfill his God-given leadership position making fun of him, putting him down, criticizing him, belittling him especially to others body language that communicates contempt/hatred/judgment implying that you respect another man more than you respect him implying he is not a good father undermining his authority as a father Some husbands, like mine, feel stressed if their wives try “too hard” to be good wives and would really just like their wives to relax and enjoy life more. For more about husbands for whom “less is more” when it comes to respect, please read here. A wife shares what she has learned about what makes her husband feel respected here. The only way we can be godly wives is to be filled with God’s Spirit and to allow Him to radically transform us to be more and more like Christ. The Answer to All of Your Marriage Problems! Do You have to Lose Yourself or Be Fake to Be a Godly Wife? Godly Femininity —————————————————————————————————————————– Here are some things that feel disrespectful to many husbands – thanks to the husbands who contributed to this list (Each man has his own list – what matters most is what your husband thinks and allowing God to transform you to be the wife He desires you to be): asking him to do something, then doing it myself before he has a chance body language – especially frowning while you talk lack of attention/appreciation too much help a critical spirit toward him interruptions not really listening asking “Why…?” when paired with “Why would you do it like that?” and rolling the eyes.. or “Why would you go that way when it’s easier to go this way?” Asking a question starting with WHY is automatically saying, “What you did is wrong and it should be done like this! How can you not see that?” always putting herself first and having the family fit into her plans/schedule second guessing/lack of confidence being too busy to spend time with him complaining speaking negatively of him to others or in front of others answering for him telling him what to do undermining his authority as a father – telling the children they don’t have to do what he asked them to do disagreeing with his parenting in front of the children insinuating – even slightly – that he doesn’t make enough money not accepting his answer – continuing to question him withholding sex from him out of spite or manipulation cussing/yelling/name calling Arguing Lack of acknowledgement of hard work/providing for the family Speaking poorly about me, even in a “joking” way to others Correcting me when I am telling stories Making light of something that I think is important “The look” Refusing, avoiding, or qualifying your apology when the husband calls you on any of these disrespectful behaviors. It doesn’t take very many times of hearing “I’m sorry I said that in front of the kids, but you [reiteration of the original complaint/criticism and/or addition of another].” Keeping “your” finances separate from the “family’s” finances. Blaming your husband for economic circumstances beyond his control Giving him your input (which he solicited) for an important decision — choice of a church, choice of a house, etc. — and then rejecting all the choices he comes up with, even if they meet all your stated criteria and nothing else does If marriage counseling is necessary, communicating (or simply believing, which will be communicated one way or another) that he is the problem Live in fear because you can’t trust God to take care of you through your husband or, if necessary, in spite of your husband Attach catastrophic significance to every personal and parenting choice out of fear Generally treat sex with him as a chore or an imposition Joking with another woman at my expense in front of me Making me feel that I’m less of man because I don’t look as attractive as I did years ago Making comments about my lack of ability to remember Doubting what I say until it’s affirmed by someone else Thinking that I’m not smart enough to know when she’s lying to me Treating me like I’m a child, and can’t take care of myself Taking credit for things I did Changing the channel when I’m watching something Ordering me around like I’m her personal assistant
  8. Awwwwwwwwwww !!!!!!!!!!! Awesome!!! Congratulations !
  9. Thank you so very much for having shared this ! Really funny, deep, encouraging and true, all this at the same time. I really enjoyed it ! Thank you "Always encouraging to see famous people practicing and talking about it too " So true !
  10. Very inspiring movies

    The movie freshman father based on true events ... Really awesome and inspiring true story : I do admire this man. Here is the summary of the real life of the main character John Wand: The traile rof the movie is below:
  11. Original article : (I am always assuming that you and the guy you are dating/courting are both fully committed to Christ as Lord of everything in your lives. There should be fruit from God’s Spirit in both of your lives (Galatians 5:22-23). There should be nothing that either of you are putting above Christ in your hearts. You should be able to respect and honor this man as he is right now without wanting to change him. He should treat you with the love of God and you should treat him with the love of God (I Corinthians 13:4-8). Just because a person goes to church once a week and says s/he is a Christian does not mean that person belongs to Christ. Please do not date a guy who is not living for Jesus. That is a recipe for disaster and to marry an unbeliever is disobedience to the clear will and commands of God for us as believers in Christ.) Maybe you are on board with God’s design for you to be your future husband’s helper and to honor and respect your future husband and his God-given leadership. But what do you do if the man you desire to marry doesn’t seem to have any dreams for his life, big goals for the family, a spiritual vision, specific plans for a ministry, or a clear calling from God? How do you help support a man’s vision and purpose in life when he can’t seem to see it himself? How do you follow a man who is not willing to sit down and explain his long-term vision and plan or who doesn’t even have a long-term vision and plan? Won’t you end up just doing nothing and going nowhere and wasting your whole life? Wouldn’t that be the worst thing EVER?!?!?! That was my fear 6 years ago. I thought God couldn’t lead me through Greg before God started me on this journey. Boy, was I wrong! The problem, it turns out, wasn’t that God couldn’t lead me through Greg, it was that I hadn’t been willing to follow God before and I had been too impatient to wait on God and Greg. I kept wanting to run way ahead and do things my way. I am going to share the most amazing thing with you, my precious sisters: It is ok if your guy doesn’t know where God is leading him. The most important thing is that both of you want to follow wherever God leads. God knows how to lead your husband-to-be and God knows how to lead you. God has the plan all figured out. It’s fine if the guy you are interested in can’t articulate a spiritual blueprint for the rest of his life. He doesn’t have to write out a five year spiritual goal sheet. He doesn’t have to be the most godly leader on the planet right now (in your estimation) in order to for God to use him to lead you and your future family. Not a big deal. God knows how to use even pagan kings and entire nations to do His bidding, whether they know they are cooperating with Him or not. This is the awesome thing about having our sovereign, omnipotent, omniscient God as our Lord and Master. Sometimes, it is easy to feel like we need to be able to see the whole plan way ahead of time in order for us to get on board. But – God doesn’t usually work that way. Sure, sometimes He does. Sometimes He impresses His calling and a specific ministry or vocation on a person when that person is young and they focus on that mission for the rest of their lives. Other times, things are not neatly mapped out years in advance. Actually – most of the time – He leads in more of a day by day kind of way, giving enough light for just the next step. That can be hard to swallow for those of us who like to control and plan things! But maybe that is the whole point. We must learn to walk by faith instead of by a firm plan that we think is set in stone months and years ahead of time. Ladies, It is wonderful for a man to have a calling and vision that he believes is God’s purpose in his life – for his career, his spiritual growth, his marriage, his family, and his ministry. But – as you will soon discover if you don’t already know, our human plans can change in an instant. We don’t always have much control over our circumstances, our job security, the economy, a recession, our health, the ability to land another job… This is why I would love for women to focus more on a potential husband’s desire to obey God and listen and follow Him wherever He may lead rather than focusing totally on a husband’s plans or lack of plans. I hope that makes sense! God is the only one who can really plan anything and cause it to come to fruition. “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.” Psalm 127:1 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them. James 4: 13-17 Thursday, I’m going to share a bit of my story as it relates to this post. NOTE: If your guy is involved in serious, unrepentant sin, is not in his right frame of mind (due to uncontrolled mental illness, drugs, or alcohol), or is actually abusing you and you are not safe – please seek godly, experienced, biblical counsel and appropriate medical, police, or legal help if necessary. Please don’t follow a man in such situations. If this is your scenario right now, or if you are having these kinds of issues yourself, please don’t read my blog but seek appropriate help. (i.e.: the Salvation Army, Celebrate Recovery, Narcotics Anonymous, Al-Anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, a trusted pastor, a trusted godly wife mentor, a trusted Christian counselor, etc…)
  12. Dealing With the Heartache of a Breakup

    You're welcome lovely Gabi I'm very glad you have been blessed by it, God bless you too sweetie
  13. Original article : When you are choosing a guy to date/court/marry, be SURE you are choosing someone who has godly leadership qualities. God designed husbands to be the leaders in marriage. That does not mean that a wife is not as valuable as a husband in God’s sight. Men and women are of equal value to God (Galatians 3:28). But God designed marriage to be a living picture of the relationship between Christ and His church – the husband represents Christ and the wife represents the church. “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Ephesians 5:22-24 BIBLICAL SUBMISSION Many women get REALLY upset about the word “submit” today. Feminism has taught all of us that women are to be “equal to” or “better than” men. It is wonderful that we can have so many opportunities to work and to be paid equally for an equal job now. But in marriage, even though husbands and wives are of equal value, God designed each with specific strengths and weaknesses and with specific roles to fill that complement one another. A wife who is constantly struggling for control in marriage will find that she either ends up with a VERY angry, disrespected-feeling husband or a VERY angry passive husband who unplugs from the relationship and leaves her to handle everything on her own. Neither of these situations give a woman the intimacy she yearns for, and neither of these scenarios provides a stable, nurturing, godly environment for children to be reared. God designed marriage. He designed masculinity and femininity for His purposes. We will find the best, most fulfilled, most peaceful, joyful life when we embrace His ways! Yes, this stuff is very counterculture and NOT politically correct. But the needs God gave to men and women haven’t changed just because feminism came on the scene. Just look at what the ideas and goals of feminism have done to marriages and families in our society over the past few decades – there is nothing but destruction in its’ wake! We must decide to look for God’s design and to get rid of our cultural way of thinking if we are going to find what godly femininity, godly masculinity and godly marriage are made of! The word “submit” means “to rank under” – it is a military term. Whenever God gives us an authority over us: government, teachers, parents, husbands -He does it for our protection, for our good, to provide for us and to lead us through that authority. Some people in authority do misuse their power – and they are responsible to God for their abuse of others! But the concept of authority is life-giving and protective! It actually brings us great freedom and joy! This is not about who is “better” it is about the positions God assigned us as leader and helper in marriage. Both partners need to bring ALL of their intelligence, skills, abilities, passion, and personhood to marriage to give to each other, to become one, to have unity! I love describing submission as being a way to “empower” my husband’s leadership. I throw all my weight behind my husband’s decisions, wisdom and his sense of what he believes God wants him to do. I tell him my desires, my feelings, my dreams and goals. BUT, I then leave them in his hands and depend on God to guide my husband rightly into what is best for me. MY STORY: I used to try to be in charge of my marriage. I had no concept of being a follower. I was very dominant and my husband was passive. THIS DOESN’T WORK! A dominant, controlling, bossy, critical, argumentative wife does NOT bring glory to God! She also repels her man. A man needs to be in charge. He is made that way. And a woman does NOT need to be in charge of the marriage – it is too stressful, overwhelming, anxiety-producing for a wife to try to carry that weight- she was not made to shoulder that responsibility. When the husband leads, and the wife joyfully follows him, there is romance, adventure, excitement, and for the wife, there is peace and joy! And when we follow God’s design for marriage, our marriages properly reveal the mystery of Christ and the church and bring people to Christ! So we place ourselves UNDER the protection of our husbands, under their leadership, their wisdom and their perspective. Ultimately, this is not about whether I trust my particular husband in a certain situation – it is ultimately about my trust in God to lead me through my husband. Do I believe God is big enough to do that???? I actually did NOT believe that for many years in my marriage, and we both suffered the consequences of my lack of faith in God and my lack of faith in my husband. We didn’t have the emotional and spiritual intimacy I had always wanted. I was anxious, fearful, and very lonely in my marriage. My husband was unplugged, passive and quiet. When I discovered what it meant to really show respect to my husband and to step down and wait on him to lead, our marriage roared to life! Now I feel peaceful, joyful, adored, cherished, beautiful, desired, protected and well-cared for and my husband feels respected, strong, admired, and energized to lead our family in a godly way that he couldn’t do before. WHAT IS A GODLY LEADER? Study what the Bible says about godly leadership, and look for guys like THAT to fall in love with! Christlikeness is VERY attractive in a man! That is what all women want from their husbands once they are married. The overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkeness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap. Deacons, likewise, are to be men worthy of respect, sincere, not indulging in much wine, and not pursuing dishonest gain. They must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience. They must first be tested, and then if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons. I Timothy 3:1-10 These are the qualities to look for in a potential boyfriend or husband! Your parents may also be able to help you test the character of potential suitors. Dads are especially valuable here – to interview the young men you are interested in and who are interested in you – to ask them deep and probing questions about their faith, their understanding of the Bible, their motivations, their aspirations and goals. Your parents can help guard and protect you from a guy who might seem great but has some deep character or spiritual flaws that might wound you terribly in a future marriage. Choose guys who are committed to abstaining from lust – whether it is pornography, or looking at girls who are walking by and entertaining lustful thoughts. Choose guys who are committed to your sexual purity and to their own. Once you are married, you will need to be prepared to give grace, but before you are married, look for God’s best!! Choose guys who do not have any drug or alcohol addiction. Keep in mind that any addiction is an idol and a person cannot serve an addiction and God! He also cannot lead in a godly way if he is ensnared and enslaved to an idol of addiction. His addiction will ALWAYS come first! Your needs and your best interests will not be on the radar screen of someone who deals with an addiction. Thank God there is forgiveness for sexual sin and for addictions! And you may fall in love with a man who has these things in his past. But be sure he has a long history of overcoming those failures successfully before uniting with him as his wife or you will suffer GREATLY in your marriage in a way that God does not desire you to! And your children will also suffer if they are raised at the hands of someone who cannot control an addiction. I’m so thankful God can take our failures and turn them into victories for His kingdom. But there are godly men out there. Of course we cannot have perfection. But we can find guys who are actively seeking to love God and love people and honor God with everything they are. Those are the guys who will make the best husbands! Choose a guy who has an even temper! An angry man is very difficult to live with! And whatever anger level you see before marriage will intensify after marriage! You want a guy who can be gentle, who is in control of his voice and his physical reactions. You want a guy who will protect you, not hurt you. Please do not think you can change a violent man! Do not think that it’s your fault if he is violent. He doesn’t know any other way to be. A godly man has self-control and will protect his woman. Falling in love with an angry man is a sure path to destruction, heart ache and pain. Lord, I pray for each precious girl who reads these words. Give them Your direction, wisdom and clarity to find the life You most desire them to have! Let them find Your narrow path that leads to life and find a godly man to be their husband who will represent Christ well to them and their future children. Prepare these women for being godly wives themselves! Let them grow in character, maturity and Christlikeness that they might bring great glory to You! Amen!
  14. Dealing With the Heartache of a Breakup

    I've found this article also that I think is really inspirationnal and helpful When He Walks Away Posted on November 24, 2014 by Peacefulwife Original article : There seems to have been a rash of break ups lately. How my heart aches for anyone who is experiencing that kind of intense pain and grief. In this post, I am addressing couples who were not yet married. (I have a similar post for wives whose husbands want to separate or want a divorce on my other blog today.) I want to offer some suggestions to prayerfully consider if this is your difficult situation right now: Don’t freak out, especially around your man. This is much easier said than done, of course. But, if you go ballistic on your guy when he says he needs space or wants to leave, you are only confirming to him that he made the right decision and that you bring too much drama to his life and that he is better off without you. Not the message you want to send! If you are able, by God’s power, to remain calm and relatively poised, your godly self-control, patience, goodness, love and gentleness will probably catch your man off guard and may even make him rethink things a bit in time. It will show him that you have a level of spiritual maturity that is powerful. And it may prevent him from feeling like he needs to leave you. A woman who is Spirit-filled, gentle, peaceful and self-controlled is very precious and valuable. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. I Peter 3:3-4 Give him space and time. This will not come naturally at all. It will take a very strong faith in God to rest and trust in God’s sovereignty and not give in to your feelings that are screaming at you to chase your guy and hunt him down. But, if you try to force him to come to you after he asked for space, you will repel him to the point that he will not feel that he can return to you, even if he wanted to. I am not saying that if you give him space and time, he will always come back. But if he is going to come back, it will only be if he feels respected in his request for space. Let God speak to his heart. Let him see how much he misses you. God can do more that you can imagine without your help. If you text and call your ex, you may make it harder for him to hear God. Trust God to work out things for your ultimate good as you fully trust Him and submit to Him whatever the outcome may be, knowing that God knows how to direct the course of your life and that His wisdom is much higher than yours. Do a study about waiting on the Lord. Find all the Bible passages that say to “wait on the Lord” and about how “The LORD will fight for you, you need only to be still” (Ex. 14:14). Study God’s sovereignty particularly in the Old Teatament in Genesis, Exodus, Psalms, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ruth, Esther and the prophets. Realize that this may not be about you. Sometimes men leave because they may feel unprepared to be godly husbands. If a man didn’t have godly examples in his life, the thought of trying to be a good husband may be overwhelming. He may need time to work through his own concerns. That has to be ok. He may have a lot of stress in his life. He may be feeling overwhelmed. He may not want to burden you. He may not think he is able to give you all that he wants to. He may have open wounds. Pray for God to accomplish His purposes and His will in your man’s life whether or not he comes back to you. Pray for God to draw him to Himself and for God to be greatly glorified in his life. Pray for emotional and spiritual healing in his life that he might be a faithful servant in God’s kingdom. Read Romans 12:9-21 about how God desires us to treat those who mistreat us. Don’t take revenge! If he did break up with you because of your behavior or attitudes, realize that God may be speaking to you through this situation. Ask God to help you see any sin in your life and anything you may need to repent of to God and to your man. Embrace whatever God wants you to learn and be willing to grow and become a more Christlike woman through this painful trial. Allow God to show you anything He wants to and let Him use this to refine your faith and make you stronger in your faith and in your walk with Him. Study in God’s Word about life giving rebukes and how a wise person responds to a rebuke (Proverbs). There may be something you need to apologize for. Pray about that. Wait a little while for your emotions to settle down – maybe a week or two. And when you know in your heart that God says the timing is right, write a brief apology to him if you believe that is what God is calling you to do. But do not expect anything in return. Regardless of the reason for the break up, ask God to use this time to help you grow, mature and become stronger in your faith in Christ. God promises to use suffering to refine, mature and grow us and to conform us to the image of Christ (I Peter, Hebrews 12, James 1). Ask God what He might desire you to learn. Be open to anything He wants to teach you and just cling to Christ, spending a lot of time in prayer and in God’s Word and maybe even fasting and seeking God’s will. Focus on Praising God. Read Psalms. Listen to and sing along with praise and worship music. Write down all the blessings God has given you. Think about things to be thankful for. Learn to rest and live in God’s peace in the midst of uncertainty. There will be so many times you will need to do this in life! Philippians 4:4-8 is a fantastic passage to memorize and study during a time like this. Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:4-8 Allow yourself to be human, to have feelings, and to process your emotions. You are going to grieve and mourn and be sad when a very special relationship ends. Every little thing may trigger a flood of emotions: a favorite restaurant, an aisle in the grocery store that has his favorite food, phrases he said often, his name and all kinds of things may trigger memories that may be very painful. Take the time you need to work through these things. Take your pain to God. Listen for anytihg God may be whispering to you. Psalms is a great book to read when you are grieving. Use caution in accepting well-meaning advice from friends and family. Some people may try to rush you on to another relationship. Some may tell you that you are better off without your guy and to forget about him. Most people won’t understand being patient and waiting for God to work and to direct you. And most women today won’t understand why on earth you aren’t calling and texting him and telling him what to do. That is ok. Listen to God, not to other people. If he wants to get together, prayerfully consider allowing him to speak first and then listen carefully to whatever he has to say. You might just be surprised about what God may have been doing in his life. It could be wise to let him share first. If you begin to flood him with negativity or criticism, you may miss out on a huge blessing! This requires incredible patience and self-control. But it may be worth it. If he doesn’t want to get back together, respect his decision and trust God’s sovereignty. Listen to God’s Spirit about when it is time to move on. If you have given him a month or two, and haven’t heard from him, and have peace about moving on, please feel free to do so. Don’t try to force him to return to you. If you believe God wants you to continue to wait, then continue to wait on God and His perfect timing and His will. If he does return, consider taking things very slowly. Don’t try to start where you left off, unless you are very sure you know God is giving you a green light about that. I would suggest prayerfully considering rebuilding the relationship very slowly and purposely on God’s principles and taking care of any problems in a spiritually mature, godly way. Watch out for bitterness. Bitterness is very toxic! Focus on forgiving and not clinging to resentment. You don’t have to trust this man until he rebuilds trust. But ask God to empower you to forgive him of every offense so that you don’t get caught in the sins of unforgiveness and bitterness. Here is the first post in a series on Bitterness For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-15 Seek God and His will above all else. Hold your dreams loosely. Be open to any outcome God feels is best for you. This is always important as we submit fully to Christ as Lord. We cling to Him and allow Him to give or take in our lives according to His wisdom. Submission means we hold things of this world loosely. If your man was not a believer or tried to hurt your walk with Christ and encourage you to stray from Him and to sin, please don’t take him back. Only take him back if you have clear peace from God and if this man is committed to living his life in submission to Christ. He doesn’t have to live out his faith the exact way you do – but he should want to put Christ above all else in his life. He should be grieved over any sin in his own life. He should be humbly willing to repent of any offenses he has caused. God’s Word is very clear that we are not to be “unequally yoked” with unbelievers and that we are only to marry someone (and only date someone) who is “in the Lord.” (I Corinthians 7:39, II Corinthians 6:14). I am praying for each of you to have God’s wisdom as you face these fiery trials. And I am praying for Him to use this time of suffering to ultimately bless you and to produce good in your life and His greatest glory.