Belle Femme

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Everything posted by Belle Femme

  1. Does the 'purity message' change as you get older?

    I think this is a subset of a bigger problem. Churches basically ignore single people after college. High school students and college students have their own focused ministries that include guidance about dating and marriage, along with advice on career goals, big decisions, etc. But if you graduate college without a serious boyfriend or girlfriend, too bad, there's nothing in the Church for you. Ministries and Sunday School groups and Fellowships and whatnot are targeted to newlyweds and to parents of kids at different ages. Also, I think the message to teens needs to change, for the record. All the talk about how you deserve a virgin and it's basically your reward for being a virgin, especially coupled with the gross metaphors of a chewed piece of gum or used toothbrush, need to GO. The message in that blog post that's given to older singles is a more inclusive, grace-focused, forgiving one. The obsession with sexual purity practically undermines the amazing glory of God and the power of Her forgiveness. It's like, Jesus can wash away all your sins unless you have premarital sex, then you're still a bit stained, sorry.
  2. If you remarried....

    My parents both have ex-spouses. They both WTM for their first spouses. Their first spouses are the ones who called off the marriages. Neither of my parents wanted their divorces. But it worked out in the end. This December my parents will celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary. Also, luckily enough, neither of my parents had kids with their exes, so I don't have any half-siblings.
  3. Marriage...a different perspective

    Libertarians have been pointing out the problems of government-recognized marriage for awhile now. Unfortunately, the US government is so intertwined with marriage that I doubt we can change that. Some of the really intense, very ideological libertarians still argue pretty fervently for removing government for marriage, but I'm a bit more practical than that. Our government is already in bed with all us married folk. Too late to change that.
  4. Guys. Make-up or natural?

    I read the question and IMMEDIATELY thought the same thing. I figured all the guys would claim to prefer the "no makeup" face, but most guys say that without knowing what women really look like without makeup. For some pictures for comparison, these two articles are good. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sierra-mckenzie/the-myth-of-no-makeup_b_4303151.html http://www.thegloss.com/2013/07/05/beauty/social-experiment-confirms-men-like-natural-makeup/
  5. I think we're just asking questions now, so everyone has a chance to chime in with their questions, and then a new thread with the answers will be posted. I love Sally's enthusiasm, though. Also, I think mods can ask each other questions too!
  6. Its legal to take upskirt photos in texas and washington DC

    While I find it absolutely abhorrent that this jerk was taking upskirt pictures in D.C., I recommend reading some of the comments in the Jezebel article on this topic. The ruling is based on whether or not the police had probable cause to arrest the photographer.
  7. Woohoo, I'll start!!!!! Let's go all circa 2000 chat room first. A/S/L (Age/Sex/Location, for any of y'all too young to have been on the Internetz in 2000). Location can be as specific as a city or as broad as a country. Did your parents raise you with a specific religion? If so, which one, and do you still practice it? What is your day job? (I freelance for a web design company, doing social media, copywriting, and project management). What is your realistic dream job? (Be a freelance writer and copywriter). What is your fantasy dream job? (Be a world-famous author whose books are turned into a TV show). . What's your college major and/or what's your degree in? If you could only watch 5 movies for the rest of your life, which movies would you pick?
  8. Obviously we all come across the mods while using these forums, and we can kinda get an idea of who they are, where they're from, their perspectives, etc. as we read their posts. But I've been here almost six months, and I still feel like I don't know much about all the mods. Is there a Meet the Mods thread somewhere that I've missed? Similar to the thread introducing married waiters? If not, can we start one? Thanks!
  9. Is there a "Meet the Mods" thread anywhere?

    I think that would be a great idea! Maybe we could have a thread open for a week or so for submitting questions, and then y'all could answer them!
  10. Viewer's Undiscretion

    The thread that called my views heretical is a few months old, and it triggered my decrease in involvement here. That same thread referred to me as either a supposed or a so-called Christian--I forget the exact language. It was a heated thread that I'm not going to find and link. The person who blamed me for ruining this site edited his post three times, so it no longer says that, but his original comment did.
  11. Is there a "Meet the Mods" thread anywhere?

    The About page is really short, and it only lists y'all's real names, not your usernames. Going back and forth between the list and y'all's posts, I can figure it out, but it's not super-obvious. Plus the little bios are cute and amusing, but don't really explain your nationalities, your ages, your religious beliefs, etc., the sort of information that would give greater context to your choices to wait. I think having a stickied thread in this sub-forum that introduces y'all would really help new members. Also, aren't there more mods who aren't listed?
  12. Viewer's Undiscretion

    Yeah, only Christians in this forum have accused me of spreading heretical views, insinuated I'm not actually a Christian, and blamed me for "ruining" this forum. I don't see how having a "Christian-only" subforum would encourage more respectful conversations. Conservative Christians are already the majority of users, or at least the majority of vocal users.
  13. Do you believe in aliens/UFOS?

    I'm really excited about First Contact with the Vulcans.
  14. Viewer's Undiscretion

    I just skimmed the last few months of responses in the "Ask a Married Waiter Forum," and I don't see anything inappropriately graphic.
  15. Men Making Decisions

    Read more here. I also highly recommending all of Jesus Feminist by Sarah Bessey. This is a great website, and this particular page explains better interpretations of the problematic passages in the Bible, from a Greek and Hebrew scholar and medical missionary. And for more details on the Greek mistranslated in 1 Timothy 2:11-14. My Christianity is NOT "watered down," for the record. Choosing to actually study the original Greek and the historical context of the Bible is indicative of an active and engaged faith, instead of blindly following whatever people tell me.
  16. Men Making Decisions

    In Genesis 1, God creates man and woman at the same time and commands them, together, to procreate and to take care of the Earth. That's it. But if you want to discuss Genesis 2:18, in the original Hebrew, woman is referred to as "ezer kenegdo." Take a look at this. Jasmine, this explanation is VERY similar to past justification of slavery using supposed biological facts to claim Europeans are the superior race. Are we not equal despite the differences in our skin color?
  17. Is Virginity Really Attractive?

    I'm not all women, nor are all of my friends representative of all women, but when we say we want a man who is "slightly experienced," we mean that he's at least kissed a woman before. That's about it. The women actively seeking out non-virgins will use stronger terminology than "slightly experienced." I mean, slightly means "not very much at all."
  18. My husband was raised Catholic. Attend Catholic school his entire life. Can wrestle with many of the theological issues facing American Christianity today and can provide the perspectives of different theological schools of thought. Spent a lot of time in deep contemplation regarding God and Religion and concluded there's not enough evidence or compelling reasons to support it. Two of my friends from high school, one of whom I'm still in touch with, were both raised in very religious environments. Were both very involved with their youth groups. Were both very involved with FCA in high school. Both eventually became atheists, again after considerable thought and study. Both are very intelligent and successful, and both are very committed to their families, our hometown, and tradition. But neither of them have remained Christian, despite their solid upbringing, Christian backgrounds, and still-Christian siblings. I actually only know one atheist in my life who was NOT raised in a Christian (or Jewish--my two Jewish cousins are atheist) household. Anecdotes /=/ data, but the phrase "Many atheists/skeptics left their faith after a period of intense study and seriousness about their faith" isn't exactly a quantitative statement.
  19. I totally kissed my husband on our second date. It was awesome. I still get butterflies thinking about it. Most firework-inducing kiss of my life!
  20. Flowers

    This isn't answering your question, and I'm not a dude, but... I often buy myself flowers. Yes, my husband surprises me with flowers sometimes, but I LOVE having fresh flowers in the house too much to only wait for him. Plus when they're marked down at Kroger to Manager's Special, they're a great deal, and they still usually last at least a week. I do sometimes pick out yellow flowers instead of pink ones because yellow is my husband's favorite color. But I'm not buying them for him; I'm buying them for us.
  21. How is the Walmart cashier, BTW? Progress reports?
  22. OKCupid! See my online dating tag for all the gooey details.
  23. At 77, retired, with my husband at my side, taking our grand-kids on cruises and trips to Europe.
  24. Where to find a girl like you

    My husband found me on OKCupid. There are so many match questions you can answer and ways to filter potential matches. NYC is really big, with tons of people--it's just a matter of finding the right ones. I would give online dating another go. While it's easier to meet women in general in person, it's easier to filter waiters from non-waiters online.