Belle Femme

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Everything posted by Belle Femme

  1. I had four official "first dates," including the one with my husband. I also had this weird kinda-sorta complicated dating thing with this guy in France. But my husband was my first boyfriend. I was never in a relationship before him. It's funny because several of my friends and my twin brother had all guessed that I would end up marrying my first boyfriend, not out of desperation or anything, but because my standards were so high that I wouldn't bother being with someone who wasn't marriage material. They were right!
  2. Flirting/Teasing

    My husband comes from a family of butt-smackers. They think playfully hitting each other on the butt is HILARIOUS. Of course, when my husband and I do it to each other, it's flirty, but not overtly sexual. We also IM while we're at work, and we share little bits of sexual innuendo. After work, we like to cuddle while watching Star Trek, which sometimes leads to foreplay. Yes, we are a sexy nerdy couple! When we're out and about, we're very affectionate. We're usually holding hands, or standing close to each other, or kissing each other (chastely, b/c he's not big into PDA--I could TOTALLY make out in public after living in France for two years).
  3. Before sharing a bed with my husband (which we did prior to marriage), I always needed a lot of space if I shared a bed with someone, be it my mom or a friend or whomever. The first time I shared a bed with my husband was after our fourth date, and I needed a lot of space, just like I did with friends. The next time was many months later, after we were "official," and it was like heaven. I had no idea that sleeping (literally) with someone else could be so perfect. I LOVE sharing a bed with my husband. We usually fall asleep cuddling. If it's too hot, we fall asleep holding hands or with our feet touching. I sleep so much better when I'm with him than when I sleep alone, even though I wake up more frequently during the night to readjust my position in relation to him. I think the difference between sharing a bed with my husband and anyone else is that I feel comfortable with my husband in a way that I can't feel with anyone else. So I'm not self-conscious or anything when I'm with him.
  4. Dating sites?

    My husband and I met on OKCupid! Neither of us listed our virginity in our profile, but we both openly answered several multi-choice questions about sex, with explanations that admitted we were waiting til marriage. So it's something that showed up if a guy spent time looking at our "match" questions, but I definitely found out that not all guys who dated me had bothered reading those questions. What I have learned about online dating sites, through my own experiences and those of my friends, are 1) there are creepers everywhere--just ignore them 2) geography plays a huge part in success. The nice thing about OKCupid is that if you answer questions publicly, and so does the other person, y'all can see each other's answers. One question is if sex is mandatory before marriage. That question alone can help you weed out prospects, assuming the other person answered it.
  5. I used to be on the Pill to help me with cramps that left me bedridden. I went off it for ahwile, and my cramps got better, so I stayed off it. Then they started getting horrific again, a few months before I got married. It took a LOT more effort than I had imagined getting a doctor to see me for a BC consultation, but I finally found a nurse practitioner who was available. I started the patch about three weeks before our wedding, and I also used it to skip a period that normally would have fallen on our honeymoon. I don't think wanting to avoid pregnancy somehow made our wedding afternoon (morning wedding = afternoon sex!) less intimate or special. Trust me, I would not have been able to relax if I had been freaking out about getting pregnant. And I LOVE having pain-free periods again. Not getting pregnant is just a bonus!
  6. Meet our successful waiters

    Hi, I'm Belle Femme, formally Belle Vierge. My husband (Beau) and I saved coitus for marriage. I'm 26, and he's 27. I'm pretty candid talking about sex and virginity, so feel free to ask me anything, even if you'd rather contact me privately!
  7. By that logic, if your husband loves you, he'll love your name and want to take your name. While I certainly think that both men and women alike should be free to do as they want with their names when they get married, I'm uncomfortable with one-sided reasoning that is primarily used to reinforce the status quo. I love my husband, and his name is perfectly fine. I still kept my last name when we got married, and I've made it very clear to our friends and family that I am NOT Mrs. His Last Name. Of course, I really wanted him to take my last name, not to make a statement or anything, but because I wanted to be part of a groundbreaking lawsuit against our state. Most states have a specific name-changing protocol for women when they get married, but only a few have the same for men. I totally wanted to get our state's law changed so it's no longer discriminatory against men...