CrystalFaerie

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Everything posted by CrystalFaerie

  1. No longer fun..... (?)

    Ah right. I didn't know wtm.org used to lead here. My bad!
  2. No longer fun..... (?)

    It's not a dead link though... http://waitingtillmarriage.org is there, just as it's always been
  3. "I Don't Know What To Say"

    I needed to hear that today, thank you. * I completely agree with the above post. I would add the following to the second point: Sometimes people genuinely care and want to help, but they don't know how. Maybe they think you want space when you really want a hug. Maybe they think you don't want to talk about it when you really do. I have a number of support people in my life who were completely lost - always trying their best, but still at a loss, sometimes to the point that their efforts were counterproductive - until I told them what I needed. It can take a heart-to-heart conversation, or even a spreadsheet with "what I need", "what to do when ___", etc if necessary. In any case, if you believe this person is supportive of you and wants to help but honestly doesn't know how, I would highly recommend talking to them about it. Sadly, it's true that not everyone has the skills to help you in this kind of situation. In that case, it's okay to turn to someone else. Maybe you could find a support group for what you are experiencing. You don't have to be alone just because one person wasn't able to help. Best of luck to you (((hugs)))
  4. Tell Me a Story, I'm Sick

    I hope you feel better soon! My pet bunny really likes to nibble our house plants, and he knows he's not allowed to. Yesterday I caught him nibbling one, so I told him off. As soon as I wasn't looking anymore, he hopped over to the next house plant and nibbled that one. Every time I told him off, he would just hop over to the next one, and the next, and the next. He went around the entire living room like that. To be fair, he wasn't wrong. I never told him not to eat all the plants... One time I went to a meeting where the speaker talked about printing a flute with a 4D printer. He meant 3D, of course. But it was funny listening to him talk about his "four-dimensional flute" during the entire presentation. Last week I realised the key I have to a storage room at university actually unlocks all the rooms on that floor. Said rooms are the offices of my teachers. I realised this late at night, while I was tidying up with a classmate and nobody else was around. So I did the obvious thing... I unlocked my professor's office, hid in the darkness, and jumped out shouting "BOOH" when my classmate walked past PS: @mewaiting good luck for your exam tomorrow!
  5. Values your parents taught you

    Hey guys After vanishing for a couple of months, I'm back and I see people have been talking about the site being dead. Since I've had values on my mind for a while now, I thought I'd use it as a topic to hopefully hear a bit from you guys (and get to know the new people better - hi!). WTM people talk a lot about their strong values and how they guide us in life. We also talk a lot about marriage and future families. My question is: which values did your parents teach you that still guide you today? (Not necessarily WTM, but that can be one of them!) And which values would you like to pass on to your children? Are there values you learnt on your own, but that you wish your parents had taught you? I'll start: I didn't have a religious or particularly ethics-oriented upbringing, so values like faith, community or even generosity weren't often talked about. I ended up exploring those parts of life on my own. Still, my parents taught me these values which I am glad I hold today: respect for living beings, nature and the world we live in respect for books and education in general gratitude for what I have awareness of my roots and appreciation of my culture critical thinking and not relying on others to make my own choices treating people according to who they are rather than what they are (African or European, straight or LGBT, rich or poor, old or young...) by extension, pride in who I am despite peer pressure to conform These are all values I'd like to pass on to my children. Others I wasn't taught but would like to pass on are: reverence towards all deities and acknowledgement of what is greater than us spiritual roots and tradition the importance of family and community respect for ancestors and those who paved the way for us, and for the wisdom of elders communication and reconciliation over anger and resentment compassion and generosity speaking well of others As you can tell, many of these are religion-based; the others are things my family implicitly valued, but never really taught. I believe the above points would've made my upbringing stronger and provided more solid foundations from which to grow. Though I'm glad I built them eventually, and overall I am happy with the way my parents raised me, I would like to provide these foundations from the beginning to my children. Your turn now!
  6. Random Thoughts

    I'm back! Who are all these new people and where did they come from I'm kidding, I'm glad to see new faces around
  7. Would you marry someone who isnt your faith, but is WTM?

    Given how many people share my tradition, I'll probably have to In all seriousness, I would marry someone of any faith or non-faith so long as they met two criteria: 1. their beliefs/values stem from a similar place as mine - that is, being the best person you can be through compassion, tolerance, piety towards their God(s) (if religious) and showing consideration for all life; 2. they respect my beliefs and tradition. I wouldn't marry someone who expects only their beliefs to be practised openly in the household. It should be a fair deal - the children get exposed to both traditions, and when they're old enough they decide for themselves. Criteria 1 is important because no matter what they choose, they should be raised first and foremost as good people. I'd much rather have kind, discerning Christian/Muslim/Jewish/other children than selfish, disrespectful Hellenic ones. So yes, I would marry someone of a different faith so long as our other beliefs line up.
  8. Three religions. One house.

    Personally I think this is a fantastic idea. I think I heard about it a while ago and had the same thought - it has the opportunity to bring closer a lot of people who wouldn't really interact otherwise. If a temple of my religion was included in a building like that (well, first off, I'd be amazed it's included somewhere xD) I would most certainly go there to worship! My only worry would be that this could lead to disagreements and potential vandalism. I can easily see, for example, members of one group (any group!) jumping on the opportunity to trash another group's holy place, or to cause havoc in the common room. I don't think these people would be in the majority, far from it - and there would likely be less and less as time goes by and as dialogue is encouraged - but it would still have the potential to be harmful and discouraging. I still think it's a concept well worth trying out.
  9. Do you find men with long hair attractive?

    Yessssss I'm all for long hair. Ideal length is between ear and shoulder length, but anything goes - I just really like long hair On girls too. As a girl with hip length hair, whenever I see another girl with hair that long, it's an insta-like
  10. Merry Christmas

    Merry Christmas everyone! And happy Hannukah too!
  11. Is this forum for me?

    Another non-American non-Christian here! You're most welcome
  12. Religion!

    Yesss a Jewish person! (Well, a believer in Judaism.) It's lovely to see an extra faith represented here. I've been wondering where our Jewish waiters were So if I understand you correctly, you're not ethnically Jewish but you did convert to Judaism? I'm your local Pagan by the way. Hellenic polytheist.
  13. 25 facts about YOU!

    And did he turn into a prince?
  14. "The Questionnaire"

    1. What is your favourite word? Ineffable and goulash. Better: ineffable goulash. 2. What is your least favourite word? Greubons. It's a Swiss word for the hard bits that are left over when lard melts. 3. What sound or noise do you love? Splashing water. 4. What sound or noise do you hate? Loud and unexpected noises. 5. What turns you on? Kindness and intelligence. 6. What turns you off? Arrogance and people who smoke. 7. What is your favourite curse word? Dammit! 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Humanitarian relief worker, or funeral director. 9. What profession would you least like to attempt? Soldier. 10. If Heaven exists, what would you want to hear God say to you when you arrive at the pearly gates? "The Fields of Asphodel are that way, sweet one. Your loved ones are waiting for you."
  15. Random Thoughts

    So I was reading an ancient text for one of my classes and it mentioned a prince called Masturbi. Masturbi. Thank God the poor guy died three millennia ago.
  16. Random Thoughts

    You can join in on my plan if you like. The idea is to run away to somewhere where indigenous beliefs are still widespread, then convince the locals that I'm a a nature spirit. They will leave out food offerings, thus saving me the effort of learning to hunt. Perks of the job include singing at twilight, dressing in flowing robes and darting in and out of the corner of people's eyes
  17. Is he open to other forms of physical intimacy? Maybe you could talk to him and together, try to go back to kissing, holding hands, cuddling, etc. Depending on his limits, you could try making out, or even slightly more sexual activities that aren't actually sex. That might be a way of getting intimate again and releasing a bit of your pent-up sexual energy. I don't have much other advice, but I am sorry to hear that you're in this situation and I hope that you find a solution that is the best for both of you. Hugs.
  18. @'tis the Bearded One Wow! Good to know, I had no idea.
  19. (not a married waiter) Sex is supposed to be whatever you want it to be. Want to have fun and playful sex? Go for it. Want to have slow, romantic sex? Go for it. Want to have rough, kinky, porn-style sex? Go for it. Whatever makes you and your partner happy (and is consensual) is what sex is supposed to be. The main problem of porn isn't the type of sex that it depicts. It's the expectations. In real life, you don't get laid just by staying after class or fixing someone's plumbing. Girls (and guys) aren't there just to satisfy your every kink. Girls don't all have perfect curves, big breasts and no body hair. Guys don't all have six-packs, and they're not all massively well-endowed. All this is not realistic and often not respectful either. Real sex should be down-to-earth and respectful of your partner. Beyond that, it can be whatever you both want it to be.
  20. That's awesome! I had a similar experience, people thought it was a phase but I've been a Hellenic polytheist for almost ten years now (albeit on-and-off for a couple) I'm glad to know there's another Pagan around!
  21. I swear I gasped when I saw the title of this thread. This is the moment I've been waiting for all my life I'm your local polytheist and I'm pleased to say hi! I'm a Hellenic polytheist and have been since I was twelve, though I took a side-step through Wicca and eclectic Paganism in my late teenage years. I'm also a New Zealander living in Switzerland. So as you can see, both a Pagan and an international member! There's a lot more internationals than Pagans but we're definitely here What kind of Pagan are you? I'm curious to know
  22. To the non virgin girls

    I'm terribly unqualified to answer the original question in this thread (complete virgin, never so much as kissed someone, longest relationship lasted something like 3-4 months) but I wanted to give a perspective on the idea that dating someone with experience is sharing them with their previous partners. I've been very close to a few people in my life - friends, family, partners. Each of them is unique in their own way, and I care about them all deeply. I view it like each of them having a little piece of my heart inside them, even the ones I'm not in touch with anymore. But that doesn't mean that my heart is diminished, and that I can't love them individually and equally. Slight tangent: take, for example, my childhood best friend, let's call her N, and my current best friend, let's call him V. N was a sweet, emotional girl who liked to dance, read and relax alone with me in nature. V is boisterous, sensitive but pragmatic, and likes to tell jokes and go to social activities. My personality is closer to N's, and sometimes I wish that V would be more willing to do the things I used to do with her. But that doesn't take away from my friendship with V, not in the least. They're both different, and there are things I do with V that N wouldn't have enjoyed either. I don't constantly compare them or wish that I was still friends with N instead of V. Yes, I still care about N and I hope that she's happy whatever she's doing. But V is my best friend now, and I'm so, so glad he is. Just because N was my best friend before him doesn't make my friendship with V any less special. What I mean to say is that the human heart is wonderfully good at loving. There's a lot more room in it for new love than we tend to think. To give another example, a lot of mothers are afraid of loving their second child as much as their first, but they quickly realise that there's enough love in them for both, because each child is their own individual person and it's like loving for the first time all over again. We give out little pieces of our heart to those we care about, but somehow, our heart stays whole and just as ready to love again. Or rather, it's like the pieces we gave out grow back every time, but differently. We don't share them. We create new ones, and we do it all the time. For friends. For family. For children. For crushes. And for romantic partners. It's true that giving your heart to your girlfriend or boyfriend isn't the same as giving it to your friend. I completely understand the romantic aspect of being the first and only person your partner has ever loved, and how exciting it is to discover everything together. But, in my opinion, it says a lot about a person's heart that they gave it to someone else, were hurt, and yet were willing to start all over again with you. It takes strength to love without fear. Honestly, I think I would rather share my partner's heart with a thousand other people than to be the only one they gave it to. Because it shows just how much they care, and how willing they are to keep caring despite things not always having worked out. I gave my heart to my ex-boyfriends and I even give it to my crushes. But that won't take away from any future relationships, because each person is unique. And for each new person I love it's like I have a whole new heart to love them with. (Finally, to get this post back on track with the topic of the thread, I'd like to add that my opinion is different when it comes to sex. (Duh, otherwise I wouldn't be here.) Sex is an actual commitment, and a physical and intimate expression of love. For me, it means opening up completely and entirely to one person - it's what separates a long-term relationship from a "forever" one. While I can understand how you can love a new partner after leaving an old one, I'm just as curious as you guys as to how people relate to new partners who aren't just romantic but also sexual.)
  23. I like physical contact, but only with my close friends, my family, and anyone I'm romantically interested in. To me, touching someone is quite a personal exchange and demands trust - I mean, the person touching you could grab you, pull you, do anything to you, not that I expect them to but on an instinctual level, you're in a vulnerable position. I love it when I'm in physical contact with people I'm close to, and I'm constantly touching them, coming up from behind to hug them, resting against them and so on, but I'm not in the least comfortable having physical contact with people I'm not close to. If I allow you to touch me, it means I like you very much I'm also not the type to initiate contact. Since I myself don't like it unless I know the person well, I'm conscious that others might be like me and so I'll wait for them to make the move. Otherwise, I tend to mirror their behaviour. If they're touchy feely and I'm comfortable with that, I'll touch them back, but if they're not, I'll keep my distance. Obviously, the problem lies in the fact that some people don't like to initiate either On one hand, it's reassuring to know that there are others like me and that we can take our time becoming comfortable around each other. But on the other hand, it makes relationships difficult if both parties are waiting for the other to make the move!
  24. Random Thoughts

    Things I wish I could say when people answer my texts one week late: Thanks for your answer but you could've said earlier, I was kind of depending on you to make plans for this week Things I say when people answer my texts one week late: There's no need to apologise, it doesn't matter, I'm a patient person anyway I'm such a pushover.