PaulJustPaul

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About PaulJustPaul

  • Rank
    Resident Philosopher & Director of Controversy
  • Birthday 06/05/1993

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Canadiana
  • Interests
    Having sex - If you believed this for a second, scroll to the top of this webpage to the website banner, and familiarize with the website's name.

    Ethics - I'm very passionate about veganism, as a compassionate way to live.

    Psychology - I'm particularly interested in social cognition and personality. As much as I appreciate the current scientific literature, I still believe Jungian typology and its derivatives (MBTI, Temperament Theory, Socionics) are highly underrated.

    Music - I sing and play bass, and love any kind of music that is organic, authentic, and not quite mainstream (I want to hear people playing music, not computers). John Mayer, Breaking Benjamin, and Robert Glasper are, hands down, my favourite artists.

    Strength-training - I train primarily in progressive calisthenics to improve my physical capabilities. Hopefully, I can use this strength and ability to protect others in need (read: hero complex). I also enjoy yoga and Animal Flow.

    Superheroes - my career aspiration: Batman.

    Movies - Anything by Christopher Nolan is untouchable.

    Hanging upside down - Because it's awesome! You should try it!

    God - Whatever God is, it is everything, and it is amazing.

Contact Methods

  • Skype
    paulwesley_19

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  1. Agnostic and Waiting

    Vegan = baller!
  2. I think I would generally take a two-step process: (1) Don't have sex. (2) Repeat as necessary. If a woman needs me to set boundaries, then we probably aren't on the same page. It should go without saying that we'll stay celibate until marriage. I think there's nothing wrong with exploring sexuality short of intercourse during engagement, prior to marriage. In fact, that's what I think I may do, unless someone convinces me otherwise. That way, we can get an understanding of each others' sexuality, while not taking away from our vow or saving the most intimate of intimacies for our marriage.
  3. Vegan Style and beautiful women

    So, what I'm hearing is... you're AWESOME?!
  4. Vegan Style and beautiful women

    You summed it up so perfectly! I'm very excited for you! And I've been vegan for 3 years (not a long time, but long enough to know how to do it ), so if you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask me. And just to be clear, I wasn't really upset about the pescetarian/vegetarian confusion. I just find it kind of funny when people call themselves vegetarians yet are not. But I also call vegetarianism either "weak sauce" or "veganism in training", so I like to make humour with a bitter taste to it. When you say you're never going back... That's probably true. You seem like a sweet and compassionate person, with a great heart. So beware - once you go vegan for reasons other than simply your own physical health, you will find more and more reasons to do so. It just makes sense, and it is amazing. It is life-changing, for both yourself and everyone you impact. My excitement for you is indescribable. Of course, don't put immense pressure on yourself. Let yourself BECOME vegan - do it gradually. That way, you'll allow yourself to get used to it more and more, and making it more likely that you will stick with it. Best of luck on your journey! Stead, don't worry, I know you well enough that you're never trying to be antagonistic. You're super curious and inquisitive, and I think it's amazing. There's a difference between asking question and trying to create a "GOTCHA!" scenario. I know the difference - I'd answer either way, but especially with you, always happy. Both scenarios are interesting, and actually quite similar, dealing with the same principles, I believe. These animals are raised with "care", and then their products are extracted. On the surface, it sounds fine. But digging deeper, it's kind of f***ed. Why would that couple have a chicken in their back yard? Was it a nonhuman refugee, who they have decided to protect and care for unconditionally? It doesn't really sound that way - it sounds like they "care" for the chicken, but have him/her there so they can take the chicken's eggs. I ask: Why do the couple need to get something out of it? Is the satisfaction of caring for that beautiful creature not enough? When it comes to veganism, it is not simply the killing or brutal treatment that is of concern - it also comes down to exploitation. Is it right to exploit a sentient being? We would say it is not morally acceptable to exploit a HUMAN animal, but don't hold the same standards for treatment of nonhuman animals. And I've never heard a good reason for that distinction. We separate our species from every other species, really, simple because our species is our species. It sounds circular, and that's because it is. We view other species as inferior and not worth of freedom from exploitation simply because they are not our species, and do not share interests identical to ours. However, their interests, albeit perhaps simpler, are still their interests. They value their lives in the same way we do ours - one's life is all one has. So while taking the egg may not physically or apparently harm the chicken, it is still disrespectful. We deny them the freedom of living their lives free of exploitation, the freedom we grant our fellow humans. It's an unfounded double standard, and that's why I find it immoral. If freedom of exploitation in humans is a moral right, and there is no good reason to MORALLY distinguish between our species and others (in terms of the value each of us are assigned), then there is no good reason to deny that right to freedom of exploitation to nonhuman animals. That's it all in a nutshell. Of course, it's a little more complicated, but I have a feeling we'll continue discussing this. With regards to the bees, that is interesting for sure. And much more complicated. I like to say I'm a deontologist in theory, but must be a utilitarian in practice. It is wrong (albeit not immensely) for beekeepers to exploit these bees for their honey. And frankly, the dying rates of honey bees may be that they're used for honey production, and nearly all are killed in the process. But even if that is not the case, and their survival is improved by safe, non-lethal beekeeping, is it still morally wrong? Yes, for it is exploitation of a sentient being, denying them the ability to live their lives freely. BUT... that does not mean supporting such an industry is morally wrong per se. It's an imperfect world, and our use of nonhumans, even this so called "humane" beekeeping, is ugly. But if it ensures the lives of these bees, and more bees in the future, as well as more animals overall in the future (including ourselves), it is the right thing then to support this industry? Maybe. We need to think of the end result. It probably would not ensure the lives of the bees currently being kept, but maybe the lives of future bees. It's not my position, but it can be a morally defensible one, for sure. I think you're touching upon an interesting point, though. I'm a vegan, so I supposedly don't eat any animal products. I've been a vegan for 3 years. When the last time I ate animal products? About a month ago. My mom, who's been trying to go more vegan (and probably will be vegan in a few years) made breaded zucchini fries, using up old store-bought Italian bread crumbs. I bet she did not know they had parmesan cheese in them. But I ate them. They were tasty, but I didn't like the idea I was eating cheese. The reason I ate them is not because I was "cheating", but because veganism is not about my own personal purity - it's about the animals. If I refused to eat them because of a bit of cheese in them, my mother, brother, and father would see veganism as difficult and picky, and be less interested. Now, my brother is going vegan, and my mom is inching her way there, and my dad is at least thinking more about it. And I credit that to my not freaking out about every little ingredient. If I go to a restaurant and make a huge deal of only getting things that did not touch any animal products, only to find out it's impossible and leave, who would be more likely to think of the animals they eat? Probably no one. If I order the most vegan thing I can (like a veggie burger without cheese, but possibly with egg in the patty), I will make thinking of animals seem easier, and possibly inspire more people to stop eating animals. Sometimes, refined white sugar is processed through charcoal made of bone marrow - sometimes, not always. But I don't concern myself with that anymore. If someone sees me eating a box of Oreos, and I tell them there is no meat, no eggs, and no milk (that "creme" is make of coconut and sugar), chances are veganism is going to seem much more appealing. I could say I don't want to support the use of animal bone charcoal, but if I do so, I'll probably make veganism more appealing, and more people will go vegan. Then, the use of animals in such a way as to filter sugar will probably cease in the future. It's sacrificing purity. It's being okay with a bit of compromise, with the belief that it will ultimately create a vegan world more quickly. It's not a perfect world, so we can't be perfect. I'm 100% vegan, and I am imperfect. It's not about vegan points, or never touching something with animal products in it. It's about recognizing the value of all sentient beings, and striving to make this world a place where all are loved and respected. This is an EXCELLENT video, that I think will make people better understand what veganism SHOULD be. I used to be one of those self-concerned, "Oh, but there's honey in it!" vegans. Now, I'm focused on the message I'm producing. It's not about me, it's about the innocents. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEAgfIWu6W0 This might have gotten convoluted, and I apologize. But PLEASE shoot any other questions towards me, whether they be new questions or requests for clarification. I'm more than happy to share this wonderful message to any that are curious.
  5. Vegan Style and beautiful women

    B-12 doesn't come strictly from meat. It comes from bacteria in the soil that nonhuman "farm animals" ingest as they consume the crops they do. That's why they get it and we don't - we wash all our produce. That's what I've learned, but I could be wrong. And physiologically, yes, we were meant to eat meat - if by that, we agree that we mean we have omnivorous digestive systems. But if we can get B-12 from cleaner sources, and ones that don't involve harming, exploiting, and/or killing innocents, why the heck not? I'd always rather be compassionate than eating tasty food. Eating tasty helps me. Being compassionate helps others. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvpePfC9hh8&index=6&list=PLmIqdlomtuStz4uRepEBw2w0SgWNPSWDV And calcium is found plenty in green vegetables. We think of all these nutrients we can only get from other animals. But ask: HOW DO THESE ANIMALS GET THESE NUTRIENTS?! Any nutrients you're getting from eating other animals (I say "other" animals because we always forget WE are animals) are second-hand. Either you make it in your own body (like creatine), or get it from plants (protein, calcium, etc.). As do the animals we eat. And, again, why not get nutrients from a better source? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ANCusVd_Kk We're not carnivores, we're omnivores. But we can survive and thrive on a plant-based diet. We may be healthier, but more importantly, the planet, and the beautiful innocent creatures that live on it, will benefit from it. Honestly, I love sharing all this, because everything changes as a vegan. Everyone is more important and special in your eyes, and you feel amazing (provided you have decent nutrition). Something else that's important to really hit home is this: We can't bash the "vegan diet" (which is sort of a misnomer - veganism is an ethical philosophy; what we really mean is a plant-based diet, or strict vegetarian diet) as inherently unhealthy when most of us eat like crap anyways! It's hilarious to hear people saying that a plant-based diet has its limitations and ultimately isn't healthy when we all eat like garbage. If you meet a long-term vegan, chances are they are much healthier than someone who eats other animals. This is my experience. I was expecting to feel really crappy as a vegan, but did it anyways - I wasn't going to have more blood on my hands. But once I became vegan, I did not need to take daily allergy medication anymore. My immune system is astonishingly better - if I get sick, it's very brief and mild, whereas I used to get sick a lot and stay that way for a long time. And this is the case with many others, too. And we can't use the "ex-Vegans" as examples. If you ask them about how they ate, they probably just stopped eating certain things, while not taking into account the nutrients they were missing by cutting out meat and how to replace them with plants. You can be a (physically) healthy meat-eater, for sure. I'm not saying otherwise. But you'd be surprised how many people stick with veganism and show profound health improvements. Last order of business: If you eat fish, you're not a vegetarian!!!! Fish is meat! It's flesh! If you eat fish, but no other animal-based meat, you eat a semi-vegetarian diet, technically. Vegetarians don't eat any animal flesh. Strict vegetarians eat only plants, no animal products whatsoever. Vegans are strict vegetarians who are motivated out of ethical principle to do so. Done. *mic drop*
  6. Vegan Style and beautiful women

    Hey! If you're interested, check out veganbodybuilding.com It's a great resource for vegan living, and has many profiles of GORGEOUS herbivorous women, discussing why and how they went vegan. Of course, veganism is different than a plant-based diet - veganism you do for the world around you, a plant-based diet you do for yourself. Also check out the YouTube channel Bite Size Vegan. There are many terrific videos on veganism, whether it be navigating ethical dilemmas or ensuring you get all the nutrients you need (Hint: It's much easier than most people think). There are videos with vegan athletes and figure/physique competitors, as well as with top nutritionists. It's a fantastic resource. CarolineWaits on this forum is also a vegan - when she came to visit Toronto in the summer, we had TONS of fun checking out different vegan restaurants. So her, mewaiting, and myself are all vegans who would be happy to answer any question you've got. My best friend became a vegan after knowing me, and now has been so for 6 months. She has a new vigor for life, but she also looks healthier. She's lost some body fat, her skin is cleared up, and just looks more vibrant. She loves how she feels now, both in her body and soul. So please, if you ever have any questions, post them here, or message me, I'd be more than happy to shed any kind of insight.
  7. For extroverted guys, they may typically like to do the pursuing. For introverted guys, though, they probably enjoy being pursued. Now, when I say "introverted", it is not the same thing as "shy". Introverts just focus on reflection and the inner world, and are less inclined to go out in the world and be confrontational. I'm a big introvert, though I often don't seem it. When I like a girl, I don't pursue her usually, because I wish to not make her uncomfortable, or face rejection. It's not that I wouldn't want to, but I'm less comfortable with outward declarations of my feelings. When a girl tells me they find me attractive and a good guy, and thus express interest, then I go for it! I don't need a girl to "pursue" me per se, but if she at least suggests she wants me, I would then further pursue her, but only after she initiates the pursuing, I guess. I don't know why "pursuing" must be one-sided. You should pursue each other.
  8. Most girls will say no, most guys will say yes. You just watch...
  9. Ask an Atheist!

    Okay, forgive me: I must get all the silly questions out of my system first. 1) What's it like to not know that God exists? 2) What's it like knowing you'll burn in hell for all eternity because you haven't given your life to Jesus Christ? 3) What's the difference between Satanism and Atheism? 4) Do you believe in Science or God? 5) If you don't believe God will send down his wrath in the form of a lightning bolt if you have sex, why wouldn't you do it? Sex is the bomb! PHEW! Now the serious question: actually, a more proper phrasing of (5). In the absence of a religious background or personal concern with religion, where does the idea of waiting come from? The value of waiting need not be sustained by arguing "Because the [religious text] says so!", but typically, we can expect the knowledge of such an option to at least be born from religion. So when you're an atheist, how do you know waiting is the right thing? How did you learn about it as a concept?
  10. Fear of being cheated on?

    It sucks, doesn't it? Many people can only think of themselves, and neglect consideration of who may get hurt as a result of their actions. This probably will not be a satisfying answer. But you just need to have faith - in God, in the universe, in the faith of people - whatever you call it. You will find someone you can completely trust, and you know only loves you. Frankly, if you're waiting, and find someone else who is, the chances of that are reduced significantly, because they value sex only in committed, married relationships.
  11. Beautifully put. It's tough - it took me a couple years to know true forgiveness and compassion like that. You will be the first real time. And you will rock. his. world.
  12. This is so important. It's easy to make sweeping generalizations, saying "Well, you lost your virginity, so you're toast!", or "You're always a virgin". Who the person is, matters. I'm always a huge proponent of making sure important moral values align in a relationship, including waiting. All this forgiveness doesn't work if your partner doesn't want it, and doesn't care for waiting. I had a nearly year-long relationship which ended about two years ago. And she said she understood why waiting is valuable, and was waiting with me. But I knew, deep down, it wasn't really important to her, and to this day, I believe that's why I could not get over her history. For someone to exist as if their past is distant from their current selves, they need to wish it to be so.
  13. Perhaps, in some ways, even more special. If a virgin partner lets their non-virgin partner start over, then the sexual intimacy will not be a sign of love and affection, but also of acceptance. The virgin is saying that the past does not matter, and both can be in the present moment, being who they want to be, with who they want to be that person with, The more I understand the non-virgin waiter, I feel heartbreak. I imagine being in their situation, and while I could come off strong and confident, it would crush me. That's shaped a lot of who I am now, and how I deal with dating non-virgins. I don't feel jealousy, I feel blessed. And I see myself as a capable of providing them acceptance and unconditional love. It can make such a difference.
  14. I want to give a shout to Queen, who always speaks with such wisdom, no matter the topic. But obviously, this one hits home a little more, so her wisdom shines through even more. There are two things that I would really like to add to this discussion. The first is regarding the fairness of it all. I used to think this way all the time - "If I waited, and they didn't, what was the point of waiting?" - and, I won't lie, those feelings occur to me at times. But then it really warrants careful reflection and evaluation of your beliefs: Why are you waiting? Are you waiting because of what you get out of it? I always said I was waiting because it was respectful. And so, when I found someone else didn't wait for me like I did for them, I felt disrespected, and got angry. But if I'm waiting for THEIR sake, shouldn't that be enough? Waiting is noble, selfless, respectful. And knowing you're saving yourself to give more to your partner should be reward enough. (I've learned all this from my own experiences.) The second is regarding the partner's mindset. I've spoken to some of the nonvirgin waiters here in depth about their experiences, one in particular (she knows who she is - and she is amazing). I had a lengthy discussion with her, and it was quite insightful. I asked her about her preference for a partner in terms of history - would she rather one who is sexually experienced, a virgin, or maybe she has no preference at all? What she told me was very eye-opening, and spurred further discussion - while acknowledging she can't adamantly stick to her preference for fear of hypocrisy, SHE WOULD PREFER A VIRGIN MAN! So, that raised some interesting questions in my head: Why would someone who has experience particularly want a virgin man? If she'd already had sex, and experienced "the wonders of all it is" (which, for many people, especially women, is way off - you'd be surprised how many don't look upon their sexual experience as anything particularly good), why would she rather be with someone who is "innocent" in that regard? Is it some kind of sick fantasy to have power over a partner? Or does it speak to how they view themselves? This woman was one example of a theme I see recurring more often - if someone regrets their sexual past, is it farfetched to think they'd want to start over? I offered her my insights, and asked for her to comment - say what I got wrong, got right, etc. What we discovered was that she wants a virgin because, for all intents and purposes, she FEELS like a virgin. She has, in her mind, started over. While she can acknowledge that her experience is real, it almost doesn't feel that way - it feels very distant from who she is. The next time she makes love to someone, it will not be "the best" - it will be just as it would be if it were "the first". Because that's where her mind is. She's started over. Not everyone who has sexual experience wants to start over. But if someone regrets their past, and is now waiting until marriage, chances are they wish the could start over. However, many men and women, while they want to start over, feel they can't, because of bitter virgins like us saying "IT'S NOT FAIR!!! WE ACTUALLY WAITED, YOU DIDN'T!!!" Yeah, imagine trying to start over and being told you can't. Eventually, you accept it as truth. Queen mentioned how "down there" literally changes to more of a virgin-like state - so does the mind. Whether you believe in God's transformation of the spirit, or simply fundamental cognitive changes, it happens. It's real. This is not meant to only be advice, but also comforting insight. If someone has had sex, they can't change it. And as Queen has pointed out, it can come with pain, remorse, hurt. That kind of emotion reminds someone that they can't become anyone new, that their past has etched their destiny in stone. But it's not fair, and not true. If any of us LUCKY virgins made a mistake, we would want to know we could start over and live according to our values. But if you let them start over, be who they ARE NOW... There won't be that clear-cut virgin/non-virgin distinction. It's all in the mind - that's what's important. If you want those fears of comparison, that jealousy, the consequences of their experience, to be gone, let them be bygones. Let them start over. And you will, as far as their experience of it is concerned, will be their REAL first. I know this all sounds crazy, but it's real. It's that good. Trust me. I didn't give that opportunity to my last girlfriend. Now that I started seeing someone who has experience, and does not look upon it particularly positively (an understatement, for certain), I plan to let her start over and be who she wants to be. If I do so, we may marry, and I'll rock her psychologically-virgin world in the future. Good luck. Anyone who wants to talk about this further, please feel free to talk with me. It's important we realize how important all this is.
  15. You sicko... I think that's illegal...