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Everything posted by ChristianMan72

  1. Good and bad places to try to approach a woman...

    Mirage, I get your viewpoint, I'm a very private person myself, but if you found my FB profile e.g. without being a friend, you'd probably at least gather that I am single and probably a Christian. I don't even know that about this young lady. And, she only seems to show up in a class that I'm in every 6 weeks or so. (And I am aware that this site isn't just for Christians, so don't take my comments as trying force my view on anyone.) And I probably have a better chance of making a good impression in writing than I do in person. I'm not unattractive, just not a great social communicator with people I don't have actual reason to talk to. Yes, I've said hi, commented awkwardly on the class, or in the hallway as we passed. I know she knows I have at least a curiosity about her. She doesn't usually hang around after class, but most of the women don't, single or otherwise. Which I must say, is a very effective way of avoiding contact for a woman - being occupied or scheduled enough or even just shy enough to make a beeline for the parking lot the minute classes end is certainly effective. I'm not tied up in knots over this, I've been noticing people from a distance my whole life. I'm more conservative than most, but sincerely so, not radically, I won't tell you that I'm a Christian or even talk politics unless you ask or make a leading comment first. She strikes me as being a bit awkward herself. Why? Because most of the people in a class are trying to do well, but it isn't that important to them to be great at it, not to miss a beat, to focus in every class like it was the Olympics. That defines myself to some extent, and her even more. So I'm guessing that she might be as scared of interaction as I am, and that is why I'm hesitant to be too bold. But yes, she's probably not as fragile as I imagine. For those who don't do the gym group fitness / exercise class thing regularly (beware, it is addictive!) it takes a very long time, many months, for most women, married or otherwise to accept an unknown, single, unattached guy who is 30+ as not being a threat or a player, perhaps because the classes are often heavily skewed toward female participation. I think most men either don't want to risk being bested by the women in a class, are concerned that aerobic class isn't manly enough, or would rather pump iron and talk sports with the other guys. Risking that little bit of hard-earned 'trust' by approaching women openly in class (in my subjective opinion) is a risk. It would probably be different in an NYC gym or some other city, but this is a suburban, family gym. Forgive my long soliloquies, I really do appreciate everyone's input.
  2. Good and bad places to try to approach a woman...

    Thanks a million for the advice. I am more socially awkward than average, and I don't want to come off badly. Also, I really don't want to do something that makes someone like this not want to come back to the class when I'm there. I'm not in a rush, but was thinking I would have to take bigger steps than are probably necessary. If she flees after a casual comment or two, I'll leave it be, it's just an interest. As for FB and stalking, there is a middle ground. As many bloggers have suggested, the whole fun of FB is to dig around in your friends and acquaintances profiles for things that interest you, and follow what they say and do. It's human nature to be curious to some extent. And it's not just friends. Prospective employers stalk both FB and Twitter, and whatever else they can find online about you. I'm not going to follow someone around the gym or around town, THAT would be creepy. But if I can find out what someone believes / doesn't believe, whether they already have someone they are seeing and whatever else they leave open to the public, that is sort of like asking mutual friends about someone. And of course, there are sites like which are not really 'dating' sites, but are where people share about themselves the things they want others to be able to find out. Anyway, I hope this doesn't make y'all think I'm creepy, because I'm not, just socially awkward, and very selective who I communicate with. :-)
  3. Good and bad places to try to approach a woman...

    What I would prefer is to find her on FB and learn more first. But I have to talk to her to get her name. Would you ask for a lady's FB or would you give them your name and ask them to look you up? What do I talk about? "Hey, you are really good at abc." Or maybe "do you think the NSA is listening to our conversation?"
  4. Too Late Didn't Wait...Starting Over

    You need to be wise and avoid those situations. And pray, for when you connect with God, you will find that place of strength and contentment to wait. Don't sit around thinking about it all the time either. And, if you both feel after prayer and consideration that you are meant for each other, then don't wait too long to get married, that doesn't prove anything. But you do have to plan ahead regarding work and home life, etc. Once I am certain of a woman, should that day come, I'm not planning to set a long engagement, but relatively short. That is if it doesn't scare me half to death first.
  5. New member says hi...

    I'm here, looking around, and open to chat or discussion. :-). Nice to be among similarly minded people.
  6. I'll put in 2 cents. As a long-time virgin, I've always thought that it would be best to marry a virgin, and that's still as much the plan as you can plan such a thing. But I also know some re-virgins who e.g. have a child, and as a single parent realized that waiting is the way. Human nature is to think "well, done it once, why not continue" so I applaud anyone who realizes the mistake and chooses God. And I don't know how some people go to church, claim Christianity, but think God doesn't mind how they live as long as they sorta say sorry once in a while... but that's off topic. I do think it is off-putting to think of your fiance/spouse having been with someone else, or comparing you to someone else. But if the person has repented and truly CHANGED before God, forgiveness is a powerful thing. I would probably feel OK being the forgiver, but it would also depend on the individual's story, e.g. a short mistake vs. years of intimate relationships...
  7. New member says hi...

    By percentage, that's a lot of welcomes considering the number of members in total... thank you!
  8. Virginity in the USA

    Waiting is the right thing to do. It isn't impossible, I've waited 40 years. It hasn't always been easy, but I haven't found the right one yet.