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Everything posted by ChristianMan72

  1. WTM Podcast: Episode 2

    Enjoyed that, good discussion of the inane anti-WTM arguments. Yes to accents (though I haven't watched the next podcasts yet). I'll think about some questions or discussion topics, hmmm.
  2. No, absolutely not, unacceptable! I spend enough my time solving/fixing problems, whether real or technical for others. I'd love to have someone else fixing things too. Almost sounds romantic. Just don't install a shelf or a chandelier so low that I keep running into it.
  3. Girl talking first or making the first move.

    If she doesn't give some real encouragement, it'll probably never happen for me. I try to create opportunities, small swatches of conversation and of course to always be pleasant. My brain always calculates too many downsides to being more direct than that.
  4. Half full or half empty?

    You really have to know the history of the glass. If it was full, and someone drank or poured out half, then it is half-empty. If someone only poured a half glass to start with, then it is half-full.
  5. controlling yourself

    For the believer, there isn't a temptation greater than you can deal with. There will always be a way to escape it. And even for those who don't believe, saying that single guys have 'needs' that they have to be allowed to use a woman to 'meet' is hogwash. And it is 'using' her, even if she is in turn 'using' him.
  6. How it would be possible to love a spouse as much as or more than your own soul, and be willing to lay down your life for him/her, yet be completely accepting of the fact that in the end, as an unbeliever, your SO will be eternally separated from you and from God and from anything good. It should tear your heart out. And the same goes for your children. So if this is were the case, I would have to conclude that you either don't really love your spouse/children THAT much, or you don't really believe THAT much.
  7. 1.Painting their room: Depends on age, but if they are mature enough to make a reasoned choice and it isn't black or some harsh color because they want to identify as goth or something like that, it would be OK. Might be fun to do together. 2. Trying to identify as gay or trans: Not in my house. I believe those are lusts, not lifestyles. 3. Meds for ADD or Depression, etc.: With a doctor's input, I would be most willing to consider them, but with care. However I have known people before and after going onto prescribed pills for depression, bipolar, etc., and their daily lives are so much better for it, that I am convinced that 'mental' illness is very often physically induced, and should in many cases be treated like any other disease. 4. Changing religion: Not in my house. There's a lot one could say, but in a nutshell - John 14:6 Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."
  8. Is "sex only within marriage" an idol?

    Anything can be an idol if you put it way up on a pedestal. Purity and WTM does become more important as a concept than as an act of obedience for some people. But it is not something to worship, it is a means to an end, purity of mind and body is something we are called to follow all of our lives, it is just a little different before marriage than after. On the other hand, sex is put on a pedestal by a lot of people, and it is especially hard for those of us WTM to keep it in perspective while single. I once saw a vehicle sticker that said "Sex is like air - it is only important if you are not getting enough of it." While I don't agree with the casual air of the comparison, I sometimes think about that and remind myself that as great as it sounds from the WTM side, sex is just a simple (hopefully wonderful) part of life for those who are happily married, but not the great goal that hormones and the media would have us think. I will value the love of a spouse much more than the sex that is only one of the ways to express that love.
  9. Being called beautiful?

    Some people get away with this, or maybe they don't think it means anything, but I don't go around commenting to women on how they look. If it isn't a sincere compliment, then it seems like idle talk to me. And if it is a sincere compliment, it would be after getting to know someone well enough for it to mean something.
  10. Liked this. A quote... “You can’t get second things by putting them first. You get second things only by putting first things first.†God is the first thing, our relationship with Him the first principle to address in life. C.S. Lewis expounds this point further in a separate essay, reminding us “Put first things first and we get second things thrown in: put second things first and we lose both first and second things. We never get, say, even the sensual pleasure of food at its best when we are being greedy.†If we don’t put God first, we lose the second things.
  11. Should Men Give Up Porn?

    This post and some of the comments are quite interesting on this topic:
  12. Just thought I'd introduce myself

    What, no rodentia, reptilia or lagomorpha? But who am I to be talking, right now I don't even have a goldfish. The sugar gliders sound like an interesting pet though.
  13. Birth control/condoms as a married man or woman

    I was thinking more along the lines of Zulu, so it would be something like "nyama kwa nyama". Francois would likely be able to confirm the Afrikaans phrase.
  14. Speak for yourself, sir, I can't confirm that for you...
  15. Birth control/condoms as a married man or woman

    I've heard of it being called 'meat-to-meat' by some people in Africa...
  16. Birth control/condoms as a married man or woman

    The woman's story of lost faith is unfortunate, but not uncommon (it reminds me of another recent thread here referring to the blog of a woman who couldn't get over losing her virginity after she was married). She believed what she was taught and raised to believe, but never dug deep enough to make the connection to the spirit of the matter. Then she got to college and surprise, surprise, encountered alternative viewpoints with compelling arguments. And then she turned her back on it all. She needed to understand that for those who believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong, handing out condoms to single guys and putting the single women on the pill is like throwing in the towel. It is like handing out packs of cigarettes and matches to rebellious teens and saying "don't ever smoke, but just in case these are low tar". Before you take offense, note that I'm talking about pushing contraceptives on single people. Contraception in marriage is not something I have had need to figure out yet (though I do sincerely hope I am faced with that question one day). Whether or not to use which contraceptives in a marriage is between a woman and her husband and God. The blogger speaks disdainfully of people wanting to 'control sex' more than they want to stop abortions, but it really is the same thing. Abstinence is the only 100% effective birth control for singles. She takes the argument that after sex, women also naturally end up with some percentage of fertilized eggs that don't implant and die, implying that we should not feel bad about knocking off more by choice with pills or devices. But that is not necessarily the right way to look at it, because while the fertilized eggs that die naturally are out of your control, the ones that die because of a medical choice you made are within your control. Sometimes women miscarry for natural reasons or reasons unknown, but that doesn't (in my opinion) justify the choice to abort.
  17. Birth control/condoms as a married man or woman

    I haven't studied all the details, but it is theorized that an IUD doesn't just kill the sperm and eggs before they can join, but also kills fertilized eggs before/when they try to implant. And since a fertilized egg can begin to develop into a child outside of the uterus, it stands to reason that a fertilized egg could be considered conception. So that is why some people are cautious about IUD's and like to find ways to avoid using them.
  18. Someone that is always there. Someone to talk with. Someone to do things with. Someone to travel with and share the things I have already seen with, as well as new things. Someone to spoil from time to time. Someone to care about everything about (not great English, but it means what it means).
  19. What do you do for work?

    Technical Creative, most digital mediums. Sometimes I miss photography, where I started. Hard to believe we didn't have instant review, and actually used to have to wait to get our film developed before we knew what photos we had to work with. Now they're pushing e.g. 4K video cameras that make HD look low-res, but having all of that resolution to work with gives a lot more options when editing.
  20. No, you're not the only one. And not because I have anything against kids, e.g. adoption is cool. But it also depends on what my (still theoretical) better half wants.
  21. Honeymoon baby?!

    Uh oh. Are you telling me that sex can cause babies? Whatever happened to calling in the stork? Seriously, I have always hoped to wait a couple years or so... but as for most things in a marriage, that would be a joint decision so I can't say for sure.
  22. To me, it doesn't sound like she ever really sought to learn about God and to know Him personally. It sounds like she never got past her 10-year old mentality. Christians are expected to move past being newborns and to mature in their understanding and walk with Christ. If the only thing spiritual she ever really profoundly identified with was her purity pledge... That is why single people ask questions on a site like this, or read books about marriage and sex. Because they want to have a healthy attitude toward it and neither be prudes nor profligates, but balanced while remaining pure. And I should agree with a response to the second article that pointed out that someone who didn't learn the right way, who made sexual mistakes, and one day chose to embrace purity in Christ - that person becomes pure in God's eyes and should also be in their spouse's eyes and in the eyes of those around them. We're not talking about someone who made a conscious choice to rebel against what they were taught, but someone who didn't learn better and fell into something misguided. There is a difference between accidental sin and the sin of someone who rejects the ways of God.
  23. birthday gift for men w/o sending wrong message

    Any gift will signal some interest, but something carefully selected and thought out, like a watch or wallet or cologne etc. will signal more interest. A gift-card that comes with a card and envelope would probably be less personal, in my opinion. Maybe tell him it is thanks for the meals he's sprung for. Add a 'hallmark' birthday card to show more interest. The question of trustworthiness doesn't bode particularly well. But I guess you need to figure out if you don't trust him from your own general experience, or if you have good reason to. And if it is just a gut feeling, then your gut is probably right. If you are just friends hanging out, then you can wait and see. If he wants to be more than friends but he's doing things like checking out other women when you are together...
  24. What is Christian love?

    That is an amazing article, thanks for the link. The move to redefine Christianity as something like "Love and ACCEPT everyone regardless" has nothing to do with Christ. People forget that Jesus said He did not come to bring peace on Earth... Luke 12: 49 “I have come to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! But I have a baptism to undergo, and what constraint I am under until it is completed! Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division. From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.†This speaks about families being divided into believers and unbelievers, and elsewhere, it teaches that we should be separate from them. If we are instructed not to water down our beliefs because it might offend and divide out family members, clearly we do not need to become the proverbial Christian doormat for everyone else. The 'accept and tolerate everyone Christians' do become spineless and powerless and lack God's full deliverance in their lives. Ironically, this powerlessness is what makes some observers dismiss Christianity, so it really doesn't help no matter how you look at it. Christ doesn't want 'lukewarm' followers, ones who follow just enough to think they can take the name 'Christian', but don't want to judge anything around them as wrong. He would rather people be cold or hot. Why? Those who are cold (not Christians yet) still have the opportunity to learn about Christ. But lukewarm ones think they are right and usually won't hear anything more, they just stay in their muddle. Being a true Christian isn't being arrogant or unloving. True Christians have humility, and real love and compassion for every soul, they love the sinner and hate the sin. But they believe and obey the instruction not to accept unrepentant, repeated sin in someone that calls themselves a brother/sister in Christ. As for evangelizing, there is no need to thump the Bible in everyone's face, we don't need to try to evangelize everyone we meet or work with or go around threatening hell - those who want to know more about Christ will see it and seek it and ask. (But there is no need to take offense when a Christian writing to Christians speaks of things like hell; we write of it because we believe in it, not to threaten.) [And while elsewhere I would generally not go into such scriptural detail, this is the Religious Topics forum. I don't write these things because of any hatred or a desire to condemn anyone. I write them because I want to share what I have learned and believe and encourage others.]
  25. Sibling Loyalty

    Right, I know, I broadened the topic, my bad. I think that in the spirit of this, though, the Bible says not to marry a step-daughter, not just because it is another rule, but because it is creating confusion (and in some cases, probably oppressive). So I think any relationship that falls into the category of creating family confusion, especially if there was intimacy or marriage involved, should be avoided. Even if it is over.