GoingToMakeIt

I said this elsewhere on the forum, but I definitely think that being a waiter is something that should be brought up fairly early in a relationship. Doing so allows for a discussion of whether or not the two people are compatible on this value, boundaries, and other related issues. Putting it off until things "get serious" runs the risk of having boundaries pushed or having gotten somewhat serious with a person for whom waiting until marriage for sex is unfathomable, which is unfair to them because they will have likely pursued you with the assumption that it was something on the table; every person should have the opportunity to make an informed decision about whether or not to pursue someone, regardless of their views, choices, or convictions.

I definitely agree with others who have said that this is something that should be brought up fairly early in a relationship. Doing so allows for a discussion of whether or not the two people are compatible on this value, boundaries, and other related issues. Putting it off until things "get serious" runs the risk of having boundaries pushed or having gotten somewhat serious with a person for whom waiting until marriage for sex is unfathomable, which is unfair to them because they will have likely pursued you with the assumption that it was something on the table; every person should have the opportunity to make an informed decision about whether or not to pursue someone, regardless of their views, choices, or convictions.

Me.

I am already my ideal guy.

"Has Porn Ruined Our Sex Lives Forever?" http://forums.waitingtillmarriage.org/topic/4754-has-porn-ruined-our-sex-lives-forever/

Well, if each person were to bring along this questionnaire, it would help them decide whether or not to continue moving forward early on and give them something to do at first instead of making awkward conversation.

Ugh, more virgins.

(I posted this in the Ask The Girls section (link), but I thought I'd try it here as well to get a broader range of responses) Society at large, at least here in the USA, doesn't really promote waiting anymore. Abstinence is generally seen as being old-fashioned and relegated only to those who are extremely religious or prudish or those who cannot find willing partners. There are studies around about how a large portion of women admitted that they would wonder if something was wrong with a man who was still a virgin past the age of 25 or so. Given all of that, I don't really see why a female non-waiter should respect a male waiter or find his abstinence admirable. It's a conversation that's come up for me more frequently lately for various reasons and I've been absolutely shocked to have my abstinence met with great respect and admiration by non-waiting females (side note: I actually am not regularly around any female waiters). I can certainly see the appeal of an abstinent man to a female who is also abstinent, but I cannot at all understand why a man's abstinence is respectable to a non-waiting female (assuming there's no element of the female wanting to be the male's first time, which doesn't seem to be the case in my interactions). Maybe you all can help me understand this?

While I certainly disagree with the decision to have any sexual activity outside of marriage, the reasoning presented in the title of the thread is logically fallacious. It would be like reasoning that since a person has committed some sort of crime, say an illegal download, that the might as well stop attempting to abide by any laws. If you wouldn't accept that reasoning in a scenario like that, then there's no reason to accept that reasoning when it comes to sexual activity.

Society at large, at least here in the USA, doesn't really promote waiting anymore. Abstinence is generally seen as being old-fashioned and relegated only to those who are extremely religious or prudish or those who cannot find willing partners. There are studies around about how a large portion of women admitted that they would wonder if something was wrong with a man who was still a virgin past the age of 25 or so. Given all of that, I don't really see why a female non-waiter should respect a male waiter or find his abstinence admirable. It's a conversation that's come up for me more frequently lately for various reasons and I've been absolutely shocked to have my abstinence met with great respect and admiration by non-waiting females (side note: I actually am not regularly around any female waiters). I can certainly see the appeal of an abstinent man to a female who is also abstinent, but I cannot at all understand why a man's abstinence is respectable to a non-waiting female (assuming there's no element of the female wanting to be the male's first time, which doesn't seem to be the case in my interactions). Maybe you all can help me understand this?

Hello, everyone. 24-year-old male waiter here. I have a lot of experience having the types of conversations that take place here in my offline life, so I figured I'd start participating in the community here. Looking forward to interacting with you all.