Samantha

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About Samantha

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    United States
  • Interests
    ACTING! SINGING! DANCING! I don't drink or do drugs, period. Alcohol is yucky. To me, anyways. I'm a pretty vanilla kind of girl. I do love clubbing though! But I don't drink or dance with strangers. I'm pretty much a prude, and proud of it. I'm pro equal marriage rights and basically a liberal. For some reason, I've always fallen for blonde boys. Haven't met one who feels the same way yet.

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  1. Boy "Virgin"

    Just an update, in case anyone is wondering. So, our friendship is still going great. As I think I mentioned, I told him how I felt. And, as I suspected, he already knew. I told him to kill that last shred of hope and reject me flat out. He did, well, mostly. But, anyways. Today I was telling him that it would be horrible if he married a woman someday and had sex with man on the side. And he was like, that would be one of the worst things I could do. I don't think he's ready to admit his sexuality just yet, but he did tell me all about the cute boy he was texting. His eyes were totally in thinking about that special someone as he texted. He, of course, doesn't want anyone to know. He even had a hard time telling me. But he has agreed to help me stop being in love with him (I don't ever want to stop loving him the way I love my other friends, he's one of the most important people in my life and will always be) and I will help him come to accept that it doesn't matter who he likes, all that matters is he's happy. Thank you guys for helping me with this. My relationship with "John" isn't perfect, but it's the best it's ever been. I know it's hard for you guys to understand why he's not a jerk from the way I talk about him, but trust me, he's not. He's my hero, which isn't to say he's perfect. He's FAR from perfect and he drives me insane. But I finally had the courage to say how I felt because I knew it was time to let him reject me formally. And honestly, our friendship was awkward for only, like five minutes afterwards, and now it's better than ever. Also, let me just say, it's nice liking a boy (while it lasts, I do want to get over him ASAP) that has no sexual interest in me as I know he is never going to try to get into my pants. But he still gets a friend who really cares about him, and I get to spend time with the person who matters most to me right now. Plus, he's really good to look at. Blue eyes, blonde hair. Eye candy. Model looks. Not even kidding. And he sings Taylor Swift with me...so...#BestBoySpaceFriendEver
  2. Boy "Virgin"

    yep! I did it yesterday.
  3. Boy "Virgin"

    he's def dishonest. but he's not sketchy. but his morals? he has to improve on that. you're right, it is HIS life. but, he's basically part of my family now. and you don't stop loving family just because they do bad things. ultimately, I told him to shape up and he said that I should tell him that more often. he knows I take good care of him and he wants me to stick up for myself and he knows I have his best interests at heart. I like where are friendship is headed. It's not romantic, and I'm good with that. We're family friends, and that's what I want.
  4. Boy "Virgin"

    oops. I meant to type for his roommate. his roommate is a girl named "Hannah" and she has a boyfriend. But he has huge crush on her. Wish is why he lives with her. but yeah. I said what I said I was gonna say and told him how I feel. so. yeah. I think he gets it now. and thank you all for your advice everyone. I have dealt with it and now it's done. not our friendship, but everything has been said and I'm happy to continue on as friends.
  5. Boy "Virgin"

    Also, what you quoted here was in response, I believe, to your suggestion to let him come to terms with it in his own time. I was trying to explain why I think that isn't a viable solution if my goal (which it is) for him is to be happy.
  6. Boy "Virgin"

    Haha, no he doesn't wear condoms all the time. But now that I've been chastising him, hopefully, that will change. If you go back, you can see I conceded already that you were correct on this point. I'm autistic, so I don't always know how to judge situations. But that's why I asked.
  7. Boy "Virgin"

    I know! I would NEVER have sex with a women. But also, sex is sex. If he truly believes in waiting, he wouldn't have sex at all. That's another good part of the argument. Clearly, he's not actually waiting, which is why I put it in quotes. So, if he's not sleeping with women not because he's waiting, then he should own up to there being another reason.
  8. Boy "Virgin"

    Okay. You're right. And I wasn't suggesting he use it as therapy. I just...well, anyways. So you guys have answered that question. I shouldn't tell him to go have sex with a woman. But is there a way I can tell him that I think he's gay without hurting his feelings? Men, let me practice on you. So, in his case, we know he is gay, but just be yourselves and imagine how you would react if a close friend told you the following: "John. I really care about you, and I know you know that. First and foremost, I want you to be happy and healthy. Since the day I met you, I thought you were gay. I'm not trying to project a sexuality on you, but the thing is, I know you really well. And I just know, like, deep down, like, I'm almost positive that you are gay. I'm not trying to say you're not attracted to women sometimes, but the thing is John, you are only having sex with men. I think you're using waiting as an excuse for why you're not having sex with women. It's not that it isn't possible for a person to have sex just for the sake of sex, but I don't think that's the case with you. I think, and you've told me so yourself, that you really, really, really don't want to be gay. I don't blame you. There's nothing wrong with being gay, but it comes with a lot of stigma and hardship. It would make your life more difficult. But if you go on pretending to be something you're not, you're never going to allow yourself to fall in love with someone who can you make happy." Basically, men, I want a way to say this or something like it without offending his masculinity. I think a large part of it is that he doesn't realize he can be gay and still be masculine.
  9. Boy "Virgin"

    But I don't think he ever will. I could say nothing, and I'm almost positive he'll end up marrying some woman and never falling in love. Yes, I don't make his choices and I don't want to. But I also don't want him to deny himself the person that would make him happy because of their gender.
  10. Boy "Virgin"

    I guess cause I'm scared to. I've tried to before and he just gets defensive. I was thinking that if he tried to have sex with a woman, he wouldn't be able to go through with it. It's just, I'm worried he'll think I'm trying to tell him who he is. Or that he'll get mad at me. I want a way to teach him the truth without him "killing the messenger", seeing as if I tell him, I'll be that messenger.
  11. Boy "Virgin"

    I don't know. He keeps telling himself it's only about the sex. And I'm not in his head. All I know is that my gaydar went off the first time I met him. That he has slept with men, and may or may not have slept with a few women (he's constantly changing his story on this part). That, even though he had feelings for a girl sophomore year and she returned them, he did nothing about it. He had a secret boyfriend junior year, and I thought that was a bigger indicator, but he says it was just experimentation. At the end of the day, he doesn't want to be gay. You're right, his actions speak louder than his words. But what I would like help with (especially from men who might have a better understanding of what would offend them) is how to tell him that he is gay. Like, really, he needs help coming out.
  12. Boy "Virgin"

    In my opinion, yes. But I think he has a high preference for men. It's hard to say since he is constantly changing his story. But what people don't seem to understand is that he's not taking advantage of me, he doesn't want to date me. The fact that he keeps lying about it comes from his own insecurities about his sexuality.
  13. Boy "Virgin"

    How? I understand what you're saying, because he's using "waiting" as an excuse, he is never forced to confront the issue.
  14. Boy "Virgin"

    The reason I'm not 100% sure is he does have a super huge thing for his girlfriend (oops, that's not what I wanted to type) female roommate. But honestly, I think while he's capable of liking girls romantically, I don't think he is physically. I just don't want him to wait for marriage to figure that out. I'm not suggesting he go out and have sex with a girl who values sex and is a waiter, I meant sex with a girl who doesn't value it. He's not fooling me as much as he is fooling himself. I'm sorry if I've bothered you asking about it multiple times. But in my mind, at least, they're separate issues. I asked this site to give opinons on whether or not he's gay. The verdict? He is. Then I asked for suggestions on how to get over him quicker, and I appreciated that people took the time to answer both questions. Ultimately, I think in order to get over him, I'm going to have him tell me to my face he doesn't ever see us together. I'm holding on to that last .0000001% chance and I need him to kill it. Here, I've established he's gay (or mostly gay, like 90% interested in men, 10% interested in women, but regardless, 0.0000001% interested in me and 99.999999% not interested in me) but I'm asking how to help him come to terms with his sexuality. Not for MY sake, but for his. Because I'm pretty sure, because I know him so well, that if somebody doesn't intervene, he'll be in denial his whole life.
  15. Boy "Virgin"

    Guys, guys, guys. I don't doubt he's gay. That's not the issue. It's that I'm trying to figure out a way to get him to accept himself. He's lying to me, point blank. Same as he's lying to himself. I think if he tried to sleep with a girl, he would not succeed. Like, he wouldn't be able to go through with it because he wouldn't get hard. I think that might prove it to him more than anything. And there are plenty of girls (NOT ME) who would be willing to sleep with him, but the point is...idk...do people have better ideas? The thing is, the path he's heading down? It's getting married to a girl and denying he's gay his whole life. I'm trying to teach him to accept himself but I'm not sure how.