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Everything posted by Zeke

  1. I joined back in 2012 and have been off and on active. Some of my best friends I have met on this site. I love you all. I am greatly saddened to learn this site is going away, but I hope that the community and spirit will go on with another site or platform.
  2. How is this Site STILL standing?

    Hello everybody, Long time no see. I have been absent a couple years and just checked back in here to find out the site is so quiet...such sadness. I hope everyone is well. I've not been an admin on this site, but I'd be happy to help out with it or a Facebook page, if needed. I am not computer savvy, though. Long time no see, Vince -- glad to see you are still around. I hope Mike is okay. I don't know if anyone will ever read this post, but if you do, I'm glad you're here.

    Before I found this site several years ago, I did not know there were women voluntarily waiting until marriage. So I can understand the feeling. I was raised on a farm in Kansas and my family regularly attended church at a conservative Lutheran congregation. Studying Scripture and working hard throughout the year on our farm or a neighbor's were big pieces of a childhood that allowed me to grow up with Biblical morals, traditional family values, and a conservative outlook on the world where a strong work ethic and a firmly grounded faith are instrumental to an independent and successful life. So by the time that I was mature enough physically to start having sexual desires that contradicted my morals, I was able to, by the grace of God, prevent myself from ever crossing that hard line drawn by my conscience that said to save sex for my wife and her alone. I never wavered from that desire to wait for marriage, but I did go through extreme struggles as a teenager that included many sins for which God in His grace has forgiven me. I also began to discover that society in its majority not only condoned uncommitted sexual relationships, but actually scoffed at people who wanted to wait for marriage. I really felt like I was born in the wrong generation, like a man out of his time. The sexual pressures and influences never made me want to give in and abandon my morals, but rather caused me to fall into waves of depression as the realization set in that my chances of finding a wife who shared my morals and values was slim. During one of my depressed periods, I went looking for some kind of online support group for people who were waiting until marriage to have sex. I found this site. Since I have been here, my desire to wait for marriage has expanded beyond personal morals and Biblical doctrine, to a deep desire to do this for my future wife. I want to be able to show her that I could wait for her even before I knew I would ever meet her, that she meant that much to me, and that I will love her and only her for as long as I live. And I want to be able to tell my future kids (if God should grant me any) that its not impossible to wait, and that doing so is the greatest gift that they will ever be able to give their own spouses. Waiting is not a burden that we must endure for the sake of our morals and consciences. It is a joy that will result in lasting happiness, and it is one that most people in the world will sadly never be able to experience. I am now living in Dallas, Texas, working in a career quite a bit different than the farm and country life that I've known for most of my life. I am not yet married, and I do get lonely. But I now know that even in a place as immoral as the college-aged crowd of the big city, it is not impossible to find people who share my values. They won't wear a sign on their forehead, but you will know them by their actions and lifestyles. I have a wonderful Lutheran church home down here with good friends my own age. I have a couple of really good friends also that I met on this site, whom I talk to regularly. I am 26 years old, I am a virgin, and I am still waiting. P.S. If you see my future wife, please tell her that I am almost there.
  4. How important is height?

    I have no preference when it comes to height. I am 6'3", so there are not a whole lot of women that I meet on a regular basis who are taller than I, but a woman's height, whether short or tall, is not going to affect how I feel about her on a personal level.
  5. Good Evening

    Glad to have you here, Chloe!
  6. Hello Again

    Welcome back! I had a few long periods of inactivity myself back a while. Glad to make your acquaintance.
  7. What offends you?

    I agree with Joseph -- texting when on a date or engaged in a conversation is a turnoff. If there is something urgent that requires your attention, we understand that. But if unnecessary texting/messaging is more important to you than spending time with us, we're going to lose interest in you. About the only other thing that would "offend" me is if you say something that is unjustly demeaning of a person, type of person, or group of people. It's one thing to have an opinion about someone and to voice frustrations with a certain type of people, but if you unjustly slander them in front of me, that is a major turnoff, even if I personally am not part of the group or type of people you are referencing. Just something to keep in mind. Other than that, there is not much that will "offend" me. I'm pretty easy going.
  8. Random Thoughts

    What if the future that Marty and Doc Brown went to is what our future was supposed to be, but our future is messed up because of something that got changed in the past?
  9. Thanks for sharing that article. When and how to tell someone serious that I'm waiting for marriage is something that has long concerned me. This article was refreshing to read, especially since I am a Lutheran just like the woman who wrote this article.
  10. Greetings from Asia

    Hi Kip! Thank you so much for your encouraging words! And welcome to the community.
  11. Finally, a safe haven...hopefully.

    Glad to have you here, sir!
  12. college

    Hi Rosemary. I know all too well the peer pressure of which you speak. A lot of us here on this site do. That is why we are here, so we can gain support from each other and know we are not alone. I hope you will find this same comfort here. Thank you for staying strong. You are an inspiration to us.
  13. Hi

    Hey Stella. Glad to have you here!
  14. I'm not going to speak for everyone, because I'm sure there are people who really can and do fall in love at first sight, but for me and people like me, it is not possible. Immediate attraction does happen, but love is something that must take root and grow over time. I have met many young women to whom I took an immediate liking or attraction, only to have my feelings decline or become stagnant after I actually get to know them. Likewise, I have met some women to whom I had little initial attraction, if any, but after becoming more acquainted, find them increasingly attractive and in rare cases exceedingly so. The things that cause love to begin in my heart are based on the qualities, beliefs, morals -- and of course, that unknown factor -- that make her her. In a true "first sight" scenario, these things are unknown to my heart, and so real love cannot form. Only attraction, either toward her beauty or the first impression of her personality, happens immediately for me.
  15. Hi! virgin newbie here

    Hey Sabrina. It's nice to meet you! I know very personally the emotional and physical struggles you speak of about waiting for marriage. We all struggle with them to some extent, some more than others. But reading your post I almost felt like I was reading something I wrote. Thank you for staying strong and finding us. We weren't complete without you!
  16. Greetings From Texas

    Glad to have you here!
  17. Hi!

    Glad to have you here, James! The number of Texans is slowly increasing.
  18. Appearance!

    Thank you for the encouragement.
  19. Appearance!

    I am very self conscious about my appearance, but it has nothing to do with guys in movies. When I was a kid I was kinda chubby. My brother used to call me "fatso". My grandpa (now passed away) also made fun of me. He once pointed out a kid in a restaurant and said "Zeke, look. He looks like you before you got fat." That memory still hurts when I think about it. I look back now, and in all honesty, I wasn't that heavy. I was chubby, but not obese. So later when I got older I stayed away from girls and I became more and more reserved and guarded (by the way, not only due to criticism of my weight, but that's another tale). I thought I wasn't attractive enough to be liked. By this time I was starting to realize that all the guys in movies who had girlfriends were "hot". I felt the need to hide my weight. I never took my shirt off even with just my family. I would hold a pillow on my lap if I had eaten a big supper. As a result of this and other things, I became very depressed. Fast forward to a few years ago and I dropped 30 lbs. I've kept the weight off, and I exercise more than I used to. But I still view myself as heavy. I feel like I'm inferior to other guys. I look around down here and all I see are muscled out guys with skinny girlfriends. Then I look at myself and see something that makes me depressed. This is with me in the best shape of my life. I feel extremely pressured to get "hot" before I seek a young woman because I feel like if I don't, I'll be rejected or laughed at. I don't mean that I think women only care about looks, I'm just saying that this is my fear that is a product of a lifetime of mockery and pressure. The other day while I was out running with a friend, he mentioned that I looked skinny. At first I thought he was just being a good friend, but now I think: Am I really that hard on myself? Am I the only one who thinks I look ugly? I honestly have no idea if I am attractive or not. I have never known what it's like to be considered attractive. I only know what it's like to be not good enough. So to answer the question: Yes, I and I'm sure a lot of other guys feel extremely pressured to be what the media considers attractive with abs and bulging biceps. But this is not always a result of media pressure. In my case, it started as a kid being made fun of. This is something I still struggle with.
  20. Hi Everyone

    Hey Alyssa. Glad you found us! You might be surprised how many of us are shy, quiet, and reserved. You can get to know a lot about us in the forums, so definitely check that out! I look forward to getting to know you.
  21. Jurassic World was the last film I saw in the theater. Tonight I watched Star Trek The Voyage Home. Love that movie.
  22. Random Thoughts

    I broke down and made cookies, but I ate so much cookie dough while making them that when they were done, I didn't want them anymore. :/
  23. When I was a kid, I fell out of a tree and broke my arm. You can still see where the bone pierced my skin. I've had many other injuries, but none that stick out in my mind as particularly severe. Guess I deal with physical pain a lot better than emotional pain.
  24. I've never had an honest crush on anyone, not yet... If I did end up really liking someone on here and she shared those feelings, yes, I would seriously consider a relationship. But as of yet, that has not happened. In all honesty, that's not what I was looking for when I came here and it's not what I'm looking for on here now. When I came to WTM, I was extremely depressed and felt very alone. I found this site while looking for some kind of waiter support group. But what I found is so much more. Are there wonderful young ladies on here? Yes. And I may find one for whom I develop feelings. But if that happens it is going to happen on its own. I'm not using this site as a dating venue. I'm using it for emotional and spiritual support. Love you guys!