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About emily1030

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 10/30/1990

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  • Gender
  • Location
    North Carolina
  • Interests
    I'm saving myself for three main reasons.

    God created sex for marriage and I want to experience it the way He intended.
    I want to give my future husband that gift he deserves.
    I want to share such an emotional experience with only one man.

    I have a wonderful fiancé who supports my decision and has joined me in this journey that he also believes is the way God intended.

    Finally being in the home stretch of this waiting journey, I'm so glad to be part of this community and encourage others to also save something so intimate for one special person.

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  1. Yep, I did a lot of research and I’m pretty sure it was some form of vaginismus. I found a lot of stories of other women who had it and got through it, so it was very comforting to hear. It really is treatable if you put the work in to learn to relax. I have a friend who is dealing with it as well and we’ve kind of been each other’s support/cheerleaders, haha.
  2. Ever since I was young, I thought only married people could have babies, and that transitioned into thinking only married people had sex when I learned what it was. Eventually I obviously discovered that not to be the case, but it was still sort of engrained in my brain. Then I read the book “Diary of a Teenage Girl: Becoming Me” by Melody Carlson, and it helped me to realize that waiting is a choice that you have to make and really commit to. That is when I decided that I would officially make that promise to myself and God. My parents never pushed me one way or another in my decision. In fact, sometimes I felt like my mom was surprised I wanted to wait. It was my decision and I’m so glad I stuck with it.
  3. He was 27 and I was 23 when we started dating. We were 30 and 26 when we got engaged. We were 31 and 27 when we got married.
  4. For some reason, I didn’t expect intercourse (the penetration part) to feel like anything. I guess I had always heard that women rarely could orgasm through penetration and to me, that equated in my brain to “well there must be no pleasure at all.” I figured just the men got the pleasure from that part. Luckily, I was mistaken! I also expected to feel very self conscious in front of my husband but that has not been the case at all. When you’re with your spouse who you’ve made vows with and you know they’ve promised their life to you, it’s such a natural and beautiful thing.
  5. For us, so far, the hardest part was getting to the point of having ACTUAL SEX. My body has a habit of tensing up in expectation of pain (which I knew coming into marriage because of various difficult gynecologist visits). Since we decided not to force things and just work on getting my muscles to relax, it took us 4 months before we achieved intercourse. I don’t hear about situations like that often, but that’s how it was for us. We were patient with the process and eventually my body learned to relax. While it was frustrating at times, it brought us even closer as we navigated the challenges. And we came out of it successful!
  6. How many…?

    Before I met my husband, I had dated one other person. But my relationship with my husband started out as a friendship. While we were friends, I briefly dated a few other guys and then when I realized I had feelings for him, I knew immediately that he was the one. It just all made sense. I knew when we started dating that he would be the one. I can’t describe why. I just knew, from our friendship, that we would be perfect and committed to each other from then on. Kind of magical I guess
  7. Birth control/condoms as a married man or woman

    Thanks! We actually just ordered that book a few days ago! We’re excited to learn!
  8. Birth control/condoms as a married man or woman

    I’m recently married. I had tried birth control years ago for acne. It didn’t help with acne and it messed me up emotionally and made me tired and dizzy. After more research, I decided I didn’t like the the idea of hormonal birth control on both a physical and emotional level. I appreciate knowing my body and I prefer not to mess with the natural cycle my natural hormones influence. Now that I’m married, we’ve been using condoms but they aren’t ideal. I’ve heard too many stories about the IUD that scare me. We are interested in studying Natural Family Planning and possibly trying it, especially when we are closer to being comfortable with a surprise pregnancy. I have a friend who has practiced NFP with her husband for 3 years successfully. I think if it is done correctly and the woman has a consistent cycle, it can be very successful.
  9. New relationship - how to tell him I'm waiting?

    This is a beautiful story! Thank you so much for sharing and congratulations! I am newly married (less than 2 months) and it was reassuring to hear you say that it takes time to “practice” and work things out. We both married as virgins and in our experience so far, it’s not like instant sex success. It takes awhile to figure it all out but it’s wonderful to go through that journey together with each other. It is sometimes hard to be patient with the process and not get discouraged. It’s important to laugh and enjoy the journey. I’m glad you brought it up because I’m sure many who are waiting until marriage expect instant “amazing sex.” That’s not always the case! Congrats again!
  10. @Invincible I totally get where you are coming from. If I felt like I needed to start trying to conceive right away, I would feel like I was missing out even more. But you said a few times that you won’t get to have much sex at all. I would think you could have lots of sex after your future wife recovers from delivery. You’ll still have your whole lives together And on the topic of being envious of others having so much sex earlier in life, I always tried to remind myself that at least I wasn’t having to deal with the grief they felt when they broke up with someone they were so intimate with. I’m glad to have those moments with only my husband who I know I will spend the rest of my life with. And thanks for the congrats!
  11. This is so true. I honestly didn’t find it that hard to wait because I didn’t have the mindset of sleeping around. But once I was in a serious relationship and specifically when I was engaged, it became pretty frustrating because we had already made the commitment in our hearts but we knew we still had to wait until we were married. The other hard part about waiting was just knowing that so many people I knew were out there having wonderful sex with their partners and I sometimes felt like I was wasting precious years when I could be enjoying it as well.
  12. Relational Comfort and Shaving Habits

    I fully believe in continuing to "date" your spouse. That means continuing to "woo" them even after you already "have them." I'm in a 3 year relationship and we are now very comfortable with each other. I still shave. I may not be as self conscious when I forget as I was when we first started dating. That's because I know a little thing like that won't scare him away. If I completely stopped shaving, would he stay with me? Yes. But I also know that he prefers when I do shave, so to me, that is enough reason for me to continue doing it. Because I love him and I like doing things that make him happy. Yes it is my body, but I know he cares and I want to keep our physical attraction to each other strong. A man can also choose to not romance his wife once he marries her. She may stay with him but will she miss those days? Absolutely. I believe he should continue to pursue her throughout the marriage. We make a commitment to each other in marriage that we won't break, but that doesn't mean we should stop reminding each other of why we made that commitment in the first place. Never stop dating each other!
  13. I thought i'd share this video. I think this woman does a wonderful job of sharing her reasons for waiting in a relevant, friendly way. I hope young women (and men) hear what she has to say and consider the option of waiting. The way she speaks about it is refreshing. Here is the YouTube video. The Truth about waiting to have Sex till Marriage
  14. Long Engagements

    I agree with you completely. The reason we chose such a long engagement was because we have to plan long distance. The wedding is in another state because thats where our families live. It takes time to make plans from such a distance. If this wasn't an issue, We'd have kept the engagement less than a year. At the same time, I wouldn't rush it SO much that it was just because we wanted to have sex as soon as possible. We have the entire rest of our lives for that. While its a super important part of a romantic relationship, this extra time we have now without it allows us to grow closer in other ways.
  15. Long Engagements

    My engagement will have been 16 months (9 to go! wooohoo!). I think of that as a somewhat long engagement. As someone who is waiting, it is very difficult, knowing we are so close, but yet still so far. Some days its harder than others. Looking back, it might have been nice to have a shorter engagement, but I'm trying to just enjoy every moment of this time in our lives. And the first 7 months really haven't taken THAT long.