I don't think he told me to make me feel bad. He doesn't seem like based on this post, but he's actually a nice guy (to me it seems that way). He isn't just looking for sex because there have been a few times that I almost caved and he stopped it. I think he just wanted to get it off his chest and he was worried if I ever found out that I would change my mind.
It wasn't all safe sex.. He used condoms with girls he hooked up with, but not for oral or in a relationship. He hasn't had an STD ever, but he hasn't been tested recently. He would if I asked. I would make him before we did anything. Before we met, he hadn't done anything with anyone for a year.
He's only done stuff with people that he knows. This is both good and bad. Good because if someone gave him something it would be easier to tell him and he knows that he hasn't gotten anyone pregnant (unless they aborted). But it sucks because he hangs out with people that he's fooled around with, done oral with and had sex with. He doesn't usually hang out with them (he's usually with guy friends), but it bothers me when he does. He's been way more intimate with them than he as with me and they know him better.
I don't think he would ever cheat on me if we got into a fight. Sometimes I do worry though when he's being distant or he's at a party. He has cheated in his past, a lot, but he hasn't cheated on me and didn't cheat on his last girlfriend (even though she cheated on him). He was still a teenager when he cheated, and immature. He feels really bad about it and gets upset sometimes. But him saying it would have been okay for him to hook up with people if we went on a short break, I hated that. It made me question everything. He has said that he wishes his number was lower. But has also said that if we broke up he would hook up with people to get over me, if there was anyone around he wanted to hook up with. So that doesn't make sense... He can't wish his number was lower, but still sleep around.
I don't think he would tell me if he didn't like my parts. I think he just wouldn't tell me that he did, you know? But I'm terrified that he'll compare our sex with all the sex he's had before. I don't even think he'd be able to help it... It's normal to compare things. I compare him to my ex's (he's far better). I wouldn't be as good as the girls who go around screwing everyone and know just what a guy likes. I have a lot of people to compare to and be better than... I don't want someone else to be better than me at pleasing him..
Out of the 9 girls he's had sex with, 6 of them were virgins. I asked. I also asked him if it would still be special with me, because he's already done it so many times. And he said it was a bit more special with them... He doesn't think it will be quite as special because he thinks waiting for so long will ruin it a little bit.
I asked him to always be honest with me, and to my knowledge he has. Even when he knows I won't like it. I love that about him and hate it at the same time.
It bothers me that if we have sex, I'll be putting him into the double digits (for sex). Part of me feels like that when we are married, I won't want to... like I'd feel gross or something. I feel gross when I think about the fact that we've made out and his face has been up in 14 women's privates. I want there to be something that is just ours, but there is nothing. He's done everything. Everything will be brand new for me, but old news for him. The only thing that he has never done is gotten off inside of a girl without a condom. I try and focus on that. But unless we were trying for a baby or I was pregnant, we wouldn't be doing that.
Part of the problem is that I live in (I swear) the most promiscuous area ever. Honestly, people except to see a Loch Ness Monster before they meet a virgin over 14. Kids in grade 6 are having sex, frequently. We started sex education in grade 5! Everyone thinks he is crazy for being with me and wonders why he is. I've dated 2 other guys before him and the first cheated on me tons of times (with my friends) and the other broke up with me because I was "different". I've had so many guys make fun of me and reject me because of it. So I feel like I want to hold on to the one guy that doesn't think I'm a freak.