proverbs35

Active Members
  • Content count

    9
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

13 Good

About proverbs35

  • Rank
    Newbie

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  1. The Bible & Wifely Submission

    @ Joshua: That's true, and it's absolutely beautiful when BOTH spouses are committed to God and each other and fulfill their marital obligations. I agree. The reverse is also true. Some virtuous wives have suffered through lives with sinful, disobedient husbands. Absolutely. I agree with you on that. To some in the Christian community, discussions about HOW a wife should respond (or not respond) to a sinful and/or foolish instruction given to her by her husband are "a waste of time." However, just because human beings consider a subject a waste of time doesn't mean that God considers that subject matter a waste of time. God is not classicist or discriminatory. God cares about the problems that only a few people face just as much as he cares about the problems that most people face. A good shepherd will leave the 99 sheep in the fold (the majority) to search and rescue the 1 (the minority) that got lost (Luke 18:12). I absolutely agree that "we MUST consider the entire counsel of God with issues (i.e. ALL of scripture). " ALL SCRIPTURE is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work" (2 Tim 3:16-17). Therefore, it's necessary to consider other examples in scripture that illustrate HOW subordinates should respond to commands from an authority that violate God's law (i.e. what the Bible defines as sin and/or foolishness). Wives, place yourselves under your husbands' authority as you have placed yourselves under the Lord's authority (Ep 5:22 GWT). Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord (Col 3:18). In a similar way, you wives must submit yourselves to your husbands so that, even if some of them refuse to obey the word, they may be won over without a word through your conduct as wives (1 Pe 3:1). The Bible specifically and emphatically teaches that wives should submit to their own husbands. However, wives should not obey commands given by their husbands (or any other human authority) that violate God's law (i.e. BIBLICALLY defined sin and/or foolishness). There are multiple examples of that in scripture: Abigail disobeyed her husband's foolish instructions. Abigail went behind Nabal's back and against his wishes and sent David and his men bread, water and meat. David thanked Abigail for staying his hand and repented of his own rash decision to slaughter Nabal and the men in his house(1 Samuel 25:32–34). Unlike Abigail, Sapphira was a foolish wife. She conspired with her husband and lied to the Holy Spirit. As a result, she followed her husband straight to an early grave. Although she was only doing what was generally considered a wife's duty by cooperating and agreeing with her husband, Sapphira received the very same punishment as Ananias. She didn't receive mercy because Ananias was the the head and she wasn't (Acts 5:1-11). According to a law established by the king, Esther's husband, no man or woman was suppose to approach the king in the inner court without being summoned. The penalty for approaching the king in the inner court without being summoned was death, unless the king decided to grant the person mercy (Es 4:11). Esther disobeyed that particular law. She risked her life by approaching the king in the inner court without being summoned in order to intercede for her people (Es 5:1). Long story short, Esther found favor with the king and was able to help save the Jews from annihilation.Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right (Ep 6:1). Col 3:20, Ex 20:12, De 5:16 Jonathan's disobeyed his father. He refused to comply with his father's plan to kill David (I Sam 19 & 20). Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God (Ro 13:1). 1 Pe 2:13-14 Jonathan's disobeyed his king. Jonathan refused to comply with the king's plan to kill David. Saul was Jonathan's father (parental authority) and king (governmental authority). I Sam 19 & 20. Nabal's servant went behind his back and informed Abigail about his decision to withhold bread, water and meat from David and his men. The servant obeyed Abigail rather than Nabal and took David and his men food and wine. The servant disobeyed Nabal's wishes. Nabal almost got himself and all the men in his house killed, but David spared Nabal's life and the lives of the men in his house because of what Abigail and the servant did (1 Sam 25). The king instructed the midwives to kill the newborn Hebrew boys, but the midwives refused to kill the infants. As a result, God was kind to the midwives gave them families of their own (Exodus 1:15-22). Then Pharaoh gave this order to all his people: “Every Hebrew boy that is born you must throw into the Nile, but let every girl live.†(Ex 1:22). However, Moses' mother refused to kill him. So the king of Jericho sent this order to Rahab: "Turn over the men who came to you--the ones who came to your house--for they have come to spy on the whole land!" (Jos 2:3). Rahab disobeyed and hid the Israeli spies rather that turn them over to her government (Jos 6:25). All the royal officials at the king's gate knelt down and paid honor to Haman, for the king had commanded this concerning him. But Mordecai would not kneel down or pay him honor (Es 3:2). The royal officials all agreed that the king should issue an edict and enforce the decree that anyone who prays to any god or human being during the next thirty days, except to you, Your Majesty, shall be thrown into the lions’ den. 8Now, Your Majesty, issue the decree and put it in writing so that it cannot be altered—in accordance with the law of the Medes and Persians, which cannot be repealed.†9So King Darius put the decree in writing. (Dan 6:7). However, Daniel refused to stop praying to God. The 3 Hebrew boys refused to bow to king’s golden idol (Daniel chapter 3). Amos continued to prophesy at Bethel right after the king ordered him to stop (Amos 7:10-17). The rulers, elders, and scribes assembled in Jerusalem commanded Peter and John to stop speaking or teaching at all in the name of Jesus. Peter and John refused to stop speaking and teaching in the name of Jesus (Acts 4:18). The apostles were brought before the Sanhedrin to be questioned by the high priest. "We gave you strict orders not to teach in this name,†he said. Peter and the other apostles replied: “We must obey God rather than human beings! (Acts 5:29). Absolutely! Parents, husbands, governmental officals and religious leaders WILL answer to God for how they handled their responsibility and authority. However, those under authority (wives, children, and other subjects) WILL also have to answer to God if they obey commands given by human authorities that violate God's law (i.e. what the Bible defines as sin and/or foolishness). There are multiple examples of that in scripture: 1.) Sapphira conspired with her husband and lied to the Holy Spirit. As a result, she followed her husband straight to an early grave. Although she was only doing what was generally considered a wife's duty by cooperating and agreeing with her husband, Sapphira received the very same punishment as Ananias. She didn't receive mercy because Ananias was the head and she wasn't (Acts 5:1-11). 2.) God promised King Jeroboam, the son of Nebat, a secure kingdom and a long lasting dynasty if he would trust the LORD, but Jeroboam didn't believe God would deliver on his promise. In order to achieve security, he abolished the national worship of the LORD and inaugurated the golden calf cult. Sexual immorality had long been part of calf worship. Jeroboam led the children of Israel into sin against God (1 Ki 11:25 - 14:20; 2 Ch 10:1 - 13:20). Jeroboam became the prototype of an evil king. Several kings who ruled after him followed his example and continued to lead the children of Israel into sin: Jeroboam's son Nadab became king over Israel during the second year of the reign of King Asa over Judah. He reigned over Israel for two years, practicing what the LORD considered to be evil, living the way his father did, committing sins, and leading Israel to sin (1 Ki 15:25-26).Later, a message came from the LORD to Hanani's son Jehu. It was directed to rebuke Baasha, and this is what it said: I raised you from the dirt to become Commander-in-Chief over my people Israel, but you've been living like Jeroboam, you've been leading my people Israel into sin, and you've been provoking me to anger with their sins (1 Ki 16:2).When Zimri observed that the city had been captured, he retreated into the king's palace, set fire to the citadel, and died when the palace burned down around him because of the sins that he committed by doing what the LORD considered to be evil, living like Jeroboam did, and sinning so as to lead Israel into sin (1 Kings 16:18). Omri practiced what the LORD considered to be evil, doing far more evil than anyone who had reigned before him. He lived just like Nebat's son Jeroboam, and by his sin he led Israel into sin, provoking the LORD God of Israel with their idolatry (1 Ki 16:25). Ahab asked Elijah, "So you've found me, my enemy?" Elijah answered, "I found you. Because you sold yourself to do what the LORD considers evil. 21So I am going to bring evil on you. I will destroy your descendants. I will destroy every male in Ahab's [house], whether slave or freeman in Israel. 22 I will make your family like the family of Jeroboam (Nebat's son) and like the house of Baasha, son of Ahijah, because you made me furious. You led Israel to sin." (1 Ki 21:20-22)Ahab's son Ahaziah became king over Israel in Samaria in the seventeenth year of King Jehoshaphat of Judah. He reigned for two years over Israel. He practiced what the Lord considered to be evil by living life like his father and mother did. He lived like Nebat's son Jeroboam, who led Israel into sin (1 Ki 22:51). Jehoahaz son of Jehu began to rule over Israel in the twenty-third year of King Joash’s reign in Judah. He reigned in Samaria seventeen years. 2 But he did what was evil in the LORD’s sight. He followed the example of Jeroboam son of Nebat, continuing the sins that Jeroboam had led Israel to commit. 3 So the LORD was very angry with Israel, and he allowed King Hazael of Aram and his son Ben-hadad to defeat them repeatedly (2 Ki 13:1-3). Jehoash son of Jehoahaz began to rule over Israel in the thirty-seventh year of King Joash’s reign in Judah. He reigned in Samaria sixteen years. 11But he did what was evil in the LORD’s sight. He refused to turn from the sins that Jeroboam son of Nebat had led Israel to commit (2 Ki 13:10-11). Jeroboam II, the son of Jehoash, began to rule over Israel in the fifteenth year of King Amaziah’s reign in Judah. Jeroboam reigned in Samaria forty-one years. 24He did what was evil in the LORD’s sight. He refused to turn from the sins that Jeroboam son of Nebat had led Israel to commit (2 Ki 14:23-24). Zechariah son of Jeroboam II began to rule over Israel in the thirty-eighth year of King Uzziah’s reign in Judah. He reigned in Samaria six months. 9 Zechariah did what was evil in the LORD’s sight, as his ancestors had done. He refused to turn from the sins that Jeroboam son of Nebat had led Israel to commit (2 Kings 15:8-9). Menahem son of Gadi began to rule over Israel in the thirty-ninth year of King Uzziah’s reign in Judah. He reigned in Samaria ten years. 18 But Menahem did what was evil in the LORD’s sight. During his entire reign, he refused to turn from the sins that Jeroboam son of Nebat had led Israel to commit (2 Kings 15:17-18). Pekahiah son of Menahem began to rule over Israel in the fiftieth year of King Uzziah’s reign in Judah. He reigned in Samaria two years. 24But Pekahiah did what was evil in the LORD’s sight. He refused to turn from the sins that Jeroboam son of Nebat had led Israel to commit (2 Kings 15:23-24). Pekah son of Remaliah began to rule over Israel in the fifty-second year of King Uzziah’s reign in Judah. He reigned in Samaria twenty years. 28But Pekah did what was evil in the LORD’s sight. He refused to turn from the sins that Jeroboam son of Nebat had led Israel to commit (2 Kings 15:27-28).God held King Jeroboam and the kings who followed his evil example of leading Israel into sin accountable. However, God also held the children of Israel accountable for obeying and following those evil kings into sin. God wasn't pleased with the children of Israel because they obeyed the evil commands and practices of those particular kings. God didn't reward the children of Israel for that kind of obedience. God punished the children of Israel for obeying and following those kings into sin by EXILING them: the people of Israel were exiled to Assyria ... 7 This disaster came upon the people of Israel because they worshiped other gods. They sinned against the LORD their God ... 8 They had followed the practices of the pagan nations the LORD had driven from the land ahead of them, as well as the practices the kings of Israel had introduced (2 Ki 17: 6-8). When the LORD tore Israel from the house of David, Israel made Jeroboam son of Nebat king. Then Jeroboam led Israel away from following the LORD and caused them to commit great sin. 22 The Israelites persisted in all the sins that Jeroboam committed and did not turn away from them. 23 Finally, the LORD removed Israel from His presence just as He had declared through all His servants the prophets. So Israel has been exiled to Assyria from their homeland until today (2Ki 17:21-23). Modern Examples that Garnered National Attention: Scott Catt's teenage son and daughter were his accomplices when he robbed banks. When the crime spree was finally foiled, father, son and daughter were ALL held accountable and jailed. His son and daughter didn't get a "get out of jail free card" because it was their father's idea, and he's the one directly responsible to God for any decisions affecting the entire family. http://www.texasmonthly.com/the-culture/i-would-only-rob-banks-for-my-family/ Adam Mayes killed Jo Ann Bain and her daughter, Adrienne, then hid out with her youngest daughters Alex and Kyliyah in the woods until they were found two weeks later. The wife of Adam Mayes admitted to helping him kidnap and murder members of the Bain family. Mayes' wife didn't get pardoned for submitting to her husband in sin. She was sentenced to 35 years. http://wreg.com/2013/08/09/mary-teresa-mayes-sentenced-for-kidnapping-murder/ Wanda Barzee says she learned to be submissive and obedient. Wanda Barzee helped her husband, Brian Mitchell, kidnap Elizabeth Smart so he could use her for his sex slave. Wanda Barzee didn't get pardoned for submitting to her husband in sin. She was sentenced to 15 years in federal prison for her role in the kidnapping and sexual assault of Elizabeth Smart. http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700083173/Wanda-Barzee-says-she-learned-to-be-submissive-and-obedient.html?pg=all A Bonner County woman who helped conceal the body of a murder victim out of fear and misguided devotion to her husband was sentenced to two years in prison. http://www.bonnercountydailybee.com/news/local/article_6a1d7412-32e0-11e2-909a-0019bb2963f4.html Her husband told her to nurse and drive, wife testifies. Police stopped Catherine Nicole Donkers after a trucker called 911 to report he had seen a woman driver holding a baby on her lap. She was charged and found guilty of violating child-restraint laws, driving without a valid driver's license and fleeing police. She didn't walk away scot-free because she was submitting to her husband. She was sentenced to three months' house arrest and fined $300. http://old.post-gazette.com/localnews/20030808donkersp4.asp http://articles.latimes.com/2003/dec/05/nation/na-briefs5.3
  2. The Bible & Wifely Submission

    @ Sabrina More than a FEW husbands have abused their wives and used the Bible to justify that abuse. Unfortunately, there is a lot of domestic violence going on behind closed doors, and a lot of the victims and their abusers attend church. Christian-based LifeWay Research recently conducted a study called In church, a taboo topic: Religious leaders try to break silence about domestic violence on abuse among flock. http://res.dallasnews.com/interactives/2014_deadlyaffection/part8/ I also acknowledge that some wives verbally and/or phyiscally abuse their husbands, and that's not right either. However, I've never heard about any women attempting to use the Bible to justify wives verbally and/or physically abusing their husbands. Some clergy have encouraged wives to continue living with and obeying abusive husbands. A battered wife, Karen Cox Smith, sought help from her local church. Afterwards, the couple reconciled and lived together in DeSoto. The Smiths and their three children began attending Inspiring Body of Christ, a church in the Red Bird area. Ferdinand Smith - the abusive husband - joined the choir and served as an usher. His wife thought he had changed. But the change didn’t last. The victim's mother said she begged her daughter to leave, but the Smiths’ pastor, Rickie G. Rush, advised otherwise. Her husband, Ferdinand Glen Smith, 42, gunned her down as she left work. He killed her and confessed to the shooting. Pastor Rush would not comment on the murder of Karen Cox Smith and would not return repeated telephone inquiries from the media. Things got so difficult at home for slay victim Deisy Garcia, “She asked the pastor for help. She wanted help with her husband. He had a bad attitude,†said Diana Villa, 44, a fellow parishioner at Iglesia Naciones Unidas en Cristo, the Queens church attended by the deeply religious Garcia, an immigrant from Guatemala. Her husband, Miguel Ramos, would later murder her and their daughters, Danielle, 2, and Yoselyn, 1. When Connie Nash showed up at church “black and blue†from her husband’s beatings, a pastor told her she “needed to keep forgiving, and I needed to pray for him and just keep asking God to change him and to help me be a better wife,†she remembered. To some in the Christian community, discussing Christian husbands who abuse their authority and questions like the ones posed by the OP are a waste of time since the majority of Christian husbands - as a rule - don't torture, beat, murder or command their wives to sin. However, God cares about the minority just as much as he cares about the majority. A good shepherd will leave the 99 sheep in the fold (the majority) to search and rescue the 1 (the minority) that got lost (Luke 18:12). Some in the church consider discussions about Christian husbands who abuse their authority and questions like the ones posed by the OP a waste of time since the majority of Christian husbands don't torture, beat, murder or command their wives to sin. However, the government took these issues like seriously. The murder of Karen Cox and the murder of Deisy Garcia and her 2 kids spurred new domestic violence prevention legislation. Where does it say that I was referring to husbands in general? Where? To say that Christian husbands generally command their wives to sin would be an example of stereotyping. To say that Christian husbands generally torture, beat, strip naked and murder their wives would be an example of stereotyping; and as an African American, I know the damage stereotyping can do. The OP was not asking about husbands in general. The OP was specifically asking about "a husband [who] commands his wife to do something which violates God's law or any rights she has according to scripture?" The OP never stated that all husbands do that. The OP never stated that husbands generally do it. In post #10, Joshua (not proverbs35) said, "If I consider the hypothetical questions from this angle, they remind me of this scene with Christ in the garden. Christ’s head, his leader, is telling Christ he needs to be tortured, beaten, stripped naked and hung until dead. Imagine a husband saying this to his wife." Joshua introduced the imagery of a husband telling his wife that she needs to be tortured, beat, stripped naked and hung until dead based on some sort of religiosity. I RESPONDED to the idea of a husband telling his wife that she has to be tortured, beaten, stripped naked and murdered in order to please her husband. I didn't introduce that idea, phrase or imagery. I RESPONDED to an idea, phrase and imagery that had already been presented. Ideas, phrases and imagery like that are EXTRA-biblical and counterproductive, especially in light of what happened to Karen Cox, Deisy Garcia and her 2 kids and Connie Nash. They didn't have to IMAGINE it. They experienced it, and some of 'em didn't live to tell the story. Yes. Husbands (and wives) should love their spouses unconditionally. Agape love is unconditional. Agape love never fails (1 Cor 13:8). However, obedience is CONDITIONAL, and that's illustrated in the Bible. See Scripture references below. Indeed, she did. Sarah bore Abraham's buderns and prefered his need (preservation of his life) before her own virtue. Therefore, her example is an important one, but it's not the only one presented in scripture about submission to authority. We, unlike Sarah, have a progressive revelation of God's word. God did not unfold His entire plan to humanity in the Book of Genesis or in the entire Old Testament. God revealed various aspects of His will and overall plan for humanity over different periods of time from Genesis to Revelations. Paul said, "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work" (2 Tim 3:16-17). 1.) Should wives submit to their husbands? YES! Why? Because the Bible commands it: Eph 5:22, Col 3:18, 1 Pet 3 :1, Tit 2:5. 2.) Should a wife obey what the Bible CLEARLY defines as sin or foolishness because her husband commands her to do it? We have several demonstrative, Biblical examples that illustrate NO. Abigail disobeyed her husband's foolish instructions. Abigail went behind Nabal's back and against his wishes and sent David and his men bread, water and meat. David thanked Abigail for staying his hand and repented of his own rash decision to slaughter Nabal and the men in his house(1 Samuel chap 25). Unlike Abigail, Sapphira was a foolish wife. She conspired with her husband and lied to the Holy Spirit. As a result, she followed her husband straight to an early grave. Although she was only doing what was generally considered a wife's duty by cooperating and agreeing with her husband, Sapphira received the very same punishment as Ananias. She didn't receive mercy because Ananias was the the head and she wasn't (Acts 5:1-11). According to a law established by the king, Esther's husband, no man or woman was suppose to approach the king in the inner court without being summoned. The penalty for approaching the king in the inner court without being summoned was death, unless the king decided to grant the person mercy (Es 4:11). Esther disobeyed that particular law. She risked her life by approaching the king in the inner court without being summoned in order to intercede for her people (Es 5:1). Long story short, Esther found favor with the king and was able to help save the Jews from annihilation. Focus On The Family: When Not to Submit to Your Husband Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right (Ep 6:1). Col 3:20, Ex 20:12, De 5:16 Jonathan's disobeyed his father. He refused to comply with his father's plan to kill David (I Sam 19 & 20). Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God (Ro 13:1). 1 Pe 2:13-14 Jonathan's disobeyed his king. Jonathan refused to comply with the king's plan to kill David. Saul was Jonathan's father (parental authority) and king (governmental authority). I Sam 19 & 20. The king instructed the midwives to kill the newborn Hebrew boys, but the midwives refused to kill the infants. As a result, God was kind to the midwives and gave them families of their own (Exodus 1:15-22). Then Pharaoh gave this order to all his people: “Every Hebrew boy that is born you must throw into the Nile, but let every girl live.†(Ex 1:22). However, Moses' mother refused to kill him. So the king of Jericho sent this order to Rahab: "Turn over the men who came to you--the ones who came to your house--for they have come to spy on the whole land!" (Jos 2:3). Rahab disobeyed and hid the Israeli spies rather that turn them over to her government (Jos 6:25). All the royal officials at the king's gate knelt down and paid honor to Haman, for the king had commanded this concerning him. But Mordecai would not kneel down or pay him honor (Es 3:2). The royal officials all agreed that the king should issue an edict and enforce the decree that anyone who prays to any god or human being during the next thirty days, except to you, Your Majesty, shall be thrown into the lions’ den. 8Now, Your Majesty, issue the decree and put it in writing so that it cannot be altered—in accordance with the law of the Medes and Persians, which cannot be repealed.†9So King Darius put the decree in writing. (Dan 6:7). However, Daniel refused to stop praying to God. The 3 Hebrew boys refused to bow to king’s golden idol (Daniel chapter 3). Amos continued to prophesy at Bethel right after the king ordered him to stop (Amos 7:10-17). The rulers, elders, and scribes assembled in Jerusalem commanded Peter and John to stop speaking or teaching at all in the name of Jesus. Peter and John refused to stop speaking and teaching in the name of Jesus (Acts 4:18). The apostles were brought before the Sanhedrin to be questioned by the high priest. "We gave you strict orders not to teach in this name,†he said. Peter and the other apostles replied: “We must obey God rather than human beings! (Acts 5:29).
  3. The Bible & Wifely Submission

    @ Joshua However, for the wives subjected to husbands who command them to do sinful and/or foolish things, it's not a hypothetical situation or exception, it's a reality. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the CHURCH submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Eph 5:22-24 Wives are NOT instructed to submit to their husbands "like Christ submitted to the Father." That's not a Biblical instruction for wives. The Bible specifically and emphatically instructs wives to submit to their husbands like the CHURCH SUBMITS TO CHRIST. The Bible does NOT say that wives should submit to their husbands "like Christ submitted to the Father." Therefore, the focus should on how the CHURCH submitted to Christ. The parallel, analogy and context of Eph 5:22-24 is between wives and the CHURCH - not wives and Christ. The Bible does NOT instruct wives to follow Christ's example of submission to the Father as it relates to wives submitting to their husbands. The Bible does NOT instruct wives to submit to their husbands "like Christ submitted to the Father." That's NOT in the Bible. The Bible specifically and emphatically commands wives to submit to their husbands like the CHURCH submits to Christ. Again, the parallel, analogy and context of Eph 5:22-24 is between wives and the church - not wives and Christ. The verse in Phil 2: 5-11 is congregational. It's directed at the congregation. It's not simply about how wives should relate to their husbands. The verse in Phil 2:5-11 is about how we should relate to one another (our brothers and sisters) in Christ. Therefore, husbands should also "EMPTY" themselves for their wives. We should also "EMPTY" ourselves for our brothers and sisters in Christ. That passage isn't confined to the marital relationship. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; 7rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross! 9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, 10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father (Phil 2:5-11, NIV). Unlike God the Father (Christ's head) husbands are fallible, imperfect sinners. Therefore, if a husband is telling his wife that she must be tortured, beaten, stripped naked and hung until dead in order to please her husband, that's domestic violence, and it's not Christlike. Unfortunately, far too many husbands believe that they have a divine right to torture, beat, strip and/or kill their wives. In Alabama (my home state), 24 domestic homicides were reported in 2013. More than 42 percent of the victims were the wife or ex-wife of the offender. As of Oct. 2015, at least 7 Alabama wives have been murdered by their husbands in 2015: http://www.al.com/news/birmingham/index.ssf/2015/07/found_steve_hutcheson_suspecte.html http://www.al.com/news/montgomery/index.ssf/2015/03/husband_wife_killed_in_apparen.html http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2015/08/couple_charged_with_capital_mu.html http://www.al.com/news/birmingham/index.ssf/2015/04/shooting_hostage_situation_und.html http://www.al.com/news/birmingham/index.ssf/2015/07/husband_charged_in_wifes_death.html http://www.al.com/news/anniston-gadsden/index.ssf/2015/08/oxford_man_arrested_for_stabbi.html http://www.al.com/news/birmingham/index.ssf/2015/01/birmingham_woman_run_over_kill.html That's not including the ones who have been physically injured by husbands and lived to tell the story. Here's ONE recent example of an Alabama wife who survived the abuse that her husband was committing against her. http://wiat.com/2015/10/06/man-shot-in-ensley-taken-to-hospital-with-life-threatening-injuries/ In Alabama, we've also had several high profile cases where Christian pastors have tortured, beat and killed their wives. http://www.al.com/news/birmingham/index.ssf/2015/05/homewood_pastors_wife_cited_hu.html http://www.al.com/news/birmingham/index.ssf/2014/08/handsome_devil_case_of_former.html http://blog.al.com/live/2010/04/jury_finds_preacher_guilty_of.html http://www.al.com/living/index.ssf/2014/06/she_still_fears_her_father_pas.html#incart_story_package That's why it's a red flag when people start promoting this kind of stuff in the name of Christ. The Bible does NOT say that husbands should torture, beat, strip naked and hang their wives until dead. The Bible does NOT say that husbands should verbally threaten their wives with violence (being tortured, beaten, being stripped naked and hung until dead) if they don't live up to their husbands' expectations or demands. Husbands are instructed to love their wives like Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Eph 5:25). Christ didn't torture, beat, strip naked or hang the church (his bride) until dead, and husbands shouldn't do that to their brides either. Husbands (not wives) are directly, specifically and emphatically commanded to love their wives like Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Eph 5:25). Gave himself up for her meaning "die" for her. Of course, we generally don't expect husbands (Christ-like or otherwise) to get on a cross and die a physical death like Jesus did, but a Christ-like husband's goal will be to die to sin: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, greed, idolatry (Col 3:1-11, Rom 6:2-11). On a side note, dying to sin: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, greed and idolatry is also a congregational instruction. The congregation of Christ is instructed to die in this way. That includes married folks - BOTH husbands and wives. The Bible teaches us to put our trust in God alone and not people - husbands or otherwise. There are a multitude of verses about trusting God; far too many to list here. However, this is what the Bible teaches as it relates to trusting mankind: It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man. Ps 118:8 Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save. Ps 146:3 Stop trusting in man, who has but a breath in his nostrils. Of what account is he? Is 2:22 This is what the LORD says: “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD. Je 17:5 Confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble is like a broken tooth, and a foot out of joint. Pr 25:19 Although the Bible tells us to trust God and not mankind, Pr 31:11 states that the husband of a virtuous wife can trust her. However, there is no equivalent verse stating that a wife can or should trust her husband.
  4. The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18 The Hebrew word for Helper in Gen 2:18 is Ezer (Strong's 5828). The traditional teaching for the woman as help (meet) is that of assistant or helper subservient to the one being helped. This definition would appear to line up with Strong's definition of the word. However, if you look at the context of every other use of the word ezer in the scripture, you will see that ezer refers to either God or military allies. In all other cases the one giving the help is superior to the one receiving the help. Adding kenegdo (meet) modifies the meaning to that of equal rather than superior status. Scripture is so awesome. God says just what He means. In Genesis 2:18, the word "helpmeet" does not occur. The Hebrew expression ezer kenegdo appears, meaning "one who is the same as the other and who surrounds, protects, aids, helps, supports." There is no indication of inferiority or of a secondary position in an hierarchical separation of the male and female "spheres" of responsibility, authority, or social position. The word ezer is used twice in the Old Testament to refer to the female and 14 times to refer to God. For example, in the Psalms when David says, "The Lord is my Helper," he uses the word ezer." http://godswordtowomen.org/help.htm I just wanted to share the powerful definition for the Hebrew word for Helper (EZER). I hope it blesses others as much as it has blessed me!!!
  5. My opinion: I don't like the idea of a woman proposing. Bibically, the husband will be the Head and primary leader. Therefore, he should take the initiative and leadership role as it relates to proposing. If he doesn't, that might be a telling sign that he's going to be a very passive husband and leader rather than an active, productive one. Growing up, I was always reminded of the verse: He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD. Pr 18.22 Considering that verse, I was taught that it was the husband's duty to FIND, and the wife's duty to be FOUND or DISCOVERED. However, I participated in a Bible Study on the virtuous Ruth earlier this year. Guess what I learned? Long story short, virtuous Ruth pursued and proposed to Boaz. Wow! That was so different from what I was taught growing up. Not that Pr 18:22 is null and void or anything, but there are two perspectives on the issue rather than just one. http://womeninthescr...e-to-their.html
  6. I don't usually recommend books. However, I read this book years ago, and it has proven very true to life, so the message sticks with me. I just wanted to share it here. In the book, Tim LaHaye describes the 4 temperaments/ personality types: phlegmatic, sanguine, choleric and melancholy. I believe that I've found the book so helpful because it helped me to identify my own personality as well as those in relationship me. As result, I think that I've been able to relate to others more effectively. Also, I'm not as perhaps critical of others because I realize that they do certain things simply because they are wired that way by God, and we are not all wired the same. Therefore, not everyone thinks like me (or vice versa) and that's okay. Anyway, has anyone else read this particular book? If not, I hope people would read it prior to marriage because it could help you understand your partner and kids better. I know the 5 love languages by Gary Chapman is extremely popular, but this book spoke to me in a way that love languages didn't. Again, I guess it just depends on your wiring.
  7. I agree with you wholeheartedly about a husband's responsibility to seek God and pray. Leaders are not born. Leadership must be cultivated. If a person fails to cultivate his/her leadership skills through prayer and Biblical wisdom, he/she will prove to be a poor leader. Moses was a reluctant leader. He didn't speak well and lacked confidence (Ex 4:1-31). As a result, God sent Moses' brother Aaron along to help him. In a marriage, God might give a husband a wife who is capable of assisting him in an area that he might be weak in. The thing about "help" is that it's useless unless you accept it. Moses' leadership skills improved along the way as he continued to be in relationship with God. He made mistakes along the way because he was human. Titus 1:6-9 lists the qualifications for an elder/leader in the Christian community - church. As we know, elders and leaders are to be an example for the other members of the body of Christ. With that in mind, Christian husbands should mimic and learn from the elder's leadership style.
  8. Proverbs 27:15-16

    Ever hear a leaky faucet? It can be very annoying and bothersome, similar to constant dripping on a rainy day. Related Verses: Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. Pro 25:25, Pro 21:9 Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife. Pro 21:19 A foolish son is his father's ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping. Pro 19:13 This sentiment is presented about 5 times. And yes, quarrelsome (people) are difficult to deal with. If at all possible, please don't marry a quarrelsome person.
  9. I was elated to learn about the Proverbial Man of Noble Character. For a long time, I did't even know this description existed. Most believers have or will study the Proverbs 31 woman. However, you rarely hear about the Proverbial Man of Noble Character, and his description is equally as important, awesome and relevant as that of the Proverbs 31 woman. A wise man will hear and increase in learning, And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel. Pro 1:5 Reprove a wise man and he will love you. Pro 9:8 Give instruction to a wise man and he will be still wiser, Teach a righteous man and he will increase his learning. Pro 9:9 ...a man of understanding holds his peace. Pro 11:12 The generous man will be prosperous, And he who waters will himself be watered. Pro 11:25 A good man will obtain favor from the LORD. Pro 12:2 A wise man is he who listens to counsel. Pro 12:15 A prudent man overlooks an insult. Pro 12:16 A righteous man hates falsehood... Pro 13:5 Every prudent man acts with knowledge. Pro13:16 He who walks with wise men will be wise. Pro 13:20 A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children. Pro 13:22 The sensible man considers his steps. Proverbs 14:15 A wise man is cautious and turns away from evil. Pro 14:16 He who is slow to anger has great understanding. Pro 14:29 A man of understanding walks straight. Pro 15:21 ...he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Pro17:27. What is desirable in a man is his kindness. Pro 19:22 A righteous man who walks in his integrity-- How blessed are his sons after him. Pro 20:7 A wise man scales the city of the mighty And brings down the stronghold in which they trust. Pro 21:22 A prudent man sees danger, and hides himself... Pro 22:3, 27:12 A wise man is strong, And a man of knowledge increases power. Pro 24:5 For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again, But the wicked stumble in time of calamity. Pro 24:16 A faithful man will abound with blessings, But he who makes haste to be rich will not go unpunished. Pro 28:20 A fool always loses his temper, But a wise man holds it back. Pro 29:11