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Everything posted by Mike

  1. Hi Guys and Gals! Here's the first question I need your help with for the book. Part of the book is divided into sections based on the stages of your life journey as a waiter-till-marriage. One of those sections is "Making the decision to wait." Rather than try to discuss abstractly why people decide to wait (though I'll do that too), I thought it would be best to let us waiters speak for ourselves. So I'm going to have a few pages containing short quotes from people about why they decided to wait. So tell me: Why did you decide to wait? Try to keep it short and sweet, max 5-6 lines of text. If you have to make it longer, post what comes to you and I'll try to help you cut it down. Incomplete sentences are totally cool. Think of it as "I decided to wait until marriage because ____" I'll start... P.S. - Ok that was way harder than I thought it was going to be. Couple more notes: You'll have a few weeks to edit/delete/add to you answer before it's final, so it doesn't have to be perfect on this first try. Don't be afraid to repeat something somebody else said. We're bound to have lots of overlapping reasons. Discovering those is going to be part of the fun of doing this! Focus on how you felt back then (when you first decided). You'll get the chance to talk about your current, more mature and thought out reasons for waiting later.
  2. In my ongoing search for visual cues to those who wait, I'm curious: Do you have any tattoos, or do you feel the urge to get a tattoo in the future? If so, what would you get and where? If not, why not? I'll start: I have no tattoos and no intention of getting one, mainly because I don't trust myself to choose something now that I wouldn't feel embarrassed about ten years from now.
  3. Asked by Jordan... What was the hardest thing about waiting for you?
  4. Hey Guys (and Gals), Can you each reply to this thread with a short blurb about who you are and your relationship background? Like, 2-4 sentences is totally cool. Do you think that including details like "married a non-waiter" could help people know who direct certain questions to?
  5. Warning: Phishing site

    Hey Guys, Sorry for all the headaches. We are now, finally, on the latest version of the forum software we use (it was a major PITA getting to it...had to upgrade the server, pull the site down several times, restore from backup several times). However, now that we're all upgraded, I can request another review from Google and get them to (hopefully) resolve the fishing warning for good. Also note: I know the forum looks totally different and the nav is missing and The WTM Matchmaker feature is missing. My first priority is resolving the fishing error, then I'll add back the template and the crush feature (and eventually, the user-to-user chat bar). Thanks everybody for your patience.
  6. Suggest Abstinence Websites

    Do you have any other favorite waiting-related websites (besides our glorious WTM.org, of course) that you'd like to see listed on our Abstinence Websites page? Post a link to the website here! P.S. If you're the owner/webmaster of an abstinence website, you are welcome do more than just post a link. Please post a link to your site here, and consider contacting Olivier or Mike too. We'd love to collaborate with you!
  7. Warning: Phishing site

    Hey Everybody, An update: Still working on this. Very sorry for the inconvenience. Two things happened: 1. Spammers posted spammy threads (as they do). They admin team caught them (yay admins!), but not before Google's scanner robots saw them. That was the first flag. 2. The chat software (the chat bar at the bottom of the site) needs an update. Do people still use that, btw? #1 has been solved. It's just convincing google. I'm working on #2 this week. Thanks for your patience, and hope you're all well!
  8. Suggest Movies & TV Shows

    This is the place to suggest new Movies and TV Shows! Just reply to this topic to suggest a movie/show.
  9. Suggest Celebrities

    Do you know of a celebrity that supports waiting on sex and isn't already listed on our Celebrities page? Suggest them here! If possible, please include a link to an article that discusses the celebrity's waiting status.
  10. Suggest Books

    Do you know of a book that should be on the Books page? Suggest it here and we'll get it added!
  11. Quick poll everybody: How do you get to WTM.org when you want to see it? Did you book mark the forums? Did you bookmark the home page? Do you start typing Waitingtil...? Or forums.waiting...? I'm about to start working on a big redesign (well, about to pickup where I left off). If there's anything else you guys would like to see (besides more dating features; that's coming after the redesign), now's the time to tell me! Do you ever have trouble finding things? Or hearing about new articles? That kind of stuff.
  12. Asked by Jordan... What would you suggest to those who are looking for "waiters" to marry? Where should they look?
  13. Hi Guys, I've been having this strange feeling lately, and was wondering if anybody else could relate. Since starting this website and making friends with all you awesome people, I've grown a bit more calm and solidified about my status as a waiter. Knowing all of you has helped my decision feel more validated and reasonable, and so I find myself questioning it even less than I normally would (which wasn't much to begin with). Before this website, I thought of waiting as my individual choice. But now that I know all of you, waiting feels more like an available alternative that lots of people choose. Almost like a kind of sexual orientation. It used to be who I am, but now it feels like who a lot of people are. And this has led to a kind of constant, underlying sense of solidarity and group reinforcement. In short: Waiting no longer feels like a set of choices and actions to me. It feels like an orientation that I was always kind of built for. Does anybody else relate to this, or am I just spouting drivel?
  14. Alright, I am sick to death of having to type out "people who are waiting till marriage" whenever I want to reference, well, people who are waiting till marriage (see?!). It's cumbersome, it forces me to have way-too-long article headlines, and it's not at all catchy. Once upon a time, people were tired of saying "people who habitually abuse alcohol" over and over again so some brilliant person came up with the term "Alcoholic" and article writers were forever saved keystrokes and headline space. I'm asking you to be that brilliant person. Let's brainstorm here. What's are some shorter nicknames we could use for "people who are waiting till marriage to have sex"? Possibilities I've ruled out... Waiters - Works perfectly, grammatically, but too easy to confuse with people who wait tables Virgins - Not everybody who is waiting till marriage is a virgin People in wait - Still too long, and sounds too hopeless for my tastes People who wait - Breaks down, grammatically and too long. WTM People - WTM might be too obscure and hard to figure out at first glance. And not quite right, grammatically. I'll start the brainstorming... WTMers That's all I've got See? I need your help! There has got to be a way to say this that's easy to understand at first glance, yet much shorter and more fun. Seriously, suggest anything that pops into your mind!
  15. Hi Everyone! Just a quick announcement: The group chat room and the Members' Blogs feature are back on line now, so get to chatting and blogging! P.S. Sorry for the outage!
  16. Asked by WanderingWashingtonian... How frequently are you having sex? Is is as much as you expected before marriage?
  17. Hey Everybody, Added a cool article to the Statistics section today: Who We Look For: Findings From a Study on Ideal Romantic Partners It covers the differences between the qualities people look for when seeking a romantic partner, and the qualities they look for when they're seeking a purely sexual partner. Let me know what you think!
  18. Hi Everybody, The WTM Podcast, Episode 2 featuring Vince and Julie is ready for your listening pleasure. Check it out!
  19. Hi Everybody, Special announcement: Check out the first episode of The WTM Podcast! Give it a listen. Vince and Julie did a great job; I really enjoyed it.
  20. Hey Everybody! Do you know your four letter personality type score? Like Introvert/Extrovert, etc. We started sharing these in another thread and I thought it was really interesting because many of us had a very similar score. I'm particularly interested to see if most of us end up being the "idealist" personality (NF). Here's a fun video on Personality Type, if you're interested. So if you know your score, post it here! If you don't know your score, you should google some MBTI quizzes and find out! I'm going to eventually try to invent a mini version of the test to post on this site. Here's a list of everybody that's shared so far... Mike (me): INFP Leo: ENFP Zoe: INFP Tempest Desh: INTJ Sally: IN?J Noticing a trend? Cool, isn't it?!
  21. DragonCon In GA

    I wish I could go! But $150/ticket is just way too steep for me, especially since I only want go one day.
  22. Asked by Jordan... Some of you married non-waiters. How did they react to your waiting? Did they consider it to be a minor inconvenience that they simply came to accept in time? Or did they want to wait until marriage too? And if the former, how did you persuade them to wait?
  23. Hey Everybody, Check out this excellent article by our own successful waiter Shane B on his journey as a gay Christian and waiter-till-marriage. Shane's story: My journey as a gay waiter-till-marriage. Also, stay tuned next week for the first episode of The WTM Podcast by Vince and Jegs. I've heard it; it's awesome.
  24. Welcome to WTM.org! Here are some basic guidelines for getting along and thriving in this very special community. If you have an issue with any of these, or have some suggestions for other guidelines, please share! 1. Think of WTM.org like a group of friends Some people arrive here looking for a date and hoping for The One, and that's cool, but take it slow. There are couples that met each other on this site and started dating, but they got to know each other first (via posts and PMs), recognized that they had things in common (besides WTM), and gradually built things up...just like in a real-life friend group. We LOVE when people meet here and date, but we don’t love when new members flirt with everybody they see. That wouldn’t fly in a real-life friend group, and it doesn’t go over well here, especially with such broad age ranges (don’t be an accidental pedobear). Ultimately we’re here to support each other and hang out with people who understand a piece of our lives that few can. 2. Remember that we’re all fighting the same battles here. Remember: We’re on your side! Be grateful to have allies and don’t split hairs. If you think someone is wrong, articulate your point, but try to maintain your respect for the person as somebody who shares a very rare quality with you (waiting till marriage). 3. Stand up for what you think is right...thoughtfully. This community operates on a high level of mutual respect (see point #2). Differing opinions make for great conversation, and we have plenty of that here. Thoughtful, well-articulated arguments are encouraged. But lecturing/preaching is not cool. Again, think of a real-life friend group: when you argue politics with a friend, you still intend to get drinks afterwards. 4. Set a profile picture A profile picture makes you appear more friendly, makes you easier to remember (when you're new), and helps keep up the visual appeal of the site for guest lurkers. If you need help creating or setting a picture, ask somebody who already has a profile picture and they’ll be happy to walk you through it (or PM a Moderator). Note: You get bonus internet points for using a real picture. 5. What happens in Guys Only/Girls Only, stays in Guys Only/Girls Only. Once you join and introduce yourself, you will be able to see and access the relevant "locker room" forum for your gender. These special areas are intended to be safe places, and you are honor-bound by the man code/woman code not to disclose anything discussed there. Going on Sunday chat and spilling the beans to a mixed group about the latest guys only/girls only topic is a quick way to lose the respect and trust of other members. 6. Be patient with new members WTM.org is the warmest, safest place on the web for those who wait. I like to think of WTM.org as a winter cabin with a crackling fire, hot food, and great company for those who wait...and it’s surrounded on all sides by a harsh blizzard (everyday life). When people arrive here (usually from Google) it’s often like they’re coming in from the cold. We understand that it may take time for new members to shake off all of the stormy things that brought them through our door, warm up, and relax. It’s a tough place out there for us waiters. We know how lonely, frustrating, and embittering it can be on this path. We understand waiting-related hangups, gripes, and doubts better than anybody else. And to a large extent, we WANT you to vent all of that stuff out here, because it’s cathartic and helpful for everybody to address it. So if a new member is a little rough around the edges, try to give them the benefit of the doubt first. Give them a chance to warm up. 7. Speak up if something is bothering you! Sometimes personal hangups can make members toxic, and that makes the community less fun for everybody. If somebody is really killing your buzz and hindering your experience on WTM.org, let a Moderator know about it! 8. Suggest ideas! If you have an idea of how we can make WTM.org better, please post it! This site thrives on good suggestions from members. 9. Keep it PG-13, except in VDA Remember that we have age ranges here from 14-49. Technically, we don't filter profanity (otherwise I'm sure I would have gotten dinged a few times myself), but using it too often or in too vulgar a context is generally frowned upon due to the mixed age range. 10. Don't be hostile to non-waiters It's perfectly OK to vent, but try to avoid better-than statements/rants. That kind of thinking will get us flamed quickly, and is unhealthy in general. It's totally cool to point out distinct advantages to waiting, or to lament over the comparatively loose standards of your friends. But don't start condemning. 11. Treat born-agains as equal citizens of WTM.org I want this site to be an incredible resource for everybody who has decided to wait. Whatever past led them to their decision (to wait until marriage), we should be here to support them as fellow waiters, because right now that's exactly what they are.
  25. Hi Everyone! Check out the great new article by Jegsy: 7 Reasons Why Catholics Wait Until Marriage Jegsy is a great writer. I learned a lot from the article, and I think you will too.