WakeUp&BeAwesome

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About WakeUp&BeAwesome

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  1. Thanks for sharing and being open and honest about your experiences and what it has done to you. True, kids can be cruel and scar you for a lifetime. You definitely have my compassion. You are not alone, though. Research ("The nature of prejudice" by G.W. Allport) on the causes and transmission of prejudice suggests that when an individual has a negative experience with a member of a group as part of routine everyday encounters (in your case "the female group"), this moment is often mobilized to produce and justify powerful negative generalizations about the whole population that the individual is seen to represent (in your case "the female population") (Information from "Living with difference" by G. Valentine) So I am sure, you can work towards solving those issues, if you want to. I know, easier said than done like always. And "misery loves company" is a...well....way too miserable motto to live one´s life by, don´t you think? All the best!
  2. Your pleasure = Spouse's responsibility?

    @'tis the Bearded One Thanks for the article. If you go to bible studies, though (like the ex girlfriend, for example), doesn´t it mean that you are looking into the subject and the Bible? How can you go to bible studies and not live a bible-based life (or at least make an effort to do so)? Isn´t that a contradiction? I think, if someone goes to bible studies (voluntary and not forced by someone else), they are actually interested in the Bible, aren´t they? The article talks about how Christians aren´t that interested anymore in church service, and serious prayer and the Bible. But the girlfriend seemed like the exact opposite. Very involved, even doing mission trips! I also know some people who are very involved in church, some even taking leaderships in church. Yet, they would never wait and think it is not desirable. I have trouble understanding that, honestly. Some say, that it is purely Interpretation and that nowhere in the Bible it is clearly stated that you should wait until marriage to have sex. So they don´t. This whole topic reminds me of this video. It is meant to be comedy and not serious, but I think, it has a lot of truth in it, especially for the younger generation.
  3. Aaah, of course! Needed some time to catch up on that
  4. Yes, to all non-virgins here: don´t feel excluded!!! But what double meaning does "Virgin Therapists" imply? It´s therapists that are virgin....or do you mean the star sign as the double meaning? Haha, sorry, I am obviously missing something here. "Waiter Therapists" does have a double meaning, too, though. Waiter as in "waiting till marriage" and Waiter as in the profession (waiter/waitress). Haha. Okay, that was not that funny
  5. @Naturally What I forgot earlier....Was it you, who complemented the title of this thread and another thread with the introduction "Virgin Therapists"? (I don´t know if only the person who started the thread can change the title later) Although, we have a lot of non-virgin waiters here who, of course, are more than welcome to give their opinions, the title is funny Sounds like a TV-series or something similiar...
  6. Sure. I think there are aspects in the control of a husband which impact the wife´s womanhood, self-esteem, mental health, feelings of love and almost every aspect of life. Absolutely. Yes, you can ask the exact same question. For some women it might be related to sex, for some not. Who said it is bad when it is sex instead of something else? I am afraid I don´t understand what you are trying to say here ... What "upcroppings of overly prudish culture"? What culture are you talking about? Well, I don´t think that a man is an animal for wanting sex....and I don´t think sex is bad. Rather quite the contrary. Sorry, I can´t follow you here. Makes sense and I agree. Thanks. Keep the book recommendations coming Agreed.
  7. @Dave1985 Thanks for your answer! I am not quite sure what to say. It sounded quite...pessimistic. I am not actually miserable on a daily basis. Just have sad moments/days where I am questioning this whole WTM-thing and feeling very down and lonely, because I seem to be the only one with this idea (in my real social environment, I mean). But I guess, every waiter has his/hers ups and downs and sometimes wanting to throw in the towel. If you don´t mind me asking...how come you seem so negative regarding women and marriage? If I would hear about "the female human being" for the very first time just by reading some of your posts, I would think, that women are some evil, malicious and ruthless creatures with mean intentions just on earth to destroy men and suck every ounce of happiness out of them while exploiting them in almost every area of their lives. I don´t deny that women like that do not exist. But good news is: There are kind, loving women with good intentions, as well. Women who would be passionate about making their man happy. So....you can still find happiness, is what I am trying to say.
  8. Three religions. One house.

    @Revan Why odd? The holy rooms will be separated. So Jews pray in the synagogue, Muslims in the mosque and Christians in the church. It is all separated. Just to make it clear again.
  9. Your pleasure = Spouse's responsibility?

    Thank you so much! I´m just a lifelong learner interested in opinions and experiences from other people I appreciate your openness and willingness to share your thoughts and insights here. Yes, you are reading my question correctly! Very interesting! Did you ever talk with her about this issue (that you would like to get more attention for your needs etc.) outside of bed? Or was it always only "in the moment" when you confronted her with a "wish" and then she proceeded to do it, but with an unpleasant attitude like you mentioned? I mean, did you ever had talks abou sex? And if so, what did she had to say about that? Or was the "God´s gift to men" the only reason she ever mentioned? 100 % agreed. It´s not what you say, but how you say it... Sure. No worries, to me you didn´t sound like ex bashing. Thanks, that´s heartening. But well....you also consider yourself to be a good and passionate giver...and it still didn´t work out. So I am actually still worried to find out that my man is an absolute asshole in bed.... To me it sounds so paradox, as well. A kind and loving and caring person and then so selfish and careless in bed only focusing on one´s own needs. Did you ever hear about a reversed case? When the person is very selfish, arrogant, careless, inconsiderate [insert any negative trait you like] in every day life and other areas in life, but is absolutely a passionate, good giver in bed? Not the answer I hoped for, but thanks for your honesty And how do you think you can best mitigate these risks? Why would you personally be even okay with taking these risks by (maybe) waiting til marriage the next time? Why especially for women? What about the waiting men? Where is the difference here? Also can I ask you another question a bit out of context? You don´t have to answer, if it´s too personal or if you don´t want to, of course. I am wondering about your ex girlfriend... She seemed very religious and very engaged in church. I mean, bible studies, mission trips, church choir. She even termed body parts of her "God´s gift to men". One might think, that a person like her would be interested in waiting until marriage to do the deed. Do you know why she didn´t want to wait? Was waiting EVER in the talks? I am not negatively judging here (my waiting isn´t motivated by religion). I guess, I am just wondering and always have a bit of trouble understanding those very religiously involved people, but still they don´t find waiting worthwile and desirable. Thanks for the talk!
  10. I'm new and FINALLY got signed up!!

    No worries! I find it incredibly kind of you that you are interested in those problems, even though you are not an admin. So thank you very much! I appreciate it! Yes, maybe @Invincible or some other admin can help. Wasn´t the case in the past, though. But I will try again.
  11. I'm new and FINALLY got signed up!!

    @StarGate SG1 I agree with everything you said and couldn´t say it any better. I guess, that some people are more able than other people to question things (due to very different reasons). Also: It is definitely due to cultural standards what is seen as attractive and non-attractive. In some Asian regions corpulent women are seen as the most attractive kind of women (sorry, I can´t remember the specific places). Or many Japanese women find corpulent men very attractive and like big bellies....(it´s due to the `otherness` since the majority of Japanese people are thin). However, it is interesting to see how culture is influencing people in their thinking, doing and living. I don´t know what´s so bad. True. The person´s attitude is key.
  12. Three religions. One house.

    Oh, don´t worry You made it clear. I am just not sure yet, what I should think about this One World Religion... But thanks again for your input!
  13. Your pleasure = Spouse's responsibility?

    @StarGate SG1 Thank you so much for sharing your insights and experiences! What I am wondering here now is the following: Some people say, if the person is a giving person in general and in other aspects of life, the person will be giving in bed, too. Some people say, that you can´t really know if the person will be giving when it comes to sex unless you actually build a sex life with them. Even the kindest, most giving people in everyday life can be absolute selfish in bed. What´s your experience there? I never knew what to believe or how to approach this matter. Because, if my spouse would not care about my needs at all and it turns out I would have to ask every single time for just one thing, this would be quite devastating to me. I consider myself a highly giving person and actually like the thought of giving pleasure almost more than receiving it (Almost! Of course, I´d like to receive pleasure, as well and it would also frustrate me when my spouse apparently does not really care about giving back to me). I am just wondering if talking about it and experiencing your partner in other life areas would be enough to prevent such a scenario you mentioned you had with your previous girlfriend (which sounded truly heartbreaking and I can imagine that it sucked)! Thanks again for sharing!
  14. Three religions. One house.

    Of course! I am just interested in people´s opinions about this. Although I can´t see any signs of a deception, hidden agenda or the motivation to form a One World Religion in this particular project, I try to understand where you are coming from. I guess, I need to think some things through you mentioned. Thanks again!
  15. I'm new and FINALLY got signed up!!

    Hi, no worries! Yes, I can absolutely understand that women think that and why they think that. But those must be women who (1) never experienced other kinds of men (which is sad and not their fault) or (2) very very young women who are easily influenceable or (3) women who simply don´t question certain things and don´t try to get to the bottom of "stated facts". I was told the exact same thing and learned the same thing through media for example. I can remember a time where I thought that in order to have a relationship you must first sleep with eachother and only after sex there is the decision to be made if the man and woman are going to be a couple or not. Why did I think this? Well, movies.... Or I used to think that when you have reached the age of 16, then it is time that you should have sex; at the latest at 18 (but then you are crazy and a loser anyway). Why did I think that? Magazines....and friends. But soon I started to think for myself and came to the conclusion that I don´t have to do this like it was suggested to me all those years and that certainly not every man has the same views on sex and relationships. Nobody told me that, though. It was a long process... True, most of them have similiar views and yes, a man who waits or would be okay with waiting is extremely rare. But still: not every man is the same. Not every woman is the same. We are all just human beings with so many complex layers. Generalizations and stereotypes make me sick somehow. So I still can´t quite comprehend how adults can be so full of assumptions to a degree so that they don´t even believe you that you are okay with not "getting it out of your system" (to use their words) that much. I mean, you are a grown man and you know yourself....and still they can´t believe you and are more likely to believe their assumptions that are probably ingrained in their brain. This makes me so...sad and furious somehow. And at the same time I think such behavior is simply...silly. I don´t know..some women might not be able to break out of their "assumption-prison" and they are not really to blame for it maybe. But I know also many people who are full of assumptions and are going to defend that assumption with intensity....and even if the assumption is true for the majority, it doesn´t mean it is true for everyone. Sorry....this topic is kind of close to my heart. I will shut up now regarding this, haha No, please don´t spare me! I´m interested in your talk! Haha, definitely agreeing on this. I think even if you already had like 20 or 30 sexual partners, there is going to be some talk needed with your significant other some day...I mean, sex is communication and I think it´s important to actually talk about stuff you like or don´t like or simply show it. I am not sure what to think about those statements from those women.... Well, they do care apparently....even one partner is not enough according to what women have told you. The more past partners, the better. I think many women want their partner to had sex with many women before them....because of the then not necessary teaching (in their opinion) and because then their partner "got it out of his system". There are also some WTM-women who would like their partner to have had some sexual partners in the past. To each their own, of course! I think, most things come down to the motivation behind it...Not wanting to teach is a really weak reason in my opinion, though. Why is teaching perceived as so bad, anyway? Honestly, teaching a guy what to do sounds like fun to me. Not a burden. Not at all. Maybe I´m weird, haha. Okay, this is getting so long. I should end my post here