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Everything posted by nygirl

  1. Hello, all!

    I am so excited to have found this community! I had no idea there were so many people out there who share this wonderfully unique aspiration to wait. This makes me just feel really happy and thrilled! I really look forward to posting here and joining the discussion on this very important topic! As a woman living in the promiscuous and permissive United States of America, I am constantly surrounded by people who have not waited. In fact, I dated some guys who didn't wait! It was an experience, to say the least. I have felt very alone in my journey towards marriage, and often my hopes of a wonderful, pure marriage have been thwarted. It's frustrating and has made me just feel a bit bitter towards people. It's great to know that I have found this community of people who understand. As I said earlier, I look forward to posting here
  2. Sex was meant for one man, and one woman inside of a marital relationship. If I did disobey the Lord's decree in this matter by having premarital sex, I would certainly never have sex again with any other person. If the man I had sex with decided not to marry me, I would live a life of celibacy.
  3. I don't believe in having sex outside of marriage, and I'm perfectly fine with not getting married for a long time, if ever. To me, the work that's put into a relationship is way more trouble than any perceived benefit of getting to have sex. Some day the Lord may put a man in my life who is worth the effort of marriage, but until then I'm not too fussed about it
  4. Baby Daddy

    Eh as I've mentioned before, I work for a lawyer so I see a lot more of this stuff than most people do. Yeah, you get your odd parent who is out for vengeance but I'd say 8/10 times when a parent goes after another parent for child support it's because of a change of circumstances that warrants a change in the level of support. It's okay to fear the situation, of course, but you're a lot less likely to run into that problem than you think you are
  5. Baby Daddy

    Fair enough I still have many problems with your opinion, but it is an opinion that you are entitled to have and arguing with you about it won't do us any good.
  6. Baby Daddy

    You said, and I quoted, "It would not work if her kids refused to see me as their father." That sounds like an expectation to me. And I'm not accusing you of anything in regards to having a detrimental effect on the mother/child relationship, I'm simply pointing out a different way of looking at the issue.
  7. Baby Daddy

    The parent with custody of the child *is* entitled to reasonable support from the noncustodial parent based on their respective incomes. It's not bad for the custodial parent to expect the noncustodial parent to share responsibility for the child they created together. Also, if you're dating a guy who doesn't want to pay or tries to avoid paying his 17% then you are dating a loser.
  8. Baby Daddy

    I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to call you out on that. Why should her kids see you as their father, especially if you come into their lives when they're older? Just because you love their mom, does not mean you automatically win their trust. I would much rather have a stepchild be suspicious of me and make me win them over than have them immediately accept me as their mother. It's indicative of an emotional instability in the child to quickly attach emotionally to the person one of their parents is dating, and it also places a huge burden on the relationship. You could easily become stuck in a position of - "Dang, this relationship is kind of sucking, but I don't want to leave because these kids really look at me as their dad and I don't want to hurt them." Far better for a child to hang back for fear of being injured than for them to jump into a parent/child relationship with arms wide open. To me, expecting a child to accept you as a parent before marriage is akin to expecting your partner to have sex with you before marriage.
  9. Sure, why not? I've actually done this before, and while none of the people ended up being love matches for me (one guy even started texting me and pressuring me for bad photos... blecchhhhh), it was still always an experience and a good way to grow in confidence and social skills
  10. Celebrity Crush?

    I approve of this entire list. Especially the last two.
  11. It's perfectly possible. I know this from personal experience, as well as from my belief that our Lord and Savior can make anything possible.
  12. Ladies, would you lie to spare a BF's feelings?

    Texting to me is like a demon when it comes to interpersonal relationships. As you said, it makes things so hard to interpret. Good for you for having the courage to speak with her face to face on the topic!
  13. Greetings and Praise Jesus!

    Praise Jesus indeed. It is great that you are so bold with your faith.
  14. Does WTM lead to rushed marriages?

    I don't think it's rushing as long as you know in your heart the person you're marrying is the one the Lord wants for you to be with!
  15. Why is virginity so important to you?

    Virginity is important to me because I'm very strongly attracted to the idea of mental purity. I know it's impossible to achieve 110% but the idea that I'm keeping myself for one guy, and one special guy out there is intentionally keeping himself for me is just amazing.
  16. I didn't say there MUST be attraction, it's just that physical attraction happens naturally when you have a connection with a person. Do you have any ability to deal in subtleties orrrr? I feel like I'm wasting my time talking to you tbh :/
  17. Okay, I'm glad to hear you say that because you were going after me like physical attractiveness is the only important thing out there, which it's not.
  18. Anyone who relies mainly on appearance-based deal-breakers IS shallow and does need to grow up. That is my opinion, and I'm not going to be shamed out of it.
  19. I'm not even trying to disrespect you mate, so cool off eh? I'm just saying that there are things that are much more important to the success of a couple's relationship than any physical attribute. To me, the mentality of purity is way more important than actual physical virginity, for example. I don't know you, and I don't know your relationship history, but most anyone who has had a meaningful relationship in their life will agree with me when I say it doesn't matter how physically attractive/compatible a person is unless they have the crucial emotional compatibility with you.
  20. Okay, that's fine. Going back to what you said, I find it ridiculous to throw away an entire marriage because of something like that. I can see ending a marriage because of abuse or cheating or a hidden addiction that the person refuses to seek treatment for, but because my husband told me he was a virgin and then it turns out he wasn't? In my opinion that calls for counseling, not divorce.
  21. That is not what I'm saying. I'm saying that being all "I will never be physically attracted to anyone who doesn't have blue eyes/washboard abs/fill in the blank" is shallow. Of course I think physical attraction is necessary to an extent. What I think is ridiculous is saying "Oh hey, here's this perfectly lovely man who is emotionally compatible to me and who I'm attracted to but damn, he doesn't have those blue eyes I always wanted, so I guess he's not worth my time."
  22. Celebrity Crush?

    aw thanks As for what we were posting earlier about our crushes being virgins, I don't think that has much bearing because it's a fantasy, so it really doesn't matter
  23. I find the nit-picking that you described at the end of your post to be wrong. However, I don't think it's wrong to be attracted to your partner's appearance.