Invincible

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Everything posted by Invincible

  1. Hey WTM family, If you're reading this on March 1 or after, you're probably wondering why the site is still here. Well, as it turns out myself and a couple others are in contact with Mike and we are currently working out some sort of deal to keep this forum alive in it's current form in some way or another. I don't know how it will play out yet, but we're working on the details. I also don't want to jump the gun and promise that something will happen for sure at this point. All I can promise for now is that we're working on it. This forum means a lot to me and I know to many of you long time members as well. So as long as there's a chance to keep it running, it's worth fighting for. We'll see if we can even get the chatroom back up and running too. I'll keep you all updated once I have more information so stay tuned. In the mean time, Mike has agreed to keep this forum open until it transitions to a new hosting site . Also, if you want to check out the new Wix forum that Queen set up, here it is: https://savagenutritionist.wixsite.com/celibacy/forum
  2. GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE!!!!

    Hey guys, so here's an update: I regret to inform you all that the migration to the new platform isn't working out. It's a long and complicated story, but suffice to say that it doesn't look like this forum will be preserved long term. Sorry guys, I really tried but things just wasn't working out. But we still can rebuild. For all those still interested, please head on over to the new forum that Queen started below. It may not be the same as before but at least it's something. https://savagenutritionist.wixsite.com/celibacy/forum
  3. Traditional Relationship Guy pursues the girl, at least most of the time (asking out, paying for dates, proposing) Goal of dating is strictly for marriage (courtship) Girl stays home with kids while guy makes money after marriage Father is the leader, protector and stricter role with kids while mother is nurturing, tender and supporter. etc. etc...... Modern Relationship Both people pursue each other equally. Girl might ask guy out, pay for first date (or split bill) or propose Goal of dating may not have marriage as goal Both people may work or father may stay home with kids Little or no traditional gender roles involved etc...... Which do you lean more towards or are you somewhere in between?
  4. What is your sexual orientation?

    I'm half-bisexual, as in the half that allows me to produce babies.
  5. I think most of us have an ideal period of time where we hope to enjoy at least a couple years child-free in the beginning of a marriage. For those who marry young, say in their early 20's, could afford to wait almost a decade and still be within a good timeframe to have children. But for those of us in our 30's or older and still unmarried, we don't have that luxury. Lately I've been feeling like I have to give up on a dream of having any meaningful amount of time to spend just between myself and my future wife. I'm almost 33 and still no relationship and therefore nowhere near married. Even if I were to start dating a girl today, it would probably last at least 6 months to a year before we get engaged. So by the latest, I'd be 34 by the time of engagement. Then by the time I get married, I would likely be close to 35 and that's best case scenario. In all likelihood, it will take me a while to even find a relationship and by extension I'd be older than 35 by the time I marry. Even by today's standards, that's still pretty late to enter marriage. I won't have much choice to have children really early on because I'd like to have more than one child. I also don't want to be too old by the time they all reach adulthood and independence. Yet at the same time, I won't likely be able to enjoy much of a sex life because I'll have to jump into parenthood right from the get go. Being a parent tends to put a huge damper on a couple's sex life. So sex will be a rare occurrence, like once a decade rare. That's just the way it is. Sex is something I can foresee to be a really big need of my in a marriage and I would need it often. But I also don't want to put undue pressure on my future wife for sex since she will likely be exhausted a lot from taking care of our children all day. As much as I would want sex, I would rather she have it with me because she joyfully wants it, not because she begrudgingly goes along as a chore. Now to be clear, I don't feel like I "deserve" a long and great sex life simply because I am waiting longer than the average person. I'm simply disappointed that I waited so long yet the wait would likely be anti-climatic in terms of the fruits of the wait. I'm not even sure why I'm even posting this thread. I feel like I'm just complaining about apocalyptic worst-case scenarios that haven't actually happened yet. I mean, I get it. Life isn't fair and people will probably tell me to get over it and I probably should. I'm just saying this is something that has been really bothers me and I'm just putting my thoughts out there. It makes me envious of those who found the right one and married at a young age. They have the advantage of having all the time in the world to exclusively enjoy time just the two of them and also enjoy a long and satisfying sex life. I guess I just wanted to see if anyone else can relate to these thoughts.
  6. Yeah, I have heard people's sex drive changes with age, stress and life in general. Me personally, I have never experience a significant drop of sex drive in my life so far, at least not for a significant amount of time. Essentially, I've always wanted sex real badly. lol. Not saying that won't change in the future, I'm just saying it's unlikely But in terms of a future marriage, I'm not sure if I could be with a woman with little to no sex drive. I would want to find a woman who wants it just as much as I do. Which is a lot. lol.
  7. Getting ghosted

    Yeah, he's definitely ghosting you. He's not following through with made plans and not even making any effort to reschedule. On the surface it may seem like he is respectful of your boundaries and maybe he really is. But the fact that he started acting weird when you refused to go to his room I think is very telling. He wanted to see how far he could get away with physically. You don't invite someone into your hotel room in private just to have coffee. That's not how these things work. He wanted sex. When he realized he wasn't going to get what he wants, at least not as soon as he would like, he probably lost interest and isn't man enough to tell you straight up. You're honestly better off without him, if not because of the not waiting, then because shown he can't be honest with you. Personally, I don't see what's wrong with being upfront about waiting from the very beginning. The wrong person will run off immediately, but is that really a loss? Putting the cards on the table immediately will filter out who's not compatible with you and will spare you the emotional investment if you waited to tell him later. We don't need to wait other people's time and our own by investing in a relationship that isn't going to work anyways. The right person will stick around and admire you for it because he has already made the choice to wait himself.
  8. Thanks Queen. I really appreciate the encouragement. I don't think of myself as better because I am still a virgin. All I'm concerned about are the potential consequences of not waiting in the past that may affect my future relationship. If she has allowed God to heal her past then I would gladly accept her with open arms. I would not consider settling by any means if she is the right woman for me who otherwise didn't wait in the past.
  9. March 2012: Relationship status: Single Virginity status: Virgin WTM status: Always believed in waiting till marriage since I can remember. Today: Relationship Status: Still single Virginity status: Still virgin WTM status: Still strongly believe in WTM if not more so. Still never had a relationship or done anything physical. I always wanted to get married and start my own family. But I've kind of given up hope on that dream at this point in my life. I'm getting up in age, recently turned 35 and the older I get, the less chances of finding someone my age who's still single and waiting. If by some surprise it does happen, I had to come to terms the reality that she will almost assuredly not be a virgin. I'm ultimately okay with that, but for some reason, that bothers me a lot more today than it has in the past. I guess I just hate the feeling of always wondering if she is thinking of the previous guys while intimate.
  10. If you need me to explain this one, then you need to go back to kindergarten and learn how to read again. My favorite thing about girls is that they are easier to open up to. As guys, we have an unspoken rule never to show emotion around each other. But girls are more relational and are more understanding in that regard. I feel more comfortable being sensitive around girls so when I'm talking about matters of the heart, it's usually with a girl. That is something that I've always appreciated about girls. My least favorite thing about girls is how ridiculously irrational they can be sometimes. Particularly in the issue of them saying they want a nice guy but then go for the jerk. Then they stay with the jerk despite how badly he treats her out of the hope she will change him and because he's exciting!!!!! But logically, wouldn't you want to be with someone you didn't want to change in the first place? But that's a whole another topic and it's been beating dead horses to death already so I'l just leave it at that.
  11. Would you date/marry any of these? Being in a relationship with someone of a previous marriage or with kids can be tricky. More often than not, there usually will be a lot of baggage brought into the relationship, from trust issues to the constant reminder of a deceased spouse. When kids are involved, they can get in the way because you have to get their approval as well. There's a possibility that they may resent you for trying to replace their real. mom/dad. But despite all that, would you still date or marry any of these?
  12. How is this Site STILL standing?

    Hey everyone. The Facebook group hasn't been made yet. I'll get to it soon. I've just been super busy with a lot of things. Thanks for all your patience. When I create it, I'll announce it here.
  13. How is this Site STILL standing?

    @emily1030 Looks great! I think the contrast works really well so good job. Did you also want to make a second icon for the profile pic? Otherwise we could also use the rings and heart you got here as the profile pic. If we decide to use this design, I might need another copy of this without the words so I have enough white space to crop image evenly for the profile pic.
  14. This is inspired by Mike's "What's your worst experience with sexism?" Personally, I have never experienced any racism in my life at least that I know of. No one has ever been openly hostile towards me for my race, though I have been met with some instances of ignorance before: 1. Once in high school, this guy walked up to me and asked, "Vince, are you Chinese or are you Asian?" After my epic facepalm, I responded with, "Are you stupid or are you dumb?" 2. Yet another time in high school, someone asked me to say "hello" in my native language. I responded by saying, "hello." He laughed then became serious, "No seriously, say it in your native language." Another epic facepalm. It's pretty obvious that many people have this idea that Asians are all foreigners who have not successfully assimilated into American culture. Nine times out of ten, when people find out I'm Chinese, they ask me if I can speak the language. No one ever asks a white person if they speak German/French/Italian or a black person if they speak Kenyan or like a gangbanger (calm down everyone. It was a joke. Those who like my humor, go ahead and throw your heads back and laugh. Those of you who don't, just keep reading. I am not racist. I try to hate everyone equally, but it fluctuates depending on the day and the race of the person who cut me off while driving. It doesn't matter if you're white, black, Puerto Rican or vegetarian. I will hate you equally if you cut me off in the road. Well, if you're Asian I might especially hate you since we're stereotypically bad drivers. So for the good of public safety and our children, we shouldn't be allowed to drive by law.) Moral of the story: Don't be racist. Either love everyone equally or hate everyone equally. To do anything else would be just plain mean
  15. How is this Site STILL standing?

    @emily1030 I really like this design. It's clean and memorable so great work! I particularly like how the heart is in the middle between both rings. It gives it a message of unifying love. It's possible the heart may come off as feminine to some but I think that's unavoidable because I can't think of any other symbol as universally recognized for love than the heart. Maybe if we make the rings a more masculine color like blue, it could balance it out. But I think the grey background should stay since it provides a good contrast to make the heart (and rings if you change the color) stand out. Otherwise, I personally think the design is great overall unless anyone else has any other suggestions.
  16. How is this Site STILL standing?

    Okay good. I'm sure the topics won't be too hard to figure out. To be honest, I deactivated my FB about a year ago so I am so out of the loop of any site changes. But I will reactivate once we create the group.
  17. How is this Site STILL standing?

    Wow, I thought FB got rid of groups a long time ago. lol But sure, if groups allow topics threads and chat then lets do that instead of a page.
  18. How is this Site STILL standing?

    It does seem like the sign up page is broken. I just tried making a new account and it won't authenticate the security check even though I did it correctly. We can just make the FB page as a stand alone page without informing people of the forums to make things simpler. The newsfeed of the main page can act as threads where people can discuss topics. Like I said, it's not the same feeling as the forums but it's something. I think your graphic design skills will come in handy for the background image of the page and the icon logo. You can create whatever design you want as I'm sure it will look great no matter what. Take as much time as you need. Once you're finished, I'll set up the page and make you a fellow admin.
  19. How is this Site STILL standing?

    Thanks for your guys' confidence in me. Unfortunately, I don't think that will ever happen because Mike is unresponsive. Even if he did pass it on to me, I may not have the time to upkeep everything because I've been pretty busy myself. I only check in every now and then. But at the same time, I am deeply saddened to see this site die off. I've had some really great memories here. I too want to see this place live on and be an inspiration to others who are looking for a like-minded community. I'm just throwing out ideas here. But maybe we can start a Facebook page? I don't think we have one yet. It won't be the same as the forum but at least it's something people can join. I know not everyone has a Facebook, but it's something to think about. If we get enough people on board, maybe we can be admins of the page together? Another idea is doing a podcast. I did a few with Jegsy a while back and those were fun. Maybe we can bring that back.
  20. How is this Site STILL standing?

    Depends on what you mean by "management." As an admin, I can regulate access to forums for members and I can oversee what goes on in threads. But in terms of maintaining the servers and upgrading the software, only Mike can do that. He isn't exactly motivated to act upon these things even if he gets continuously gets pestered. So you're welcome to keep emailing him and hope he does something about it, but I'm not holding my breath.
  21. How is this Site STILL standing?

    I guess Mike just gave up on maintaining the site. I think things started going downhill with the chatroom being gone. I miss the good old days when this place was busy. But people move on and so does life. That's just the way it is.
  22. Sounds like you had vaginismus, or involuntary contractions of muscles around the...female area. From what I heard, it's more common than most people think. I personally know another girl how had the same obstacle having sex for the first 6 months of her marriage. I know women who experience this feel inadequate to say the least, but it's not your fault at all. From what I understand, it isn't a permanent condition and can be treated over time. Good to know you got through it and congrats on successfully waiting. Enjoy your hard-earned rewards
  23. I'm going to sound like a traditionalist a lot in this reply. I think this trend of delaying marriage for the sake of career growth is part of the attempt to break down the family unit. Society doesn't value marriage like it used to. Instead of it being seen as this great thing that can enrich your life, it is seen by many as a hindrance to your life if not an outright prison. This type of mindset seems to be primarily a Western World phenomenon and not really in anywhere else in the world. We have become so hyper-individualistic in our values that career and the success that comes with it is seen as the ultimate goal in life. The rationale behind career first, marriage later is that one must have all their ducks in a row financially before starting a family. Of course it is good to think about having the ability to provide for a family. But one doesn't have to delay 5 or 10 years to reach Senior Manager position before you get married. A marriage is supposed to be a partnership. If two people can at least afford an apartment together then you're pretty much set to get married. Having a partner early in life can help take the financial burden of rent and other expenses off one person when both people are working before they decide to have kids. Plus I know many couples in our parents' generation whom were brought closer together during those early years of building a life together. Today's norm of delaying marriage seems like it is a novel idea that is foreign to the rest of history. To go along with the previous point, this hyper-individualism mentality also encourages people in their younger years to "find themselves." This is often a euphemism for partying, sleeping around and generally living a purely selfish lifestyle. The idea is marriage constricts personal freedom and therefore we are encouraged to spend our youth going crazy and put off marriage later. To me, this is so backwards. If someone desires to be married someday, then we ought to spend our years before in preparation for it. Part of it is learning how to be selfless not selfish. You cannot be completely selfish and expect your marriage to succeed. Wasting your youth feeding into a selfish lifestyle will make you less ready to marry, not more. I don't want to marry someone like that. It is discouraging enough that waiting is so rarely valued as it is without the added pressure of delaying marriage for careers.
  24. Why is virginity so important to you?

    I don't necessarily think you not wanting to be with a non-virgin has anything to do with forgiveness, but rather whether or not you are personally okay with dealing with potential consequences as a result of her not being a virgin. My views on this subject have changed dramatically in that I realize now more than ever that actions have consequences. So virginity is a bigger deal to me now than it was in the past. I would say continue to be open for God to change your heart. If He wants you to have a non-virgin for a wife, then have faith that He will give you the strength to work through that issue. But if not, then I don't think it's wrong to only want a virgin. I'm trying to do the same in my own life. I would hate to pass up on an amazing godly girl who happens to not be a virgin. I wish all young people could read this and take it seriously. Unless a person makes some serious amends to turn their lives around, wasting their youth sleeping around is not going to make them family material.
  25. I totally relate to this feeling so much. I'm approaching my mid-30's next year and it feels like I'm running out of time. As someone who wants kids, I don't have the luxury that young married couples have in waiting a few years before having them. If I do marry, I would have not choice but to have kids right off the bat. That means won't be much sex at all. While my future wife is pregnant and after giving birth, I wouldn't dream of burdening her with sex while she's recovering. When kids enter the picture, the less sex happens. I know life isn't fair, but I can't help but feel short-changed for exactly the reason you said. Many people typically enjoy casual sex in their youth for many years before they marry. For all I know my future wife may have experienced lots of sex before meeting me. Then there's me who chooses to resist my urges for many years and doing things the "right way," yet I will likely not get the chance to have much sex at all. Don't get me wrong, ultimately I'm waiting because it's the right thing to do. But some days I feel like what's the point in suffering in the wait when the pay off is so low? Everyone else (possibly including our future spouses) get all the fun when they're young, while we get the morsels. But on a more positive note, congrats on finding the one. I know the wait must have been really tough for you. But I sincerely hope you will be greatly rewarded for your patience.