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Everything posted by rookiepilot1

  1. Virgin Therapists: What would you do?

    This was good read, glad I stumbled across this!
  2. Never Met a Christian Man!

    This thread also is kinda old and the viewpoint(s), thoughts and ideas of the contributors have already been stated, however there were a couple things stated above that should be corrected: First: This is coming straight from the Bible not my words but 'His' Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. This is just a sampling of the words God has to say about sex and doing son unmarried. I totally agree with Vince on this though and it's such a sad sight to see to be honest. To sell 'The Word' short and water down the message just to accept the sins of the community. This is the by=product as I've said in previous posts on these forums of the church becoming a "for-profit" business. Which you'll ask the question where or how does the church the become for-profit??? It became for-profit when the Pastoral team and the church staff depend upon the "feel good" non-offensive message to draw their paychecks and their obtain their livelihood. However we're and yes I just said "WE" as I'm a hardcore Jesus Follower who attends church every weekend, and works on several ministry teams in addition to my "day job". However it is such terrible sight to see in the post modern church in which we live, where as even @Will H shared that the Pastor was okay with sex outside of the marital bed (Or Countertop, or Sofa or there's gotta be a reason why they call it the "Loveseat") However I digress: I go ahead and chime in on the original topic from @Dandy Lion As well as what @Hope7 There are lots of decent Christian guys out there though maybe we're often not the strikingly handsome guys with the 6-figure income, 6-figure pickup truck and 6-bedroom home overlooking the seashore but then as Christian folks we should be very wary of all those 6's anyhow, Lol!
  3. Have you ever experienced racism?

    Have I as an AA guy ever experienced racism, ... Well that's probably like asking me if I've ever been cold or hot. I'm thankful that I mostly grew up in SoCal away from the south where I was born where this sort of behavior was not only born but accepted by all. Growing up in the "liberal" SoCal melting pot meant that I had and still have friends from many diverse ethnic and racial groups. That I've not dated a lot but the couple women I've dated have been from diverse racial groups. It's meant that I was exposed to different cultures and backgrounds and began to develop my mindset and view of people as just human beings with different melanin production and features. Unfortunately yes I have experienced racism, whether that's been dating and maybe the girl her parents they "simply cannot imagine" their daughter being with a tall black guy. Or being pulled over for a simple, routine traffic stop and I'm handcuffed whereby my Caucasian friend who's actually the dude who's getting irate is simply told to calm down. Or systemic racism whereby that I'd apply for that job and as soon as I walk into the room office for the interview I know that they're looking for someone who doesn't look like me. But like I mentioned above I've been blessed to have lived a lot of my life in the Southwest and in very liberal parts of SoCal. That's meant that I've not received this for the most part as my way of living. However the dating thing does get to me more so than anything else and I've posted here on these forums about this topic. It's one of the only topics I've introduced actually. As I feel mostly most people aren't outwardly subjectively racist but it's the subtlety and "preferences" that are actually highly prevalent in racial groups. Or if not the person but their "family pressure" to be with someone from their own racial group/ethnic culture.
  4. sovereignty of God vs human dominion

    This is a very good topic, I'll post my commentary momentarily.
  5. Ahhhhh here's an oldie but a goodie (the topic I mean) My favorite thing about girls/women: I'd agree with what Vince said above about women being easier to "open up" to that's true. To add though they're also a bit more tactful you know. Like responding to things, say a text or email and more chatty as far as asking questions like how's your day or something. My least favorite thing: I dislike how at times most things have so much emotion behind them. That it seems as though women have greater difficulty dividing emotion and logic.
  6. Why is virginity so important to you?

    Reading through these replies though this post is years old and some of the members aren't even active on this forum any longer. But it's boosted my morale a bit with this waiting journey. I recently met someone in person from this online community and thought we had a decent friendship going but then things have gone "south". Therefore I'm a bit frustrated, some of you may know this but of this person shall remain nameless in good taste. Virginity has always been very important to me, first because of my faith relationship with a God. Though followed up by the the ideal that I want to only ever be with my wife. To Love her like no other before and give her that part of me and she do the same. Now that being said and I've struggled/wrestled with this as I've gotten older the idea of Dating/Courting/Loving/Marrying a non-virgin. I'm still undecided but if so I'd think about this way how could I hold her sin against her when God doesn't do that me or the rest of humanity of course. But I don't know I'm still in the contemplating stage of this idea. I just kinda want for it really mean something to her you know, but just sex and the physical stuff but rather the relational stuff where we can be authentic and upfront. I think/believe another virgin would understand this and it'd be significant for her you know. Again I don't know though, I'm still open to what God's plan is for my life.
  7. Here's a question I haven't given my two cents upon. Well maybe, ... I'm kinda tall at 6-6 so maybe a bit shorter. But overall a feminine version of myself yes I would, she'd be a Christian, have a depth of heart and be physically fit.
  8. Interesting reading your post DHZ, and I can say that I totally understand your comment. I happen to attend a very large mega-church and if folks simply attended one of the weekend services with a crowd of over 10,000 people either attending one service or on the hallways transitioning so that the next 5,000 told could be sat and enjoy the worship experience then that person would be lost in the crowd. Thankfully my church focuses a lot on groups and other activities to bring together like minded individuals. But not for the specific purpose of meeting and dating someone. May I suggest you might bring this idea or liven up the idea of it's already happening at your particular church. Maybe and this is something we do in our groups, go out after groups and have a meal, ice cream, hang out in a group setting. Not for the purpose of meeting someone, but just for the community and fellowship. Enjoy the season of bachelorhood man, not in an irresponsible way of course. But also remember marriage is till death do you part. Hahahaha I don't quite understand why some of us are in such a hurry to find someone. We should try to enjoy and be productive in the season of our singleness. A couple points: It's kinda tough to be able to volunteer a reasonable amount when you've got toddlers at home to tend to. (First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes, ...) Then of course your disposable income will be reduced, a person might not be able to help with charitable causes as much when you've got a family to support. Secondly I think it's good to have waited a while before marriage and have practiced and built some skills and character traits to lean upon in marriage.
  9. The Bible & Wifely Submission

    I'm late to this discussion but glad to have read such an interesting debate from both sides of the figurative and literal interpretation of the scripture from Ephesians, 2 Peter, Colossians Etc. As follower of Christ my position is of course unequivocally stated alongside the scriptures!
  10. A woman's voice

    To toss in this guy's opine on the matter,... I like a variety of voice tones and find the tone much more impresses me then than simply the pitch. That goes along with Skald said above, which by the way happy belated birthday. I also have a musical ear though and fine lots of objectivity in the "preferences" as it's more about the "total package" and "whole person" than any single attribute about a woman that I find preferable and attractive. Hope I've answered I've your question.
  11. Relational Comfort and Shaving Habits

    A thought from a guy here about the matter, ... Do you think possibly it's that she might be continuing to shave as per the usual times that she has been. Just that as relationships progress people typically begin spending more time together. Therefore is she expected to maintain "baby soft" legs and possibly other areas each time you two see one another? Or possibly as others have alluded to above has the relationship evolved now to the place whereby the two folks have much more in common than just checking to see if your partner's legs and possibly other areas are "up to stuff" 100% of the time. Now of course I agree with Emily and Invincible above that partners certainly when evolving to the point of marriage that each person "keeps themselves up". As well as continues to romance one another and remind them why they're building and doing life together. However I would think some day when/if marriage is in my future that when I'm hungry for some loving a little stubble wouldn't cause me to be less attracted to my wife. Just as I'd hope that because I've been consume lately with a project at work and haven't been quite so romantic that my wife wouldn't withhold her marital duties because of this. Finally made it to post number 400, woo hoo.
  12. Female Body Hair

    Another guy's opinion: There are certainly other things I find unattractive just from an aesthetic viewpoint like way excessive makeup and unnatural hair colors. But body hair, yes I think it's more "feminine" to reduce body hair as I'm an American male therefore I'm slightly engineered to think this way. Now that being said God did create women with body hair but he also gave both genders the choice to remove it. Therefore the final conclusion is as long as she's not hairy than I am I wouldn't find some body hair to be unattractive.
  13. Tattoos

    I'm not totally against tattoos, but as agreed upon above ones that are on the face (definitely) hand and neck are dealbreakers. Simple ones of family members and events past, symbols of faith and scriptural references are okay. Though as the saying goes "less is more".
  14. Preparing for better and against worse in marriage

    What about you? What do you think about this ? Thanks for reply and opinion I agree as Christians it should be our first and foremost goal to please, honor, one and love God first certainly even in marriage as in a way aren't we "married" to Christ as the church is the bride. Yes that's correct we definitely fall short as Paul lamented there in Roman's 7 before he dives into the "grace chapter" in chapter 8. That's also a very good verse, example there in 1 John chapter 2 thanks for highlighting that. Oh yeah that's the Advocate we enjoy and have living inside of us that allows us to fellowship with God. That's why when sometimes my buddies say things like wishing they lived during the scriptual period, yet we enjoy the fellowship of God's Holy Spirit living inside of us. How can another time be better, greater than this? That is correct, Christ is not wish fulfiller, but rather our savior, Lord and even as Peter described in the opening words of his second letter to the Apostles or what we refer to as 2nd Peter he says we are yet bondservants or slaves in another translation. You pose a really, really good statement there the word idolatry. How many folks idolize and hold up upon a pedestal their spouse. As though every need, want and desire should and could be fulfilled by that person? I think about in my own life and this is within a small Bible study group I'm using for reference. Maybe you can relate feel free to PM me if you'd rather. When dating, how many people fall away from their growth and began waning in fellowship during the course of the relationship? That's certainly a very matured faith speaking there, wow. Kudos and Amen Yes when each party enters into a marriage thinking not of bring served but of serving one another then certainly good things grow from there. You did certainly answer my question and I'll comment upon the video momentarily. So far it's been pretty good though I like a lot of the material Francis Chan and his wife Lisa produce they collectively have such a giving heart and spirit for ministry. God is doing great things through them.
  15. Let Him Pursue You! Attracting a Godly Guy…

    That was also also a good read And it's certainly true if a guy desires a woman, even the most passive guy will pursue her. She can assist as the writer above mentioned about "flirting" showing interest and responding to his interest. Good stuff
  16. Preparing for better and against worse in marriage

    That's a really good article and post there Geraldine thanks for sharing. I just wonder if at times are we as Christians looking to find mates/partners who are being perfected into Christ image as the term "Christian" implies. Or are we looking to find "perfect" mates/partners who live entirely up to our expectations and fulfill all of our needs, desires, wants. That serve us rather than the purpose of marriage to serve one another. What do you think?
  17. I don't know all the details here nor do I know your specific church. However I have been in the "church" most all my life and I have seen instances like the one you've described DHZ. Have you tried as has been suggested befriending some of the young ladies "bridging the gap" between the genders. Maybe setup and organize a hangout with a group. It seems like this is an ingrained issue or even a safety measure within this specific community. However hanging out as a group will have many positives, first it'll allow each of you to get to know each other in a comfortable pressure free environment. Secondly you'll get to know some of the young ladies individually in a way that you cannot at this point from a distance. Where you might find the girl you like from a distance who seems pretty and wonderful is simply not your type once you've gotten to know her and vice versa of course. To add have you prayed about this issue, take it to God and I believe he'll answer according to his will.
  18. The Power of a Kiss Saved

    That was a good read I certainly liked the fact that they were striving to honor God.
  19. Romantic song :)

    I just cannot choose "A" song Sunshine by the O'Jays Love Song for a Savior, Jars of Clay You and Promise, Howie Day City of Black and White, Matt Kearney Cry to together, the O'Jays Porcelain Heart, Barlow Girl She loves me back, Luther Van Dross Worth the Wait, Philmore I was made to love her, Boys 2 Men Annie, SafetySuit Hello, Lionel Richie I dreamed of it a lifetime, Philmore (again) I don't regret, Barlow Girl In no particular order, I could keep at it drawing songs from my personal collection, but I digress.
  20. Cohabitation

    Thinking objectively I could see the economic benefit however I believe it is outweighed by the drawbacks of temptation, the views of the community though we say that we don't really care what others think about us. To add: The idea of a partner having cohabitated in the past, well I'd say it's a dealbreaker for me, as I'd assume strongly that not only was she against waiting but had gone entirely against the moral fabric of the principle of waiting by "playing" married with a former partner.
  21. The sin is sin argument

    Great point above from GP On one level, all sins are equal in that no matter how trivial they seem, they all deserve God's "wrath and curse, both in this life, and that which is to come, and cannot be expiated but by the blood of Christ." No sins are small when committed against a great and generous God. Beyond this, however, the gravity of each transgression depends on varying factors. In the Lord's prayer, we ask for forgiveness for our transgressions, not our sins, as Christ paid for these at the cross. To add to this point, there's 1 Corinthians 6, where Paul laments that "Every other sin is outside the body, ..." And continues in verse 19 by stating that our bodies are "temples of the holy spirit as a reason why we should honor God with our bodies. Aren't there Sins, Transgressions, and Inequities?
  22. Great read Geraldine, thank you for sharing!
  23. Are STDs a deal breaker?

    Wow, great topic actually and something I've never really put too much thought into for a couple specific reasons. One of which is that I have always figured the probability of me marrying a 'Non-Waiter' is likely very low. So that sort of answers that question right there in a nutshell. But I think it's more important even than that, and maybe I'm thinking too far into this this topic but the "reason" for marriage is what, sex. And the "reason" for sex is of course bonding between married folks, but certainly not to be superseded by the need to reproduce. Therefore, reproducing with someone who has an STI/STD, the chances of them passing along that disease to the child during birth, I speaking as a man here. But her passing along that disease to our child and it affecting our child's health, well that's very concerning to me. I'm thinking of the choice I have to marry and have children with this person, however our children don't have that ability to make that choice? It's like the person, whom i'd definitely love and be with till death do us part, however that is still quite an overwhelming thought isn't it? The past isn't always just a person's past, but the ramifications of those choices, we have to live with as well, those whom we've yet to think of.
  24. When marriage begins

    I'm gonna go along and side with my fellow Christian folk on this matter, however I wanna lean in just a bit further. In the account of Jesus' mom and dad, Mary and Joseph, scripture reveals that they were betrothed (Engaged!). And that following the news Gabriel delivers to Mary about her being chosen to conceive Jesus, Joseph considered breaking the the engagement. Now scripture states again and this is of course a huge deal and Joseph wanted to do so without shaming her. The text even goes so far as to at one point name Joseph as her husband. (Scriptural reference, Luke 1:34, Matthew 1:19) Now contrast this to how engagement is viewed in our society and much of the 'westernized' world today. Folks often choose not to marry for a variety of reasons and just call it quits. Disputes over who keeps the ring, social media exploits to garner attention, infedility, and of course the blame game. So now this brings us back to the question at hand, 'when does marriage really begin?' Is it when the vow or promise that I make stating that I do want to spend the rest of my life with her? That nothing short of becoming pregnant with child should stop us. That even if so, shouldn't it be done with respect and honor, not in the ways listed above with disputes and such.
  25. Hello everyone

    Welcome Derek, you hit the nail right upon the head with that statement! This one: Quote: 'One thing I notice about a lot relationships is that far too many people focus more on the sexual part of the relationship and very little on other parts of the relationship. As a result a lot of relationships have ended due to the fact that couples didn't have a strong connection.' Ditto, I concur