White Rose

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Everything posted by White Rose

  1. A bit of a heavy question I'm afraid, and I probably won't make any sense to anyone because I'm currently running on about 3 hours sleep, but... Are WTM people prejudiced against non-WTM people? I personally feel that as a community, we definitely judge non-WTM people, to an extent. I don't see how you could look down on a person just because they didn't wait till marriage to have sex. Waiting isn't for everyone. There are feelings, circumstances. Sometimes there are regrets. But it doesn't mean we should judge or look down on them for it. I'm only bringing this up because I recently entered into a relationship with someone who has already had sex. I do not know whether it has been with more than one person, but he has had sex. (He now knows of my WTM and respects my boundaries and hasn't done anything more than I feel comfortable with.) When I first found out that he had slept with other girls, I have to admit, it hurt. I felt hurt because I felt that somehow, he hadn't respected me, and hadn't been faithful. Which is ridiculous, because I didn't even know him whilst he was with other girls. I started to question him a lot, and judge him a lot. I even questioned at one point whether it was worth continuing the relationship. Looking back, I realise how ridiculous it was to feel that way. As I say, waiting is not for everyone. All that matters to me now is that he is currently waiting for me. I could've lost out on continuing my story with this amazing guy, just because I hadn't taken the time to understand his sexual past. In a similar way that he'd taken the time to figure my, well, non-sexual past. (and present. and forseeable future haha). I do not want to single anyone out on this forum. But does anyone here feel that we do prejudice against non-WTM, or that they would have something against a person if they did not wait? EDIT: I also appreciate that there are some people on here who believe that sex before/outside of marriage is a sin.
  2. I wasn't sure if this had already been asked somewhere, but I couldn't find it so I figured I'd just start my own. Where do you stand on gay marriage? Is it legal where you live? Do you agree/disagree? I'm just interested because in the UK where I'm from everything seems to be kicking up about gay marriages. Currently gay couples are allowed 'civil partnership' (I'm not entirely sure of the difference between civil partnership and marriage but I know that there is a difference) but now the Church seem to be having issues with the Governments proposed plans to allow gays to marry as opposed to 'enter civil partnership'. I believe everyone should be allowed to marry. But probably not everyone will agree with that.
  3. Not so much a 'hello' as a...

    I'm leaving the site, and I'm also, well, not completely absolishing the idea of waiting till marriage, I'm just being a little bit looser with it so that I'm not spending my whole life living up to this huge standard which I don't think is healthy for me with my particular personality
  4. Goodbye. I am leaving WTM.org because I feel as though I have made this commitment at too young of an age when I was too inexperienced. The decision to WTM isn't making me happy, and I've done a lot of thinking, and, although I will still save sex only for loving, committed relationships, I don't want to live until my wedding night with the pressure of waiting until my wedding night. I mean, who knows, I could still end up remaining a virgin until marriage. I just can't plan these things. This website has been so very helpful to me over the last few months, and I've learnt a lot about myself, so I thank you all. You're all wonderful strong people and I admire your strength to WTM and your kindness of helping other like minded people. Much love, White Rose
  5. Not so much a 'hello' as a...

    Thank you! <3
  6. What is your #1 hobby?

    SINGING!! ♥
  7. Do you think that 15 is too young to make a legit decision about WTM? I mean, I have made a decision about it... and I do want to wait but it's just that I've never even had a boyfriend or kissed a boy (because boys just aren't interested in me :/) so how will I know that I'll be able to abstain if I were to enter a relationship with a boy? Should I atleast go out and have some (non sex) experience? This all sounds a bit weird, sorry :S
  8. Me and my boyfriend met at a party! We were both friends with the girl who had the party but he doesn't live in my town so I'd never met him before... I'm so so so glad I met him!! He's not a waiter though,so, I don't have any waiter-specific advice :')
  9. One Desired Talent

    Mine would be drawing or playing piano!
  10. White wedding dresses on non-virgins

    I thought of this too! I absolutely love this show, especially little Karen! :') xxx
  11. Peer pressure

    My aunty gave birth to a beautiful baby boy when she was perhaps 41 or 42. Statistics may be daunting, but it isn't impossible. You can do it if you have the faith, darling <3
  12. Peer pressure

    Does anyone else think that there is a lot of peer pressure put on young people to have sexual relationships? I was just thinking about this today. I'm only 16, but I definitely feel like there is a lot of pressure put on young people to include sex in their relationships. It probably doesn't help that we're surrounded by media that promotes sex, from a very young age. I was thinking to myself... well, I'm in a relationship, but I'm not having sex in it. We'll make out, but we won't have sex. At age 16, I would much prefer to have a cheesy, teenagey relationship, based on cute love letters and infinite friendship, being cheesily romantic, going out on cute dates, or just curled up on the sofa watching the F.R.I.E.N.D.S. box set... without having to be dealing with having sex at a young age. Most people I know who have lost their virginity, lost it at around 15. FIFTEEN. From now on, sex will be a massive influence in their future relationships (and thus lives). I think that's sorta sad. There's other ways you can be having relationships while you're in high school. Even if I wasn't going to wait all the way to marriage, I can wait until I'm in my twenties at least to even start thinking about sexual relationships. I take that as a good thing. Basically the point of my ramblings is that I think there is so much pressure on young people to have sex, not only by their peers, but by the media and etc.
  13. there's a topic about that somewhere I think
  14. Infidelity

    "But sex is no more a moral issue than eating a good meal." What?! What?! Just, I just, I can't. Just, ugh. That sentence. That article. Wow, I just, what?!
  15. Wow, guys, I think maybe you gotta think practically here. You wouldn't be able to forgive someone if they had had even one sexual partner in the past? Do none of you guys think you'd be able to look past that?
  16. Okay guys, I'm going to have to open up here and get a little personal, because I know that you guys are the best people I know for advice on waiting till marriage. In case you guys don't know me too well, I'm 16 years old, and for the last 2 and a half months I've been in a relationship with the most amazing guy I've ever met. He's also 16 (well, he's nearly 17 actually). He's known since before we were in a relationship about my decision to wait till marriage. Prior to knowing him, I'd never even kissed a boy before, never mind anything further than that. However, fast forward 2 and a half months and... well, things have gone rather fast. I've always said that I'd go no further than second base until marriage (as in, I'd do second base but not third) but... well, I've already reached second base, and I know that my boyfriend is eager for things to move further. (He respects my decision to wait till marriage, but he isn't a virgin, has a higher sex drive than me, and I know he finds it very difficult when I am always telling him 'no'.) It's not that I wouldn't like to move further, it's just that I know that if things progress much further, both of us will reach a point where we can't say no, and it will lead to sex. The thing I'm finding hard to get my head around is... how absolutely beyond difficult it is to say no to your body's urges. Like, seriously. In the past 3 months I've learned that the hardest part about WTM is not what society thinks about your decision, it's not about being pressured by a partner (at least not in my case...), it's about having to abstain on your own personal urges. SO I'm just asking... HOW do the other people on this website manage it?! I mean, I'm sure that me and my boyfriend would be better if we spent less time, y'know, alone in the house, mostly making out or cuddling, but... we both just find it hard to say no because we both, y'know, we're attracted to each other. I've never physically been more attracted to anyone but him. I'm even starting to regret my decision of waiting till marriage... except there is still a lovely sensible voice in my head saying, "No, Bethany, don't do it. Wait till marriage or at least till you've found your marriage partner." I'm so confused.
  17. Wow, thank you everyone! You've given me such wonderful advice! I appreciate all of your thoughts and replies. ) Just a couple of things I want to say... First of all, no, I'm not religious. I do sometimes pray, but it's usually more like inner prayer/self reflection rather than a prayer to God. Second of all, although, I agree, it is usually me putting the brakes on things, my boyfriend does play his part too. He will always ask me before we do something if I am comfortable with doing it. And if I'm not comfortable with something, he won't push it. He actually said to me the other day, "I don't care whether you want to do that or not. I still love you." Idk, I thought that was a little cute :3 He's never pressured me into doing anything I don't want to do. Like, if I say no to something, he won't say "Please" or kick up a fuss. Time will tell whether things get harder or easier for us. Probably harder. Who knows. Thanks for being there for me guys!! ) EDIT: I don't know if this makes any difference to anything, but our relationship is... well, in the grand scheme of things, it's not a very long distance at all (it'd seem like nothing to you people in the US I'm sure!) but when you factor in that we're both at different colleges, both only 16, live 12 miles apart from each other, and both have to rely on parents giving lifts or public transport, then it is kind of like a long distance relationship. So, I see him maybe only once a week at the most, or once every ten days. Doesn't really change anything but just though you should know.
  18. I can see myself having children... but I wouldn't want to have them too young. Although I plan on marrying young, I would like to live out my life as a married woman without children before I do decide to have children. The thought of childbirth actually terrifies me somewhat. But that's a different story.
  19. Too Young...?

    ^Thank you! Aw that means a lot :') ♥
  20. Too Young...?

    I'm looking back at this topic 6 months after writing it and so much has changed in my life! I'm now 16, in a relationship, still waiting till marriage, and I'm so glad I've made this decision and stuck with it. It is more difficult than I thought, to abstain, especially when things get a bit heavy, but both me and my bf know when things are getting too far, and either one or the other of us will put the brakes on. (He's not waiting till marriage, he's already had sex, but he's waiting for me) thanks for all your support guys! :')
  21. I think, actually, the only scenario where I wouldn't wait till marriage is if I was in a long term relationship. I.e, so long term that marriage becomes likely. I've found that the only times where I want to have sex in when I'm in a relationship, therefore if I wasn't in a relationship I wouldn't feel the need to cave.
  22. The Question Game

    My first crush! Ahahaha. I was 10 years old, and the guy was called Callum and I used to sit next to him in class at primary school. I liked him for over a year! I was actually quite good friends with him, considering the fact that I was (and still am) entirely socially awkward, and most people (including all his friends) hated me. But yeah. It was cute. He moved to Australia at the start of secondary school though, so I guess we were never meant to be Hmm... Do you wear perfume/some sort of cologne /(aftershave?? does that count??) often? What's your signature scent, if you have one?
  23. "Revealing" your WTM

    I've told my boyfriend, and a few of my friends, and everyone I've told has been respectful of my decision, even if they do not share the same views as me, which I'm very grateful for.
  24. The Question Game

    Least favourite food...hmm... probably haggis. It just disgusts me. I don't know what other questions have been asked in the thread, so, sorry if this is a repeat, but... If you could use any 1 colour to describe your personality, what colour would it be?
  25. "Pet" Names

    My boyfriend calls me Sweetie all the time :') or sometimes darling, beautiful, my love, or Beff / Beffbeff. I love it, it makes me feel fuzzy inside :')