I have read just about every single topic in this forum, and it has been a great help to me. I have a very tough situation on my hands. My boyfriend is Catholic, and I am still struggling with my religion (I am Christian but am still deciding if I want to be Catholic or not). I am 20, he is 18, and we have been together for two and a half years. WTM was our original plan, but unfortunately temptations got the best of us... and we have been having sex for the past year. It was more him who wanted to wait than me, but I respected his decision. Off and on since we started, we have stopped for months at a time and then deciding to do it again because we are in love and are absolutely, 100% planning on getting married. We have the ring all picked out; we're just waiting until he has enough money to buy it.
My boyfriend has recently been trying to work on his faith and his relationship with God. He wants to get a tattoo of a Bible verse but does not want to get it until he feels like he is living for God completely, so he needs to make a few changes, not having sex included. I tried not to be, but I was very hurt when he told me this, seeing as we have been living this way for so long and are planning on getting married in the next year or two. But I am going to do it for him. I told him that if we are going to abstain from sex, we are also going to abstain from everything else. Meaning no other sexual activities, no clothes coming off, and no inappropriate touching.
My question is, do you think this means anything? We already lost our virginity to each other, and the ONLY thing stopping us from getting married is money, so why does it matter anymore? I really want to understand but I just can't. It just hurts me because every time we had sex, I felt like our relationship grew, making us closer and more intimate. It wasn't sex to me, it was making love. And it was to him, too, but he feels guilty for it. That's what kills me.
I actually don't know what my question is here, and I apologize that this was so personal, but I just want to hear your thoughts.