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Everything posted by jackiebrim

  1. Princess Zelda, I'm glad you told me that. I'm glad to hear there are others in my situation. Yes, that is quite unusual that the guy made that decision, as it is in my case as well! And thanks for the welcome, Ian. I plan on being part of this forum to get the perspectives of those who are waiting/have waited! I do not regret having sex; I am just glad I got to share it with the person I am going to marry and hope it will be that much more special on our wedding night.
  2. Hi everyone, I have read just about every single topic in this forum, and it has been a great help to me. I have a very tough situation on my hands. My boyfriend is Catholic, and I am still struggling with my religion (I am Christian but am still deciding if I want to be Catholic or not). I am 20, he is 18, and we have been together for two and a half years. WTM was our original plan, but unfortunately temptations got the best of us... and we have been having sex for the past year. It was more him who wanted to wait than me, but I respected his decision. Off and on since we started, we have stopped for months at a time and then deciding to do it again because we are in love and are absolutely, 100% planning on getting married. We have the ring all picked out; we're just waiting until he has enough money to buy it. My boyfriend has recently been trying to work on his faith and his relationship with God. He wants to get a tattoo of a Bible verse but does not want to get it until he feels like he is living for God completely, so he needs to make a few changes, not having sex included. I tried not to be, but I was very hurt when he told me this, seeing as we have been living this way for so long and are planning on getting married in the next year or two. But I am going to do it for him. I told him that if we are going to abstain from sex, we are also going to abstain from everything else. Meaning no other sexual activities, no clothes coming off, and no inappropriate touching. My question is, do you think this means anything? We already lost our virginity to each other, and the ONLY thing stopping us from getting married is money, so why does it matter anymore? I really want to understand but I just can't. It just hurts me because every time we had sex, I felt like our relationship grew, making us closer and more intimate. It wasn't sex to me, it was making love. And it was to him, too, but he feels guilty for it. That's what kills me. I actually don't know what my question is here, and I apologize that this was so personal, but I just want to hear your thoughts.
  3. Thank you for all your help. One more question: how can I help him feel less guilty and when it finally happens on our wedding night, how can I make it seem more special?
  4. You are absolutely correct. Our relationship has never been about sex. We decided to do it when we were already at a point where we knew we would be each other's first and only partner. All I know is what we know about each other's feelings, but I feel like others would judge us. Not that it matters what others think... Also, I think it would be weird to talk about with a priest, don't you think?
  5. It's not only the money. He thinks he can talk to the priest at his church and see if there is anything he can do. His family is all for us getting married right now; my family is the problem. They love my boyfriend to death, and they want us to get engaged, but they don't want us to get married until we are out of school because of practical reasons (mainly health insurance and financial burdens like that). It would be very hard to get my dad's blessing. By means anything, I just meant have we already ruined it? Have we already ruined the specialness (I know that's not a word lol) of it, and are we just being hypocrites by deciding to wait after we've already done it?