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Everything posted by Bekah84

  1. I can relate to you in many ways . Though I am female and have the added pressure of the biological clock. I have my days too. It's normal. I'll be 29 in a few months and thought I'd be married and a mother by now. I get frustrated. Wonder why I am waiting. Wonder why it's taking so long to meet Mr. X. , To feel like I'm missing out . Ther have been moments when I'm down right angry or sad about it etc etc I know what it's like to need to rant or vent. You know what? That's ok. We're human beings meant to have a wide range of emotions. It's healthy. Personally, I'm a bit suspicious of folks that claim to be 100% happy and positive all the time. Sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes waiting simply sucks. No lecture from me. But something that helps me sometimes is to think of waiting as a book "The Story of Us" and right now is the while we were becoming stages each of you doing your solo thing then Bam! One day we'll meet and start the chapters of us together. I don't know if or when that will happen, but sometimes that helps me. As for if you should continue waiting All I will say is you don't have to be a Christian to wait. You can be completely non religious. You also don't have to wait at all. I can't choose for you but whatever way you choose don't let guilt or fear be your motivator. For me waiting has to come from with it can't because your religion, your parents, siblings, friends etc they can all be great inspiration but it has to be something you want for yourself. Cheers!
  2. It absolutely irks me when people imply that single people aren't happy with themselves are projecting negativity and that is why they are single.
  3. Happy Friday/weekend!

    It's Friday here in the States and I cannot wait for my weekend to start! What are your plans? I'm having something done to my hair tomorrow.
  4. It's something I think worry about. You are not alone in that. Lately I've been thinking I might adopt a child if I hit my late 30s with no husband in sight. I'd like to adopt even if I'm married, but I'll go at it on my own as well. I'd rather have a partner.
  5. Based only on the people I know it seems like people choose "the one" when they are tired of the dating scene, and feel like they should settle down they marry the first person they get on decently with and that's that. It's not overly romantic or mystical but I do not mean to be cynical. I sometimes wonder if it's more than any of that
  6. Veering a bit off topic, but I don't really believe in the concept of "the one" as in the only human being on the earth for you so say the universe I believe we choose someone and make them into the one and only by working on our relationship and committing to them for a lifetime. I do wonder what makes someone decide to marry another person.
  7. Spicy Foods

    Love spicy foods generally speaking hotter the better one of my favorite snacks is stuffed jalapenos. I do think you can go too hot and it takes away from the other flavors in the food.
  8. Baby names?

    I have names I like ,but they are not etched in stone that's something that will have to be decided on later with future husband. But I have always liked names in general not related to future children, and what I like changes my current favorites are: Sadie Molly Elsie Eliza Bridget Zoey Joy Norah Iris Ivy Hazel Susannah Henry Elijah Oliver Samuel Jude Oscar Isaac Jonah Ezra Ira I tend to like classic names as first names middle names can be more creative like Eliza Liberty or Elijah Arrow.
  9. Haha it's funny you asked this question because I was just thinking of the possibility. Twins seem to be my lot in life. Though I'd think I'd rather be a mommy to twins. To answer your question I'd expect the same from a twin as a non twin I'd hope they'd have a loving and healthy relationship with family but be able to have appropriate boundaries with them so we could have a healthy relationship as husband and wife.
  10. Who here aspires to marry a wealthy man?

    Pretty much what you've said. Although for me I look for someone who is financially responsible with whatever money they have. I hold myself to the same standard more than job security because money and incomes can change rapidly and drastically. Because of how quickly a financial situation can change I look for someone with a willingness and creativity to do whatever needs to be done to meet needs. There have been many times in my life I have had to get creative to survive. I hope to marry someone with that same spirit. As Agarden mentioned the real wealth and value of a man/husband or woman/wife is what's in their heart and spirit.
  11. Who here aspires to marry a wealthy man?

    My very short answer without giving my reasons is no.
  12. My Boyfriend Says...

    I can't tell you what your boundaries should be nor can any one else here. All I can advise you to do is take some time for YOURSELF and figure out what you are comfortable with. Don't let yourself be bullied or pressured by people calling you a prude. If he can't respect what you are comfortable with is he really right for you? The thing I found most concerning in your post was that you were afraid to tell him no for fear of his reaction. You should never be afraid to tell your significant other ( or anyone else ) no. Sexually or otherwise. Do you really want to be in a relationship where you fear the consequences of telling him no or disagreeing with him? Again I can't tell you what to do, but tread very very carefully. Take it from someone who had a hard time saying no early in life.
  13. For me the oldest I've been interested in was 14 years older than I putting him in his early 40s at this point in my life I don't think I could go any older than that. I don't think I could date anyone younger than my youngest sister so no younger than 27. Honestly, I'm usually most interested in guys that are older than me, but as with everything else so much depends on the individual person. If he was a match for me in every other way I wouldn't turn him down because he was 44 or 26.
  14. Husbandly Duties

    A man that has belief in something. I am not a religious person, so he need not be religious, but I would like him to stand for something and not swayed by anything. A man who has kindness, respect, and compassion for all living things. A man who is patient and has control of his temper. A man that wants to be a parent and not just have children, and at the same time a man who will be ok if we are never blessed with the gift of parenthood. A man that can express his emotions in a healthy manner. Able to cry with me and Able to laugh with me. A man who will share in the household duties is willing to pitch in with nighttime feeds, cooking, laundry etc., and helping in other areas like taking an elderly in-law to the doctors or cutting their grass. A man who works hard in his field, but knows how to leave work at work and can relax and have fun just as easily. A man who is not threatened by, but admires and appreciates my strengths and man I can admire and appreciate his strengths whatever they are. A man that isn’t afraid to tell me when I’m being ridiculous, but still loving and respecting me for me. A man that is truly committed to “until death do us part†Understands that appearances change and though we may try to stay healthy illness can strike and that long lasting relationships is work. An awesome hugger. I love good hugs.
  15. Why do girls act so shy?

    As others have said it's not always an act. I tend to be shy around people unless I've known them forever it's extremely rare that I will open up to a person right away that takes a special quality. For some behaving in a shy manner could be their way of telling guys they are not interested or that the guy is coming on too strong with out actually saying " Back off ,buddy!"
  16. Suggest Songs

    To Whom It May Concern by The Civil Wars Joy Williams and John Paul White Why are you so far from me? In my arms is where you ought to be How long will you make me wait? I don't know much more I can take I've missed you But I haven't met you Oh how I want to How I do Slowly counting down the days Till I finally know your name The way your hand feels round my waist The way you laugh, the way your kisses taste I've missed you But I haven't met you Oh how I want to How I do How I do I've missed you But I haven't met you Oh I've missed you But I haven't met you Oh but I want to Oh how I want to Dear whoever you might be I'm still waiting patiently Sorry if this is a repeat I haven't read through the topic.
  17. Sports?

    Love to watch basketball and football . Grew up watching with my daddy. Don't play any sports sadly I lack the needed coordination. I'm a fan of all the New England sports teams.
  18. What is your career?

    I am a full time nanny and full time student working towards either a career as an CNM/PNP or a family physician. I have yet to decide between the two and will need to make choice next year, but I'm happy to finally have a focus it took me 7 years postgrad to get this far.
  19. On being "ugly"

    My honest thoughts I think beauty can found in almost anyone the exceptions being the people that have mean-spirited hearts and attitudes. That said I think there are people that are more physically striking than others with or without makeup. Personally, I consider myself average or ok as far as being physically striking. Both my sisters are physically striking it was not always easy to be the "ugly duckling" growing up, as I've gotten older I've learned to accept my own unique look it may not but be striking, but it's me and there is only one of me.
  20. “Judging other people�

    Forgive me because this is going to sound like rambling , but for me judging someone happens when I think myself better than they are or condemn them for choices they have made in their life that's not to say I cannot think certain behaviors are not beneficial. Example, I do not think it is beneficial to my life to have multiple sexual partners, but at the same time I do not turn my nose up at people who do. I think it is possible to think certain behaviors are harmful with out shaming those who engage in them. Am I making sense? If not I can try again later I'm working on 4 hours of sleep.
  21. Rude Kids

    Generally speaking, I think it's best to nip that behavior in the bud along with teaching and modeling appropriate behavior. Children need to be taught just as we teach them how to tie their shoes, brush their teeth, and use a fork and spoon we have to teach them to treat others with respect. Their first lessons in that is how you the parents treat each other and how you treat them as children. So yes talking. Now once they know a behavior is unacceptable the method of discipline to be applied for unacceptable behavior would depend on the kid. Again generally speaking the rule in my future home will be the same as my childhood home in which rudeness and disrespect towards others was not tolerated.
  22. I haven't lost faith yet. Last week was one of those weeks where I was tired. Thank you all for being so supportive. I'm glad I found this site. It's good to be able to vent to people who " get it".
  23. Allow me a minute to wallow in self pity. I'm feeling a bit down. The background on this is I'm one of 3 sisters always have been close. One married a few years back and became a mother and rightly so we've spent less time together just the 3 of us. Now my youngest sister has seemed to found "the one" which means the less time I get to spend with just her. They've been spending more time together because they are at a similar place in life. Which makes sense. It just leaves me on the outside. I'm happy for them. I truly am. I just miss the 3 musketeers that we used to be. On top of all that I've been struggling with the very real possibility that marriage may never happen for me. It's a large and difficult pill for me to swallow. Basically all my life I have wanted to be married to be a wife and mother. But the pieces have never fallen in place. There are times when it seems like they will only for things not work out that way. I've wondered why something that seems to happen so easily for other people is so difficult to for me. I realize all the clichés of it will happen when it's supposed to happen, and everything will fall into place, and timing and all that. That may be true. It could just be timing. It could also be that marriage is simply not in the cards for me. While I realize millions of people never marry and live fulfilling and meaningful lives the thought of never being a Mrs. X. saddens me and angers me. I wish I didn't have the desire. I don't spend all my time wallowing in self pity. I promise you. Some days it just overwhelms me.
  24. Ladies, when you're walking down the aisle....

    If my Dad is around when that day comes it will have to be him. It'll mean so much to him, I remember how proud he was walking my older sister down the aisle. If he's not. It would be my mother. If neither are around at that time I'd go it alone. I look at it not that he's giving me away or that I'm his property, to me it's a chance to honor him . let him have a special moment share in one of my special moments. Kind of a thank you for being a great dad for always being there for me even when I didn't know it. The same reasons I'd have my sisters stand up for me as my bridesmaids.
  25. Wedding Colors

    Mint green is a beautiful color, I like all the colors mentioned here. I tend to be partial to blues, greens and bold autumn colors like orange. I haven't picked colors though. But, I have thought about my wedding since I was about 15. At one point I had a folder full of pictures of things I liked. I had to let that go because I was getting to far a head of myself. I can't wait till I get to choose colors and plan my wedding with Mr. The cupcakes that Missy posted look divine!