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Posts posted by Mouse

  1. Because I'm Catholic I can go to confession for my sins, but it doesn't mean I can just sin because I can preform this ritual! I fee every time I step over the line, I do get farther from God...and it doesn't feel good when I'm praying or at church before I can get to confession. I feel down-right awful. However, avoiding God would take me further away from him...when in the state of sin, the best thing to do if you can't go to confession is to keep coming to Him anyways and doing what you can to become closer to him despite your current state. So when you do get to confession, you are still close to him and not as far away as you were when you committed the sin. Does that make sense?

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  2. Something you need to know about Christians are that there are many different kinds. Some believe it's okay in the 21st century, while others are against it. I know a woman (she is Lutheran, and that means pre-marital is a nono) who told her son that she would buy condoms for him, but she insists he believe in her religion and go to church with her....this does not make sense. Why teach your son "safe-sex" if you want him to not commit a sin? Then there are the Christians who actually believe in what they claim to believe! But mess up...and then try to justify it, and then stop trying. There are those who preach it to cover up what they do. There are those who believe the bible says to have many wives (I've met two.) And I've known people who actually follow these teachings faithfully, and those who have fallen from it to come back with a new understanding. The world of Christianity is much like the rest of the world. Being Christian doesn't mean being perfect.

  3. “Once they have devalued their respect for each other through premarital sex before marriage, rarely can they find the same attraction and respect shared by couples who marry without premarital sex.â€

    That is very true...after sleeping with my "first" the relationship was over in about a month, and his respect for me wen downhill almost instantly. Meanwhile, the guys I've dated when deciding not to have sex respect/ed me so much more...I am dating (for the first time) someone who wants to wait as well, and my respect for him is higher than my respect for any other man I've known in a romantic interest.

  4. I plan on getting the cootie test before marriage because I've had a past with oral/anal/vaginal. I don't want to pass anything I may have laying dormant on to him, or my kids...and to avoid any and all of that, I will not participate in the aforementioned. I also don't believe in a time as to when it's okay (as in 6 months until we do this or that) because it's like putting a price on my body. My price is commitment; marriage.

  5. Wow Mouse very very interesting! Thank you for sharing! I hope I find someone like the guy you've met, he sounds like one- of-a -kind type of feller :) btw welcome so glad you decided to join! It's so very nice to meet you!

    :D I'm very happy to meet all of you! And you will one day....takes some time, but you just need the "nice-guy" radar. Look for the ones who are always the best friend, the "brother," or the one assumed to be gay. ;) They end up being the most caring, understanding and loyal men. :)

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  6. Welcome, Mouse!

    I have a question for you, actually. In the comments on the site I often see the question "I had sex before, but now I want to wait. How do I convince a guy to wait on me if other guys didn't have to?"

    If I read between the lines of your intro paragraph correctly, you've found a solution to this dilemma, and I'm very interested to hear your tips.

    Or maybe I'm reading to far into that "and I have a rocky past when it comes to sex" statement. tongue.gif

    Sure thing Mike!

    A little personal history first: I've had two long lasting relationships before my current one now. The first was a year and a half and was my first love. We shared everything together including experimenting with physical intimacy. While we never had intercourse, we did everything else and while I may have felt guilty or ashamed of it, I didn't do anything to change our behavior. Eventually we broke up on account of: a.) I wouldn't have sex with him, and b.) he wanted more "experience" with other girls (and even proposed he'd come back to me at the end of highschool. My second relationship has had a long lasting effect on my life despite it having been only 9 months. If my first relationship was my "first love," my second was my first (and last) "teenager thinking she's going to marry this guy because he treats her like dirt but promises her the world" relationship. Needless to say, the least deserving of the men in my past had received my gift of virginity. At the time, I was nearly 18 so I justified it by saying we were to be married anyways, and that I was mature, and that he had already done it so it was okay. I'm not sure how I came to that conclusion, I just remember a stupid teenage boy with one eye shoving his oversized reproductive appendage into me and it hurt like hell. Needless to say the relationship ended soon after.

    Now, the reason why this guy doesn't care if I had sex with the last guy is because he wasn't looking for sex in a relationship. We are about the same ripe old age of 20, and I am his first girlfriend. We started dating long distance as he was away at college- we had been good friends before this and he knew a lot of my past as it was. Being physically intimate was never a requirement in the first place. I often tell him I wish I had waited for him and he replies that it doesn't matter, because I will be his first...and after about four or five years of waiting, he will truly be my first where I don't have to do it in fear and uncertainty.

    So it all depends on the RIGHT KIND OF GUY. The first was my first for everything, so he EXPECTED sex...and when he didn't get it, he left. The second had sex with other girls before me, so he had a goal to get with me too...and when he got it, he left. The third, the man I'm with now, grew up to respect women and to wait for the right one in either a strong relationship, or engagement. Through my influence he sees now the strength and meaning of waiting until we are united by marriage...and he's not going anywhere.

    This is also our common goal. I didn't think of waiting until marriage until about four or five months later after attending a chastity talk without knowing it was going to be a chastity talk. That's when I became serious and I talked a lot about it to him. It took until we fell rather hard for us to really take it seriously, but since then it's been what we want together. It's difficult to be so in love and not be connected physically, especially with the temptation, but we feel it is worth every struggle.

    I hope that helped ^^;

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  7. Me and my boy have napped together, and one day we would love to spend a night together...but it's a work in progress, and it depends on both our feelings towards it. For him, he'd love to cuddle all night...and although I love the idea, I know I am not strong enough to handle the kind of temptation I would be putting myself in. So like Sweety, I'd have to say no for the sake of one party, as I think it is in most cases.

  8. I actually told my boyfriend before we tarted dating- it helped that we were really good friends before we decided to go out though. He didn't judge me, and held similar views of pre-marital sex though a bit different. Like most things, we were able to meet in the middle on this one. After showing respect to his decision to wait until engagement, and his respect of me waiting until marriage, we found that it meant more to wait until marriage because it meant something between us. To us it's "our thing" something very personal to us that we decided together we wanted. We feel it is more than just a one sided opinion, but a certain lifestyle of Purity. It's made our relationship much stronger as well. So don't dread telling the guy! Just be open!

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  9. HI! Everyone, my name is Mouse. I'm an artist, I'm Catholic, I'm too old for highchool so I'm working on graduating ;) I want to attend college within a year t get my BA in Art Education (or education with a concentration in visual arts, depending on which college I attend) and then move on to get my Masters! I have a wonderful boyfriend/fiance who has converted to "waiting" with me...and though we have some trouble and I have a rocky past when it comes to sex, we are 100% committed to Purity and our love for each other. I'm so glad I found this website and it has a chat! I am so excited! <3

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