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About MaliB79

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  1. *Happy New Year!!*

    Happy New Year, everyone! I wish you all peace, love, and happiness in 2013!
  2. Great list! I definitely agree that having these traits definitely contributes to a successful marriage.
  3. I wouldn't call it offensive, being attracted to women who fit the societal ideal of beauty - that's just who you happen to find attractive. I think it's human to want to be with someone who you find physically attractive. As for you being "stereotypical" in your preferences, again, it's about what attracts you. With this said, I can empathize with women whose insecurities about not fitting the societal ideal may cause them to have an issue with it. But, that is a societal issue - it's really not about you and your preferences, or any other man with similar preferences. So, just like you happen to be attracted to these kinds of women, there are men out who prefer curvier, fuller figured, more "average" sized women. Your preferences shouldn't take anything away from the women who don't fit them, because there are other guys out there who will find them attractive. Everyone has a right to have preferences. As long as you're realistic - not looking for perfection, and are looking at the woman as a whole (looks, character, personality) I think you'll be fine, and will find what you're looking for.
  4. Do you have any tips for losing weight?

    Great thread! Good to know we have so many healthy WTMers here! This is info I'm sure we can all use! I think I'll go have a glass of water now!
  5. OK With Being...

    You are right! Being single shouldn't be an obstacle. It should be a time of self-discovery, self-improvement, etc. At least that's how I see it. It should be a time where we are working on becoming whole...complete, so that we won't depend on another person to make us whole and complete! Yeah! I like to think of it that way.
  6. ...Single! I thought this was an interesting article. It is not related to WTM. However, I think it can be relevant because it addresses being OK with being where you are in life, in this case, being single. Especially for WTMers, I think it can be frustrating for us when we think we'll never find someone because of our WTM status. I know that many of you are younger than I am, in your early 20s, even some teens, and maybe you don't feel pressure to be in a relationship, or close to marriage (or, maybe you do!). I can say that at my age (33), I do feel that pressure. I thought about how it sometimes feels when I spend the Holidays with my family. I think I'm one of the only people in my family who is single; everyone else is either married or in a long term/ committed relationship. They never make me feel bad about it but, somehow, my singleness comes up. It's usually something like, "you're too smart, successful, pretty to be alone..." They assume that I spend my weekends at home, that I don't go out to meet people. This isn't entirely true. I go out, but my idea of meeting men doesn't include bars and clubs. Never has, never will. Anyway, I've rambled enough. Just wanted to share this article. Share your thoughts, if you'd like. http://www.huffingto..._b_2109855.html
  7. Thanks everyone for the input.
  8. I would not. I wouldn't make the decision to marry someone based on a mistake or, if your choice is faith-based, a sin. As a Christian, I would pray for God's forgiveness, and go to Him to make my heart right. However, I would not use His grace as a free pass to keep engaging in the same mistake. As others have said, this is a strong reason why it is so important not to put yourself in a situation where you will be tempted to give in. At the same time, it happens. Not to sound so cavalier about it, but it happens. I hate to alienate those who have experienced this, and are now trying to live a pure life, so I will say it once again - it does happen. What do you do if it happens? That depends on the situation/relationship. I agree with Vince that the first priority is preventing it from happening again. I would also be inclined to 'take a break' from the relationship, step back, and evaluate what went wrong. The truth is, once you've had sex with someone, it is very difficult to say, "ooops...we had sex, but we're not going to let it happen again." It isn't impossible, but it will be difficult. If I see that we can no longer be pure together, the relationship would end. Again, I would not feel pressure to marry for this reason. I would only marry someone for the right reasons - I love the person, and I can't imagine my life without him. Getting married for any reason other than that would be unimaginable.
  9. If we're talking about "right now", it would have to be money, since I'm WTM. Having money (I don't have a lot, but I am gainfully employed) allows me to have a nice home (and decorate it, which makes me very, very happy...I LOVE to decorate!), buy the things I need/want, save for the future (so important!), etc. Those things make me happy. I feel blessed to be able to live comfortably. As a married woman, I would choose 'sex'. But, I wonder if I could go a step further and say 'intimacy' instead of just 'sex'?? Of course, I know that 'intimacy' isn't one of the two choices. LOL! But, I actually prefer that word, because it encompasses so much more than sex. Do people really seek intimacy these days, or do they go straight for sex?? So, I guess I'm choosing 'sex', but calling it intimacy??? Oh brother! I'm confusing myself!! I would choose 'sex' (read: intimacy) because I believe that having that closeness with my husband will make me much happier than money. It will make our bond stronger than having money ever could. Yes, I absolutely believe that having money (and being responsible with it) is important for security and stability in marriage, and that being secure and stable leads to happiness. Still, in choosing between the two, I can't imagine money making me happier than sex/intimacy.
  10. @LFTO, I'm not sure where it's implied in my post that I think that only women end relationships. I'm sorry if you got that impression. I simply asked a question. I didn't make any statement about who's more likely to end a relationship. I am a woman, so my question/post was from my POV. Of course I know that men end relationships. I can't imagine anyone thinking otherwise...
  11. Last names?

    I'm old-fashioned/traditional, and will take my husband's last name.
  12. This is always sooo difficult for me. When I realize that things just aren't going to work out with a man I'm dating, it is always super hard for me to just break it off. Even if the person was a major jerk, and mistreated me, I still feel bad for ending it (of course feeling bad doesn't stop me; I refuse to be unhappy in a relationship). I know it's weird, but that's just how I am. I always feel like I owe them some long, drawn out explanation. I think this is also because I want them to know why it isn't working out. Sometimes, my actions will show that I am no longer interested. But, when it comes to breaking it off with a guy, I usually have to have a talk. And, that talk is never straightforward. It usually ends with the guy thinking we're still together! LOL! I don't know...I've just found that guys typically don't get it unless I come out and say: "I'm not interested in dating you anymore!" Ladies, is this challenging for you? How have you done it in the past? Guys, would you rather a woman just come out and tell you she's no longer interested, or would you rather she just stop returning your calls?
  13. What's your favorite song?

    ....I had to add this song by Paula Cole! I love this song...makes me want to dance!
  14. Victoria's Secret and other Models

    I definitely believe that lingerie ads are more than just 'art'. Models in barely there underwear are sex objects. We women might say, "oh...that's a cute bra." Whereas guys aren't really thinking about the bra, KWIM?? Sex sells...very well, apparently! Compared to VS commercials, how often do you see commercials with shirtless men modeling boxers and briefs? Aside from the occasional David Beckham H&M ads, not much. So, you see, VS absolutely objectifies women. These ads perpetuate the ideal that the most important thing about women is how we look. As for women not feeling pressured to compare themselves to these models, I get what you're saying, Tiny Dancer. No, we shouldn't feel a need to compare ourselves, but appreciate our real bodies, with real curves, etc. But, let's be honest: we don't see 'average' sized women (US dress size 12 to 14) modeling lingerie. Are there any 'plus size' VS models? Nope. Yes, there are stores like Lane Bryant and Torrid that cater to fuller figured women, but where are their commercials? Let's face it, they wouldn't be well received. So, when we see that we're not represented (average-sized women aren't really represented in any kinds of advertisement, so we're not just talking about lingerie), some of us can't help but think that there must be something wrong with us. Unfortunately, it is often young girls who are subject to these feelings of insecurity, and resort to disordered eating in order to live up to this ideal. There is a documentary called Killing Us Softly that speaks to this very subject. I have become immune to it. When I was younger, I absolutely felt like I wasn't attractive compared to these women with these seemingly anatomically impossible bodies. Now, I just know what I'm working with: a society that sees me, a healthy, but 'average' woman as being abnormal and maybe unattractive. When I see VS commercials, I can appreciate their beauty, but I know that don't need to compare myself to them because I will never look like them. And, it's ok...