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  1. Today
  2. Miseries

    I don't mind at all. I love stories. In particular this one was really interesting, similar to the others on here, it was just so unique and something I never thought I'd hear. Someone relating to my grievances over society, that is. Stories are the reason I come here sometimes. Pm me if you have more.
  3. For every thing God in His wisdom asked us not to do, He was and is protecting us, not only waiting but even in other aspects of life because He knows the consequences. When you get married, you get naked with each other, completely exposing yourself, imagine how much you would be nothing after the multiple sexual partners ripping off a spiritual piece of you each time and now what have you saved up for marriage? I pity them whom this mystery has not been revealed to and at the same time pray for them. Be blessed and do not lose your guard
  4. As of midnight tonight, the temporary chatroom that I set up will expire. It was a 30 day trial offer. I hoped that the official chatroom would be up and running again by now. Hopefully, I can get a replacement one up this weekend.
  5. Yesterday
  6. New for now single and for Christ

    Hi Theo. Welcome to the forum! Yes, I agree completely- waiting until marriage is a means of self protection.
  7. 10 months late...

    Hi Maryann. Welcome to the forum! It looks like you signed up only nine days before I did.
  8. Miseries

    Shoot, I think just a couple of months ago I could have written a post almost exactly like yours. I know I'm quite a few weeks late to this thread, but I feel compelled enough to throw in my two cents. It's unfortunately very easy to get a little existential about yourself when you're alone most of the time, especially when everybody around you just inherently conflicts with who you are and what you stand for. Feeling like a total alien is not very pleasant. I can tell you that at my worst, I was extremely misanthropic. I strongly believed that everybody would only ever look out for themselves, and they would readily backstab even the people closest to them if it meant receiving some kind of personal gain. I thought people were far too bound by their selfish impulses that it made me view them as weak, disgusting, contemptible filth. Sex was pretty much at the peak of all selfish pursuits, and the way society has normalized it really made me believe that cheap thrills and instant gratification have entirely replaced genuine, thoughtful human relationships. Compounding this belief was the discovery of my father's infidelity, and later on my brother's. I could no longer look at the relationship examples set by my own family, because even they weren't any different. My own story is that I had already been in the midst of battling my own several year long depression, and I eventually started turning my anger away from myself and towards the rest of the world. My depression started back in my younger teenage years precisely because of the idea that I couldn't connect with any of the people around me because my beliefs were so starkly different from theirs. Bitter betrayals and unrelenting loneliness is just going to do that to you. Unsurprisingly, I've been suicidal at a few points in my life too. Last year was my peak, where I was unable to carry the guilt and rage solely on my own shoulders and had to redirect it towards other things, to spare myself the grief. Naturally, this ended up backfiring spectacularly and I had never felt worse in my entire life. At the same time though, once you hit rock bottom, you've got no where to go but up. After shifting the blame away from myself, as heinous as that act is, it inadvertently made me realize how pointless this struggle is. As I was no longer weighted down by self-hatred, I could finally take a step back and really look at my situation from a different angle. I shouldn't hate myself just because I don't empathize with the average person, and I shouldn't hate them for doing what they do, even if I don't agree with it. It just does me no good and is a recipe for perpetual unhappiness. I let go of all my feelings towards others and started to work on myself. I also still hold on to the belief that I would one day meet my soulmate, and that's enough to keep me going. I want to be my best for her, and being angry and closed off is not going to help. Now, I never compromised my beliefs, and I would never tell you or anyone else to do the same. Hold on to them, as they make you who you are. What works for me is to stop taking all the negative reinforcement to heart. The average person is going to do/say things that upset us, as they are slaves to their desires and tend to lack empathy. That doesn't necessarily make them bad people. They're just... average. Expending any emotions on them is just wasted energy. But think about it, nobody on this board is looking for average. We're looking for someone extraordinary, someone who is exceptionally different from the norm because that's the way we waiters are. And if you believe in soulmates, in each individual case that's just going to be one person. One person on this whole planet of over seven billion people. It's only natural that they would be so difficult to find. And even outside of love, there are good people out there to be friends with, who will share similar views and will be able to empathize with you. I can't say you could find us in very typical locations, so you would have to dig a little deeper. Like coming on to this board for one is a great example of that. I know joining this place has given me the positive reinforcement I needed. Gosh, I'm sorry for rambling, especially a bit too much about myself. I just saw a lot of similarities between your feelings and mine, and I felt the need to contextualize it. I don't even know if any of this will have any impact. The bottom line is just to keep holding on to hope. Look, you exist. I exist. That just inevitably means that more people like us exist. We may not be easy to find, but don't let that make you think that we're not out there. It honestly breaks my heart to think that you almost took yourself out. I know that's a bit heavy coming from someone who doesn't even know you personally, but the idea of another waiter drowning in misery to that point is saddening. It also hits home pretty hard, since I can relate. But anyway, this post has gotten really long. Once again I apologize about that, I suppose I just got a little bit too passionate about it. I really hope you're feeling better these days.
  9. 10 months late...

    Hi there, welcome. Admittedly I feel the same way as you do. I tend to leave that detail out when explaining my decision to wait in fear of harsh backlash. Of course, you would only receive flak for it anywhere else on the internet, here people are much more understanding. Though since you've been lurking you probably already know that. People wait for so many kinds of reasons, it's interesting to learn about. I think deciding to wait is a very courageous and admirable thing. It takes a person of a certain caliber to make that choice. I also think that the values and principles between waiters and non-waiters are going to be significantly contrasting. Not all the time, but probably most of the time. Another waiter most likely shares the same feelings and beliefs as you do, so it's only natural to want to be with one. Good luck to you. Hope you enjoy your time here.
  10. Thanks Vince! I'm really sorry to hear about those boys but in the end we are the sum of our choices, right? My non christian friends also don't understand my reasons to wait besides labeling it as my religious choice even though there are demonstrated real life benefits to it. I so agree with you! Thinking of the consequences of our choices (something few of us do) can be a great motivator when the waiting gets tough. Absolutely. The awkwardness is there no matter the person so why not have it with the person you are most open to be intimate with. I think growing and learning besides our partner can be the most beautiful and enriching experience in life. I admit I'm scared of this idea of memories plaguing my marriage and this is a big reason why I pray my future husband is also a wtmer. I don't want to be compared even involuntarily in his memories with any of his exes... Thank you very much for your comment Vince. Wise and edifying!
  11. 10 months late...

    Welcome Maryann! I can totally agree with that. It repulses me too and tbh that's probably the reason why I wouldn't be able to date a non-virgin. That alone repulses me so it's dealbreaker. Hope that you enjoy participating on the site
  12. 10 months late...

    Welcome, Maryann.
  13. Never mind. The post was about changing my legal name and asking which combinations of names you like the best. The Top 3. I deleted it because it didn't get any responses.
  14. Last week
  15. What is your ethnicity/national identity?

    100% Mexican, Nationality US But 67% native american, 30% spaniard and 3% chinese within 100% Mexico. Spanish is my first language second is english.
  16. What is your ethnicity/national identity?

    According to my mother... 50% Nigerian 25% Nigerien 12.5% Togolese 12.5% Beninese Born in the Netherlands
  17. 10 months late...

    Hey, I'm Maryann. I've been lurking on this site for almost a year now so I thought that it's now time to finally participate I decided to wait because the thought of doing something so intimate with multiple people kind of repulses me. yup that simple!
  18. I really just want a woman I can truly relate to and sympathize with, whom also offers me the same level of understanding. We should mutually want to make each other genuinely happy. It should feel as if we both alleviate the weight of the world from each other's shoulders. In a nutshell, I guess it's not really that much different than saying I want my soulmate. I believe waiters have the best chance at building that kind of love, given their conviction to faith and commitment. Also it would be really nice to be able to cuddle with said woman instead of my pillow.
  19. What is your ethnicity/national identity?

    50% Mexican 25% Cherokee Indian 25% White/Welsh 100% American

    Some really insightful posts in this thread. Honestly, I literally am hiding. I'm working on changing that, though. It makes me wonder if there is any correlation between introversion and waiting. It might explain why we seem so difficult to find, since we tend to keep to ourselves and make an effort not to stand out. Granted that's a huge assumption to make and I'm sure that isn't going to be the case for most people, probably. Since it is true in my case, I'm trying to be more sociable. Learning to step out of my comfort zone has been a huge pain, but if I can bring people some amount of joy then I should. I mean, you still aren't ever going to catch me at the bar or the club, but maybe in libraries, the park, the gym, etc. My prior mindset had me believe that people either wouldn't ever want to be afflicted with my presence and I should just leave them alone, or that they would use me only for their personal gain. Obviously that is an incredibly unhealthy way to think, hence why I'm making efforts to change. It's very unfair of me to lock people out and never give them a chance. That's just no way to live. We aren't meant to face life alone, despite how much it might seem like it at times. And naturally I'm never going to meet my future wife if I continue to recluse myself and live inside my own head. Joining this community is one of my methods of changing. As a waiter, it's honestly a disservice to keep myself away from other waiters and try to endure it alone. Knowing that I could potentially help and inspire others definitely drives me to be here, especially when you've all done the same for me.

    I wish the chat were working so it would be easier to keep up with you all. You make fascinating points and it leaves me comforted after a horrible day if I must go outside.
  22. Like a few others, still leaning how to navigate through however very thankful and grateful that there are many who share with me this discipline and hold on to hope. We not only hope but do the right thing, you do not know how much this decision to wait till marriage protects you - many things are behind scenes. I encourage you to keep up the standards.
  23. Tell her she is beautiful, ask what movies or books she likes to read. Give her a present of a book or movies genre she likes. Draw her roses if artistic or give her real ones. Bring her a serenata at midnight and really loud so the whole neighborhood can hear
  24. Vince: I agree with your points especially the last paragraph. I think awkwardness with your spouse is a good thing since it brkngs both of you closer together. The video made some good points too.
  25. Hmm... I am not sure since every woman is different. In other words, there is no magical formula to attract a woman. Some like small talk and others not so much. I think it is important to just be you . If you don't like small talk that's fine. Myself, I don't like small talk so much. Why? It is because I want to get to the heart the conversation. Some woman may not find that attractive and it is up to you to be comfortable with that reaction and sometimes that takes time or some self-help.
  26. I believe in the Virtue of Chastity. There is just so much peace and joy in being chaste. I am doing what I want my future husband to do. I love my future husband so dearly thats why I want to wait. -Gema G. Cervantes, 16
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