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  1. Yesterday
  2. Is anybody still on here. It's been awhile since i have. But seems last couple of times I haven't seen nobody else and my chat isn't working


    1. seabutterfly


      Most have moved to one of the two discords. Even those are becoming dead

  3. Pre-Marriage Counseling

    Hey @melissa2587 it's really nice to hear a similar story to my parents. My mom is Catholic while my dad is Jewish. They raised me Catholic as is tradition to go with the mother's religion and because of her commitment to the faith he didn't really worry about us being raised right. I am so grateful to live in a multifaith family. It's so much fun to see both cultures and taught tolerance and love of those different than me at a young age. So don't worry about how your future kids might feel. I know so many people now who have mixed christian/jewish parents and they all seem to like it too. From what I hear it was difficult at the start for my parents, but it was well worth it. They found a very accepting priest to bless their marriage after about two years of just a legal marriage. You should be fine in pre-marriage counseling as I know for a fact most denominations of Christianity (especially Catholicism) have started to come around on that. If you have any more specific questions please ask!!!!
  4. Last week
  5. I'm going to be starting pre-marriage counseling with my fiance at his church. He's Christian and I'm jewish. I don't follow most jewish holidays or anything like that since I was not brought up religious but I really do not want to convert. I do go to church with him every Wednesday because he wants me to do AND I do find it very interesting so I don't mind. He is fine with me never converting - this is the topic we have spoken about right from the beginning and if anything, he wants it to be my choice but I am terrified that we will be deemed “unfit” to be married. And even know I know we are okay with getting married... I am just scared of them. I have never been through this, and don’t know anyone close to me that has. Any advice? Side note... it scares me even more because his dad, friends of the family, etc. always tell him that we will be deemed unfit.
  6. Earlier
  7. I like playing to take my mind off things and to occupy my time. The questions can be sometimes challenging enough to keep me concentrated without getting bored, and easy enough that you don't become too frustrated and no longer want to play.
  8. Guys. Make-up or natural?

    @charlemagne first girl is highkey hot i like creative makeup too.
  9. Yep, I did a lot of research and I’m pretty sure it was some form of vaginismus. I found a lot of stories of other women who had it and got through it, so it was very comforting to hear. It really is treatable if you put the work in to learn to relax. I have a friend who is dealing with it as well and we’ve kind of been each other’s support/cheerleaders, haha.
  10. Sounds like you had vaginismus, or involuntary contractions of muscles around the...female area. From what I heard, it's more common than most people think. I personally know another girl how had the same obstacle having sex for the first 6 months of her marriage. I know women who experience this feel inadequate to say the least, but it's not your fault at all. From what I understand, it isn't a permanent condition and can be treated over time. Good to know you got through it and congrats on successfully waiting. Enjoy your hard-earned rewards
  11. Ever since I was young, I thought only married people could have babies, and that transitioned into thinking only married people had sex when I learned what it was. Eventually I obviously discovered that not to be the case, but it was still sort of engrained in my brain. Then I read the book “Diary of a Teenage Girl: Becoming Me” by Melody Carlson, and it helped me to realize that waiting is a choice that you have to make and really commit to. That is when I decided that I would officially make that promise to myself and God. My parents never pushed me one way or another in my decision. In fact, sometimes I felt like my mom was surprised I wanted to wait. It was my decision and I’m so glad I stuck with it.
  12. He was 27 and I was 23 when we started dating. We were 30 and 26 when we got engaged. We were 31 and 27 when we got married.
  13. For some reason, I didn’t expect intercourse (the penetration part) to feel like anything. I guess I had always heard that women rarely could orgasm through penetration and to me, that equated in my brain to “well there must be no pleasure at all.” I figured just the men got the pleasure from that part. Luckily, I was mistaken! I also expected to feel very self conscious in front of my husband but that has not been the case at all. When you’re with your spouse who you’ve made vows with and you know they’ve promised their life to you, it’s such a natural and beautiful thing.
  14. For us, so far, the hardest part was getting to the point of having ACTUAL SEX. My body has a habit of tensing up in expectation of pain (which I knew coming into marriage because of various difficult gynecologist visits). Since we decided not to force things and just work on getting my muscles to relax, it took us 4 months before we achieved intercourse. I don’t hear about situations like that often, but that’s how it was for us. We were patient with the process and eventually my body learned to relax. While it was frustrating at times, it brought us even closer as we navigated the challenges. And we came out of it successful!
  15. Guys. Make-up or natural?

    Oh lovely! Judging by the comments I get to be the first weirdo <3. I am not a fan of typical makeup... This being said I do like makeup when it is done a bit different. Stuff like this I like. Stuff like this I cannot stand. Corpse paint is also acceptable
  16. How many…?

    I had all stable relationships with no sex. One very short and two very long before I met my husband. My partings always seemed to have something to do with moving away to a diff state or country. But yeah, none of those men ever made me feel "high" in love like my husband. I never did drugs, but I think the weird sensation I got could pass as one. I felt like I was having a rebirth almost physically and floating every time I spoke to him. It all turned out to be mutual. He came only after I told myself I deserved the best. Things then weirdly started to unfold. I will still say the man who came before him still had a weird impact on me. Kinda hard to forget. But then again, I see this to be true only when the man is a virgin.
  17. Bye everyone!

    Can y’all delete my account? I haven’t been on here in awhile and I don’t really see me coming back as well. Though it was great meeting everyone, I don’t think I belong on here anymore. Hope everyone the best!
  18. I think you will find a gf. From the list you posted and reading your previous posts, I am making a guess that you lack confidence in yourself. Here is an article that may help you. How to get a girlfriend when you think you cannot get one:
  19. Will I ever find a girlfriend? Im dealing with problems 1-5,7,9-14,20-21. 2. Is mostly about wanting a good Christian woman, but it's been hard to find girls at chruch. 4. Is more about trying to save money for when I do get married, I can just move out and pay for a house mostly paid for. Now that think about this, how much this is actually linked to depression. Maybe if I get undepressed, it knock most of these out.
  20. Holy. There is no one like You,

    There is none beside You,

    Open up my eyes in wonder.

  21. Guys. Make-up or natural?

    I hate much makeup on my face. For me.. makeup is strictly for the nightclub.. a musical performance.. or a job interview. For everyday life all I use is a tinted moisturer ( find out what I mean here) and Mascara. It's kind of fresh and real looking. Allows natural beauty to stand out.
  22. Been so lonely as of late.

    I hope things are better in California than they were in Canada!
  23. Been so lonely as of late.

    thank you all!!!!! I am back in California!!!!!
  24. Hair care tips.

    Personally, I have pretty long, thick hair so I'm looking for something that will heat up quickly, make my hair shiny (and not frizzy) and is easy to use all round. I've done some Googling and found reviews on most popular Flat Irons , but still need some real recommendations based on the real experience. What would you recommend to go for?
  25. That is a myth nonwaiting frauds in disguise of experts use to scare people to go for the shortcut aka, lose virginity in the wrong way. My husband fell for it and even yesterday was crying about how he was scammed some 13 years ago. You will not end up being alone, but you dont wanna be with the wrong person either. Can you PM me your date of birth? After traveling the world, I have come to conclusion that almost anyone can be our friends. That said, you probably like us look self sufficient for which people don't think you need help. Churches, mosque and synagogues won't talk about that because they have to build their Facebook friend list
  26. Depends on the kind of demands the kids have to bear. If you push them to education things will be different. Muslim, Jews and South Asian families in the west consider kids to be kids. Parents don't want them to do anything extra and it works. Most of those communities have a large number of kids going in STEM and making a lot of money. Virginity before marriage is no big deal. The west currently is very hypocrite when it comes to kids' lifestyle. Here in the US, I think all 50 states approve child marriage. I met many in CA. They usually stay quiet because of how the marriage is stigmatized. But strangely, our society tells us that as teens we are to do everything minus applying for the marriage license to get approved by our peers and sometimes families. Nobody cares about the heartbreak that follows. Apparently, teens have a higher rate of cheaters and from my observation, most number of short lived relationships. Poor love life breeds not only poor focus on education, but also least amount of thought about an organized future. Thrown out of the house at age 18 really seals the deal. That is the age when brain is still growing. But our "adults" believe by separating the kids at that age they are teaching them to be responsible. Modern life is not easy especially if you consider marketing and how everything is so expensive. Btw, I did specialize in marketing. We have been taught today's and yesterday's western lifestyles have a huge diff. People used to be once happy with whatever they had. It was the tobacco companies which found this as an obstacle to selling cigarettes and thus, brought out a never before seen lifestyle in which a human has to DESIRE and DESIRE. It entered our every area. People are taught they need to live in the moment or they are losers. The formula of our sexual liberation is not new. But you really will end up with a horrible result if you send an 18 year old to face the outside world alone. A great prey to evil marketers!
  27. I'm going to sound like a traditionalist a lot in this reply. I think this trend of delaying marriage for the sake of career growth is part of the attempt to break down the family unit. Society doesn't value marriage like it used to. Instead of it being seen as this great thing that can enrich your life, it is seen by many as a hindrance to your life if not an outright prison. This type of mindset seems to be primarily a Western World phenomenon and not really in anywhere else in the world. We have become so hyper-individualistic in our values that career and the success that comes with it is seen as the ultimate goal in life. The rationale behind career first, marriage later is that one must have all their ducks in a row financially before starting a family. Of course it is good to think about having the ability to provide for a family. But one doesn't have to delay 5 or 10 years to reach Senior Manager position before you get married. A marriage is supposed to be a partnership. If two people can at least afford an apartment together then you're pretty much set to get married. Having a partner early in life can help take the financial burden of rent and other expenses off one person when both people are working before they decide to have kids. Plus I know many couples in our parents' generation whom were brought closer together during those early years of building a life together. Today's norm of delaying marriage seems like it is a novel idea that is foreign to the rest of history. To go along with the previous point, this hyper-individualism mentality also encourages people in their younger years to "find themselves." This is often a euphemism for partying, sleeping around and generally living a purely selfish lifestyle. The idea is marriage constricts personal freedom and therefore we are encouraged to spend our youth going crazy and put off marriage later. To me, this is so backwards. If someone desires to be married someday, then we ought to spend our years before in preparation for it. Part of it is learning how to be selfless not selfish. You cannot be completely selfish and expect your marriage to succeed. Wasting your youth feeding into a selfish lifestyle will make you less ready to marry, not more. I don't want to marry someone like that. It is discouraging enough that waiting is so rarely valued as it is without the added pressure of delaying marriage for careers.
  28. Hello everyone! I came upon an interesting idea a while ago when reading. The idea was that due to demands and expectations in the present world, the chance of people waiting till marriage has been greatly reduced. For instance, in the past, people would likely marry at a younger age like right after high school or such. They would be told that they have to wait till marriage, but they would be encouraged towards marriage and marriage was something well within sight even before their 20's. However today, at least for a number of people in families that teach WTM, they have extra demands placed upon them. They not only have to wait, but they have to wait to get married till they fulfill a series of criteria: finish school, get a high paying career, etc. It seems that some people then view waiting till marriage as being near impossible as the possibility of marriage itself seems like a long ways off. What are your thoughts?
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