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  1. Past Hour
  2. I remember you joining not too long after myself. I've enjoyed our conversations. Hope you can make it to the new forum!
  3. Today
  4. I joined the site waaaay back in 2018 and met wonderful people here. If it wasn't for this site, I wouldn't have met my lovely wife. Also I still keep contact with Vince, Francois and Jasmine.
  5. WTM.org. What you love and will miss about the site?

    And a question: Somebody posted a link to a copy of this website. Like an internet archive. I can´t find it anymore and don´t know who posted it. Can anybody please post that link again? Would be cool to have a place where you can still go through the website, even though "the real thing" is actually gone.
  6. WTM.org. What you love and will miss about the site?

    I will miss this site very much. When I first discovered this site, I was so happy that I have found like-minded people (although I have found out over time that there are VERY different kinds of WTMers). It was interesting to get into conversations and discussions, to see other perspectives and opinions and thoughts. I enjoyed writing about so many different topics and "meet" new people on here. I also loved the helping and advice-giving aspect of this site. Although this site has been "dead" for quite some time now (which was a bummer), it was really sad to see the information that this site will be closed for good. I found out about it a couple days after Mike was posting the information. I was just checking out if something new happened on this site and then I saw Mike´s post in the forums. Thanks all the same, Syzygy (sorry, it doesn´t work to mark up names somehow) for the information message! Thought about doing something like that, as well. But I guess, you were faster ;-) Thank you, Queen, for establishing a new place for this community! I will check it out. And thanks, Mike, for making up this site all those years ago. And thanks for writing your book! I might come around this website before it closes. And I definitely need to bookmark the other available platforms for this community. I´m just really sad this site will be taken down. Another thing I really enjoyed were the articles! So I will miss them. Well, actually I do miss them for quite some while. I think, the last article has been written in 2016. Altogether I will miss this whole dynamic on here, we used to have. And I will miss the introduction posts of new members. Another thing I really loved about this site was the openness for people of all walks of life. For non-religious people and religious people, for atheists, agnostics, for everyone. It has not been a religious site, but very welcoming for everybody. This has been a very, VERY essential aspect of why I even registered on here all those years ago. I also liked that it brought people together from all over the world. Although it also could be a bummer, when you met someone on here you found friendly and interesting (even just as friends), and then you found out that the person lives on the other half of the globe. Another thing I found really interesting, were the posts from married waiters. Loved to here their thoughts and experiences "on the other side". In addition, this site definitely has been a very nice practice in the English language for me, since English is not my native language. I hope, this community will live on somehow. It has been a very cool experience. Thank you.
  7. Yesterday
  8. Chaperones

    I agree with previous posters. I don’t think you need a chaperone since you are not in high school. You are a grown 30 something year old woman and I am sure that you know your boundaries. Stick to them and let no man under mine then. You are a person of worth who is capable of directing her own life.
  9. Hey Vince, I also understand that feeling. I have been envious of my friends who marry young and supposedly found the One. On the one hand, I think it is easy to make a generalization like that since you and I haven’t had much success in meeting our future spouse. We get envious..makes total sense why. On the other hand, we don’t know what could be their struggle as a couple. Maybe one of them has an anger problem that Facebook doesn’t show, maybe the other has the beginnings of post partum depression, or maybe due to their young marriage both of them are taking each other for granted. I guess what I am trying to say is the heartache that you feel is valid and I am sure when you meet the right woman for you, you will not take her granted. It sucks waiting for that moment (if that ever comes) but I feel these experiences have shaped you to appreciate and understand love on a much deeper level than most people (married or not). I am sure when you find her and you communicate your sexual needs to her, she will reciprocate. You will have the time to make up for lost time and enjoy a satisfying sex life and each other. I think one of the keys to doing those things is to set time aside just for the two of you even if you need to schedule it in. As someone once told me, “if x is a priority, you will make time for it.” In my own life, I struggle to relax due to having the need to always be doing something and rightfully so but I realize that I am not a machine and need to set aside some Chris time.
  10. I've enjoyed reading many of your posts here on the WTM forum. Since the site is scheduled to deactivate on March 1, I wanted to let you know about these other options we have created so we are not complete done with our WTM community: facebook.com/groups/WaitingUntilMarriage https://savagenutritionist.wixsite.com/celibacy (We will eventually change the url to something better) Please join us!
  11. Chaperones

    Not after 30 years old. You need to have practice steering your own ship and navigating the seas of your life, so to speak. You don't need a chaperone, you need your own will! You are a grown woman, and you need to know how to set boundaries. Very important at this stage in life. Your dad is just trying to protect you, but the BEST thing he could do is teach you how to protect yourself.
  12. Getting ghosted

    Fooling around too early sometimes puts sexual energy at the forefront of a man's mind and not you as a woman worth waiting for. Waiting until marriage is far more than just preserving virginity, you see. It holds both people accountable and is a statement that people have intrinsic worth that surpasses sex. In this world, men need to hear that and so do women - in different ways. This is why "holding out" longer may be a good idea. Personally, I like to state my stance on WTM at the very beginning - day 1. Most guys are not waiting - so it saves us both time. I would even recommend putting it as a one-line statement of waiting until marriage in the online dating profile. You might not get as many messages or you will get messages from guys who didn't read your profile - but all these guys are not the one for you. Here is a funny way to do it (if you like humor): "Let's talk about sex, baby! Ok, now that I have your attention. I'm waiting until marriage for that." I could go on with the humor, but I shall digress. That's really great. This is the perfect time to tell him you are WTM while the topic is on the table with Lent!
  13. Getting ghosted

    Slightly new development. He started messaging me again telling me dates when he is going to be gone again for work and that maybe we could hang out before he has to leave. Then he tells me he is giving up physical contact for lent so if we hang out it will just be hanging out.
  14. No way, dude. Sure parenting consumes your free time, but that does not mean you will not have that time with your spouse. Oh, man.. okay, so this is when you help her with the kids. You can say, "let me take over here and draw yourself a nice bubble bath." That will help her get into the mood and feel good about herself as well as sharing the parenting duties. She will feel she has a partner who cares about her and significantly increase likelihood of knocking boots later on after the kids go to bed. Or when they are watching a movie. Just got to be creative. Parenting is a lot of work. But if we have waited so long to find our person, than we will prioritize our spouses and time with them! None the less, I understand the long enduring wait of being an older waiter.
  15. Last week
  16. Getting ghosted

    I also think he was ghosting you too. A sign that he wanted to take the relationship a step further was asking you to come to his hotel room. Usually, when a guy asks you to come to his hotel room, it usually is not just to hang out but to have sex too. His reaction after you told him no to his asking you to come to the hotel room tells me he wanted more from the relationship (e.g.”he kinda murmured under his breathe what did I think would happen”. In addition, the fact that the relationship between him and you appeared to go up to second base and then him asking you to come to the hotel room made me think he was hoping to go to home base. When you didn’t give what he wanted (sex), he decided to ghost you. I feel like he should have told you straight up what he wants or his expectations for the relationship but he apparently doesn’t feel comfortable doing it. I would forget about him and move on. You want a guy who will respect your boundaries and your decision to wait and communicate what he wants in the relationship directly to you and not play mind games.
  17. Getting ghosted

    Yeah, he's definitely ghosting you. He's not following through with made plans and not even making any effort to reschedule. On the surface it may seem like he is respectful of your boundaries and maybe he really is. But the fact that he started acting weird when you refused to go to his room I think is very telling. He wanted to see how far he could get away with physically. You don't invite someone into your hotel room in private just to have coffee. That's not how these things work. He wanted sex. When he realized he wasn't going to get what he wants, at least not as soon as he would like, he probably lost interest and isn't man enough to tell you straight up. You're honestly better off without him, if not because of the not waiting, then because shown he can't be honest with you. Personally, I don't see what's wrong with being upfront about waiting from the very beginning. The wrong person will run off immediately, but is that really a loss? Putting the cards on the table immediately will filter out who's not compatible with you and will spare you the emotional investment if you waited to tell him later. We don't need to wait other people's time and our own by investing in a relationship that isn't going to work anyways. The right person will stick around and admire you for it because he has already made the choice to wait himself.
  18. I am 37 yrs old never married and a virgin. Until recently it had even been over a decade since I had even kissed someone. I had been on lots of 1st dates but never really felt a deep connection. Until I met this guy about a month ago. We went on 4 dates the first week with the 3rd date lasting about 12 hours ( going to the zoo, and just a Sunday Drive) I thought things were going really well because he didn't even try to hold my hand until the end of the 3rd date and then a little later that night we kissed. I told him it had been a long time since i had even kissed someone but didn't go into my virgin status. He seemed very sweet and understanding about the kissing and seemed to be like he would take his time. We both had a lot of travel planned right after that 1st week and were both out of the country with limited cell service from time to time. But when we were both going to be back in town ( his flight returned late) he wanted to see me and asked if I would come to his hotel and hang with him and chat, I said I would come hang for an hour but just driving around or at a restaurant not his hotel. He seemed fine with this, and I thought things were still going great. We kissed and there was some petting involved and he even went to 2nd base( which I was ok with) and even as soon as he did he asked me mid kiss if I was ok. He did seem to act a little funny that I wouldn't go hang at his hotel but didn't say much about it and kinda murmured under his breath that what did I think was going to happen? Then that night I noticed he was missing from my matches on the dating site we met on, and I didn't hear much from him the next 2 days. Today (3rd day) we had plans to see a movie if he was free and I messaged him to see if we were still on. He just replied he had been super busy and didn't answer about the movie. Another reason I may be worrying is I leave again in 2 weeks and will be gone almost 3 weeks. After the amazing 1st week I was hoping i would see him again before I had to leave again. Am I being crazy to think that he is ghosting me? How long do you all wait before you reveal your status of waiting?
  19. Off topic but I wanted you to know I'll probably catch some of you on the other site you set up. I bookmarked it
  20. Looking to Meet Someone

    Oh, that's funny! Okay, I'll message you on Discord since this site won't be around long.
  21. What is a relationship deal breaker for you? You can post your answer here, but you could also try the new forum at https://savagenutritionist.wixsite.com/celibacy/forum/waiting-and-relationships/deal-breakers
  22. Thanks Queen. I really appreciate the encouragement. I don't think of myself as better because I am still a virgin. All I'm concerned about are the potential consequences of not waiting in the past that may affect my future relationship. If she has allowed God to heal her past then I would gladly accept her with open arms. I would not consider settling by any means if she is the right woman for me who otherwise didn't wait in the past.
  23. That’s a great attitude man and a great story. I think that more often than not that’s how it works. We’re all on our own journey and it takes longer for some of us. I’d guess that those of us who wait, on average, take longer to find our special someone. There aren’t a lot of people, especially today, who feel the way we do about intimacy and value what we value. I believe that all of us will find someone one day because we all have a lot to offer. Sure, it will likely come with quite a few heartbreaks beforehand, but that’s what makes finding them great. You’ll appreciate them more as well. Instead of taking our significant others for granted like many people do, those who wait often realize that they have found a diamond in the rough and that there aren’t many of those. You said it best. In the meantime, just work on yourself and become what you want to attract in your future wife.
  24. Looking to Meet Someone

    You’re very welcome! I live all the way in Delaware. We’ve talked a little bit on the Discord server lately (I don’t have the same name here as I do there, but I’m the guy from Delaware ). Also the hedgehog isn’t mine lol. I just put it up, so I can remain somewhat anonymous. I do have a really cute puppy though! Feel free to DM me here, while we still can, or on Discord.
  25. Well, I think your quote is deep and would have to agree with it. Sometimes, the sweetest moment in life come from many moments of defeat. While my romantic and emotional self would want to believe in fairytale endings, my logical brain would say that is not always the case. Sometimes, you need to date or get to know a few frogs before you found your princess. I read a story about a couple who meet, fell in love, married, and both are happy in their relationship. They married later in life and when the interviewer asked them why it took them a long time to meet their spouse, the husband said that both of them went through moments of pain and anguish during dating before meeting each other. He said that he wouldn’t change a thing. I will be honest: I would be happy as a clam if I meet my future wife tommorow but I realize that may not be the case. I know what it is like to have pain come from a previous relationship so in the meantime, I plan on working on myself and make myself strong in areas that would potentially be important to my future relationship with my wife.
  26. Is it possible to wait till marriage for a male?

    Yes, it is possible. You can choose to leave the situation and commit yourself to a different choice. WTM is challenging. I think challenges stem from the influence of our sex saturated culture today and the idea of instant gratification. That being said: is WTM worth it? I think so but in those moments where weakness comes in it is good to have a support group that knows your struggles.
  27. Does your family know?

    My sister knows that I am waiting but my parents don’t know. I received sex education in school and taught about it in church but unfortunately, we never talk about sex at home. It was something that was never brought up. If I ever have children, I want to talk about sex with them.
  28. Does your family know?

    I have never spoken about it to my family members. Recently, I saw my mom staring at my computer screen that I had left on in my room. It was the website I recently created. This site to be exact: https://savagenutritionist.wixsite.com/celibacy I was so embarrassed, but she never asked. With that said, I don't believe the topic should be so taboo. If ONLY people I trusted would have talked to me about it, my life would have been different. My parents didn't even let me complete sex education at my school, because they were weird about it - thinking it is not the school's place but clearly not their's either. So I knew nothing. I plan on having this talk with my daughter, but I still have yet to figure out how I will. But it is important.
  29. She won't be thinking about anyone else but you when intimate. I guarantee it. If she is also a waiter and becomes intimate with you, she loves you dearly and that will be all that is on her mind. I promise you. Besides, you don't know her past. Maybe they weren't good experiences, and she doesn't even want to think of them. Some people have had sex but have never made love. Either way, trust me - God can work miracles. I understand how you feel about wanting to be with a virgin. You deserve that. I hope you make peace or don't settle.
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