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  1. Earlier
  2. Hi ! I'm 32 years old. I have BA. I'm serious, honest, shy and modest. I would like to meet a russian speaking man. It will be cool if he would be from Israel.

  3. I married a non waiter. Problem came from him. I learned that it is a myth when nonvirgins say doing it will make you learn about how to do it. Actually, I always knew it was bs. Let's remind ourselves that our ancestors went to marriage without knowing how to do it. My hubby simply showed me in action that the thing was complete myth. Yep, I was virgin, but I was the one to teach him how to do it by making him forget how to do it. It is all in passion. Our sex crazed people know the least about sex. When you let love take control you are actually not having sex. You are instead making love. This is gonna be a huge challenge in a marriage if you lose virginity before it.
  4. Everything but Sexual Intercourse

    I married that guy. All my ex's believed in that, but not all of them were virgin. I rejected all those who wanted that before marriage.
  5. Hey! I have also struggled with depression and anxiety over the years especially when it comes to relationships too. In my experience, I have not had any successful romantic relationships either. Um... how long have you known this person? I think it can be easy to become attached to who a person is based on what you see online especially if you have not met the person yet. On the other hand, I know I can fall for someone hard and I am the type of person who wants to give 100% of myself to a relationship. My past history with unsuccessful relationships sometimes may cloud my feelings, in other words I may see someone who I think is amazing and my need to be with her may not just be genuine but as a result of my past relationship history: I want so bad to be succesfull and I see a chance at doing it. I have also felt like I will never be in a successful relationship. I think what helps me from time to time deal with my emotions is try to take a step back and see where my feelings are coming from. I think I would wait to tell her about your beliefs. If she opens up and tells you her beliefs or feelings, I think that would give you an opportunity to ask yourself if you feel comfortable telling her. Chris
  6. What qualities are you looking for?

    loyal, humorous, same values/beliefs, attractive, and caring.
  7. In public: You know that whole, "Aww, it is hard to find a man like yours". He is completely different outside. He looks very sophisticated. I thought I won after waiting. He wanted to be treated like a virgin also. I listened to that. Bomb dropped on me when I saw his inability to understand the meaning of what we were supposed to do on the night of our wedding. He couldn't understand what "special" meant. He couldn't bond. It was this same old "seen this before, did this before". I now completely understand the true meaning of virginity. It goes beyond biology and it truly is about two people and not one. I also see how the term damaged good is not an insult. It is real!
  8. Virgin Therapists: What would you do?

    This was good read, glad I stumbled across this!
  9. Legalized Recreational Marijuana

    Up to 30 days.
  10. Legalized Recreational Marijuana

    I have been using marijuana for medical purposes, but having lost my job recently, I understand I will have pass pre-employment drug test. Does anybody know for how lond marijuana stays in a homan body? Also are detoxing drinks effective. I found some info here, but would like to hear your thoughts.
  11. Video chatting

    Here's a thought: why not post our Skype accounts here? Or duo.. or... Something. Seriously this site is dead.. would be nice to bring a little life back into it!
  12. In public, I won. In private, I am a loser.
  13. What do you guys think about this quote, as it relates to finding your soulmate, getting married, etc? It will obviously be an incredible feeling either way, but do you think it will feel EVEN BETTER if you’ve gone through a lot of pain and heartache in the past? For me personally, this has been the case, and it’s been rough. But what helps keep me going sometimes is just thinking about how great it will be and how much I will appreciate it, when it finally does work out for me one day. How about you guys? Have you been through a lot of pain in this regard? What helped you to keep going and (for those that this applies to) how great was it when you finally found love?
  14. I completely agree with this. I absolutely agree that men having premarital sex is just as bad as women having premarital sex. There should be no double standard at all, and I have no idea why there is. It certainly doesn’t work that way for me. Personally, a big part of my reason to wait is out of respect for my future wife. I want to save those sacred acts for her and I want them to mean something and be something truly special that has happened between us and only us. I couldn’t forgive myself if I hurt her and gave it away to someone else. I know how badly that would hurt me, which is why I have a very difficult time even considering dating non-virgins. I know this makes finding someone much more difficult, but I just don’t think I could get past something like that and I firmly believe that the girl for me is also waiting. No matter what society tries to tell you, sex is a very big deal and having it outside of marriage or with someone you don’t love is an incredibly selfish act. Regardless, I am always here to talk if you need it, and I will pray for you in hopes that everything works out and you are able to find peace. It seems you are realizing my worst fear when it comes to dating/marriage and my heart breaks for you. If you haven’t already, please seek counseling. You can get through this.
  15. It sounds like you almost GAVE away a part your virginity….not lost it. Now I’m NOT one of those guys who cares about a women’s virginity. Sure it’s a bonus if she has it but nothing more. I care about the women, her current values, who she is today, not some abstract concept like virginity. Anyway, I don’t know if you can accurately call yourself a stone cold virgin. (Not that this matters but hand jobs were one of my favorite sexual acts to receive from my ex gf.) They are a very real sexual act performed by another person. If I paid an undercover cop for a hand job…guess what? I’m going to jail. Why? Because I’m paying for sex. If I got caught paying a prostitute for a hand job, guess what? I'm getting booked because I was paying to a sexual service. In a nutshell, I would think a stone cold virgin is someone who has not touched another person’s genitals, with the intent of causing sexual stimulation or consensually allowing another person to touch their genitals for the purpose of sexual stimulation. So I really struggled to follow your story and to make sense of this whole thing...Well here is my best guess at trying to figure this all out... You knew exactly what was going on from the beginning and YOU chose to let this happen. 1) This has nothing to do with being naive or having a lot of experience with men. It is about exercising sound and logical judgment that will reflect your values. For example, if a woman wants a certain man to pursue her, I believe it is crucial (for a long list of reasons) for her to flirt with that man. However, since you don’t believe in premarital sex, you never should have been flirting that guy. You should only flirt with men you want to marry. Why? Because if you’re flirting with men who have premarital sex, they are going to think you want sex. But being an adult, you already know this…if you were in 7th grade, then that would be understandable if you did not. 2) DOES HIM BUYING A PLANE TICKET TO COME SEE YOU TRUMP THE FACT HE COULD HAVE A WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND? - Why would you take the chance of hurting her like that? It’s extremely selfish to take that risk. - Would you want your hypothetical husband flying out of state to spend alone time with a younger woman he met online? If not, then why is it ok for you to do this? - Would you be ok with a younger woman getting into bed with your hypothetical husband, dry hump with him and then having her pull out his penis to give him a hand job? If not, then why did you do that? Did you tell him you are just hanging out as friends? Do you dry hump and jerk off your other male friends?....If so, I bet you must have a ton of guy friends.....or guys dying to be your friend. 3) If your intuition is “NEVER” wrong, then why did you ignore it? You knew he wanted sex from you and your core values were not matching. So why did you allow all this to happen? Here is my guess from reading your story… A. Like many women you fear/dislike being alone and/or growing old alone. You were approaching a big milestone in your life…turning 30…Most of our values are abstract concepts we can work on if we want to improve them. i.e our financial value, emotional value, spiritual value et cetera. However, there are elements to our sexual value that decline with age/time. The older women get, their bodies and fertility decrease in desirability. This can cause many single women to freak out. The less sexually desirable they are, the harder it will be to find a suitable partner/having a family. So a man showing you intense sexual interest could have been very flattering and reassuring that you’re still sexually desirable. B. It looks like you are lonely, desperate and pining for male attention…. If he has 1K female friends on FB, then he too could be equally desperate for female attention….No wonder you two attracted each other. C. Usually both men and women to have two main sexual drives. 1) A strong yearning to make love and emotionally bond to a potential sole mate. 2) A strong desire to engage in the physical pleasures of sex. Here is how I think this applies to you…Like many celibate people, you don’t have a way to truly satisfy these mental and physical sexual urges. The longer these sexual urges go unsatisfied, they can continue to intensify. With the constant, unrelenting, biological drive for sex distracting you, I believe you became susceptible to horrendously poor decision making, which explains your entire story. As a result, you flirted with satisfying both your mental and physical needs. Im confused… Statements 2,3 and 4 seem to contradict your first statement about him being diligent in pursuing and getting to know you. You know damn well when a guy hardly knows a girl and is this pushy in his pursuit, he primarily wants sex….Considering he already had over a thousand female friends on FB, you have no logical reason to assume he wants 1001. If you’re a school teacher, you have to be pretty smart to pass all the rigorous testing they put you through. You also have to possess basic social/interpersonal skills to successfully deal with the truck loads of crazy ass parents, who think their children are perfect….So I’m not buying any of what you’re saying. Why would you want to be friends with a guy you believed to be sketchy? What made you think it was a good idea to meet a man on the internet that you felt like you didn’t even know him? Shouldn’t you have gotten to know him much better before meeting him? The fact you admit his actions are sketchy means you probably realize his motive for impulsively buying tickets is most likely driven by sex…. I don’t see how it makes logical sense for you to continue to let this progress, given your values on sex (to be fare…I dont know if he’s sketchy, he could just have a different set of values.) Why would you want to be friends with a man who you are concerned might pressure you for sex because he was spending money on you? How is this exercising sound and logical decisions that accurately reflect what you stand for? I am not buying any of this story… Did you tell him you wanted to hang out as friends because you were worried he might pressure you into having sex...and why you thought this might happen? Why did you still continue to meet up with this guy after he was asking you these kinds of questions?...and considering you felt like you did not even know him? Furthermore, his values seem to be in stark contrast to what you say you believe in. This is all on you. He made his intentions crystal effing clear. You knew for sure at this point he is sexually interested in you. He’s not looking to have a slumber party filled with pillow fights, watching the Note Book and eating Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Therapy ice cream. Again you’re a 30 year old adult….12 year old girls knows this stuff. Did you communicate this internal monologue to him after the beach? You have to tell a man this immediately so you are not leading him on…otherwise, you are using him for some kind of personal benefit. Wow……are you serious? How is this not extremely selfish, desperate and immature of you? It appears you are totally fine stringing this guy along, wasting his time and money all because he is showing you attention. The saddest part of this is the fact you’re not even into him…. Honestly, this looks really pathetic on your part. You’re also sending this random guy extremely mixed messages and have no doubt confused the hell out of him. What?????!!! What about that inner monologue you had? That was a crystal clear answer! Wasting his time/money is being rude. Not telling him the truth about what you were thinking is even worse…stringing a man along who does not measure up to the other men you’re comparing him to is one of the worst things you can do to a man. It’s extremely cruel and nasty. Why in the hell would you continue to lead him on and ask these questions? You’re showing him you’re directly interested/curious, when you knew you had no intentions of having a relationship with him. You’re sending really mixed messages and looking totally desperate, lonely and extremely needy. I don’t see how you can ever have a successful relationship with a man, if you’re behaving this way…and not communicating your true thoughts. Why is this a turn off when he has a successful career in his own city? Is your expectation that he drops everything for you? Practically everything in your story seems to revolve around your satisfaction and what you want. Why can’t you move to the city he lives in? What?!?!?! Are you serious????? Either I have miss read so much of your message or you’re making NO logical sense…at all…what so ever. Given everything I have already pointed out, what is there for you to think about? How are you exercising logical/sound judgment that reflect your values, by considering this guy? Honestly, so fare the only alarming thing in this story is you. You’re a teacher who apparently lacks fundamental skills in logical decision making (which I hope is due to your sex drive clouding your mind and not a direct reflection of your overall cognitive abilities), you are leading on a “sketchy” guy you met on the internet because he gives you attention, you seem to not communicate what you are thinking and you say you want one thing but act as if you want the opposite. What the F&!@ did I just read? 1. You’re a 30 year old teacher who just dry humped and jerked off a man you’re not even interested in…but then say you don’t want sex?????......just let that sink in for a bit…..smh….wow. You could not send more mixed and contradictory messages if you tried. Also, you admitted to feeling like you did not even know this man…then why would you get in his bed and fool around with him? You seem like a real danger to society…like the type of women who will consensually fool around with a man and then when she regrets it, make false or misleading accusations …which can very easily destroy the rest of a man’s life. PLEASE DO MEN A FAVOR AND DON’T DATE THEM UNTIL YOU GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. 2. Even worse, you’re still not sure if he has a wife!? And yet you did all this?!?! 3. How the eff did you end up in his bed and in a position for dry humping? Did he just magically snap his fingers and presto you’re in his bed, lying next to him? No, here is what I think happened. You’re horny and yearn to emotionally and physically bond with a man. You were getting emotionally satisfied to some degree with the attention he was giving you…i.e him flying into town to visit you, his obvious sexual advances/suggestions….but that was not enough… You still have your physical needs that were being neglected. So you chose to go back to him knowing full well what you were getting yourself into. You made the decision to get in his bed. But physical acts are not abstract and seem more real. You regretted your decision to dry hump each other and then jerking him off. Since he was not your boyfriend or husband, you probably felt guilty for getting sexual pleasure from the dry humping. So now you’re trying to villainize him, hoping people will see you as the victim. I also think you were sexually satisfied in an emotional capacity, while you were giving him a hand job. When a person can sexually satisfy someone, it makes them feel good because it can be a huge ego boost…So when you had his penis in your hand and you saw his face and body language communicating he was loving it….I bet that boosted your ego and was satisfying for you. This is just pathetic if it is actually true. 4. How can you say…. Yet you can dry hump, jerk off a random guy you barely know and then not talk to him? 5. If for some reason you did not receive any sexual pleasure, I hope you realize how similar your actions are to prostitution. You met up with a random man online, whom you hardly knew, you were not even into him, worst of all he could have been married and then you finished the night by engaging him with non-penetrative sex….but instead of getting cash, you got attention....I feel sorry for you. 6. His deception????…he communicated to you what he wanted…You did not communicate your thoughts about not wanting to date him because he does not measure up to other men you’re interested in, he lives too far away, you were not enamored by his personality and et cetera. You had sexual contact with him yet said you did not want sex….You’re the one who appears to be playing the mind games here. You were the one testing your own waters. You knew exactly what he wanted and yet you were the one who made the decisions to let it get as far as it did and to keep going back to him. What?!?!?! Do you really think you’re a victim in this? He never meant anything to you either…. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Looks like it worked rather well on you. You could not have said it any better. You have to be desperate for male attention when you do the following things with a man you’re not even into: A) You continue to spend time with him, even though he might have a wife/gf B ) According to you displays sketchy behavior and you still continue to give him your time C) You continue to meet up with him despite thinking he could try to pressure you into sex because he is spending money on you D) Despite have vastly different core values, you crawl into his bed, dry hump and jerk him off anyways. Yeah id definitely say it worked on you…but I also believe you wanted it to work. I think you needed some sort of a release for you sexual frustration and when you pick a guy you can easily villainize, it makes it all that much easier to end it. You can also justify it to everyone else. So you think God’s plan was having you dry hump and jerk off a guy you don’t like, want a relationship with and worst of all, could have been another women’s husband? You’re kidding right? It looks like you’re trying to rationalize your horrendously poor decision making skills, selfishness, lustful desires, sexual frustration and a complete laps in logical reasoning. I totally disagree…could it have been His plan? Possibly but I doubt it. Like I said earlier, I think this all boils down to you being really horny, not having an outlet and then making a long list of terrible decisions that do not reflect your values. Nothing more. Judging is simply forming an opinion, thoughts and/or conclusions based on facts and information…so naturally when you post information, everyone reading will be judging you. OMG this is complete nonsense and I don’t think you’re being honest….These are not statements from a woman who feels special: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ You do realize you’re describing yourself….right? You’re the predator because you hid your true thoughts, ideas and intentions from him. You purposely did this because if you were honest with him, you would not get what you wanted, which is a "successful well-paid man" giving you lots of attention, kissing, dry humping and then giving a hand job when things started getting to far for you. He meant nothing to you and you had no intention of having a relationship with him. Looks like you chose to do it with someone that would be very easy and convenient to end things once you got what you wanted. He's out of state and you can easily make him look like a bad guy to your friends, family and pastor. Makes perfect sense....Now you can be the victim to everyone you share this experience with and continue to get more attention. He is not a predator because he communicated his honest intentions clear as day.
  16. Hey guys, I'm back after close to a year away. I guess the point of this thread is to just update you guys and look for some support. I'm having a really tough time again right now emotionally. For those who don't know, I struggle with depression and anxiety and it seems to be almost entirely linked to "relationships". Up until I first discovered what love kind of was for myself, I never had any issues at all with depression or anxiety. I was a motivated, successful, happy go lucky guy and had very little interest in relationships or anything. That all changed about the time I turned 18 though. Rambling story for context: I'm 25 years old now and I've never had any kind of successful romantic relationship with anyone. I had a couple naive ones when I was 18 and 19 and just figuring out kind of what love is, but they honestly weren't anything to speak of. Technically, they were my "girlfriends" but it was pretty dumb. I saw the first girl in person like once during the 2 weeks we went out and I never kissed her or anything. The second girl lasted a little longer and I saw her a little more (in secret because her parents did not allow her to date). She was my first kiss and that was an amazing feeling at the time, but I honestly never should have went out with her. That only came about because she helped me recover from the first girl. During the time between the first girl and second girl, I went through a really dark period. The pain was really strong and it lasted for probably about 6 months. Functioning day-to-day was a really difficult thing for me. Anyway, ever since then, any time I begin to crush on a girl or have feelings towards them (reciprocated or not), I begin to get really anxious. And if things don't go well and she doesn't reciprocate, I become very depressed. It's become a pattern that just keeps repeating itself. Most of the time, if feelings are removed from the situation (i.e. after I recover from the heartbreak), I question myself as to how I could be so dumb and to let myself fall into the same trap. More often than not, I crush on someone that I have an extremely small likelihood of ever having any sort of chance of being involved with in the first place. Too often I fall for girls that live way too far away. When I was 22, I even crushed on a girl that wasn't quite 18 yet. Heck, I've even crushed on a lesbian before, though I began liking her before I knew about this. Not all of these crushes have led me to becoming severely depressed, but more often than not I fall into bad anxiety and depression that lasts for at least a couple weeks and as long as a few months. It's so frustrating that I can never learn. I just want to have a chance with the girls I crush on so badly because at the time they feel so right for me and so perfect in my mind. In between these crushes, I almost "swear off" feelings or relationships or anything because I don't want to feel the horrible pain inside ever again. But sure enough, my heart lets it happen again despite my mind knowing that it's probably a bad idea. I end up praying very hard that this is the girl for me, but it never works out no matter what I do. I just don't understand how it can be so easy for some people. Maybe my standards are too high or I'm too shy. Maybe I'm just really unlucky. Or maybe it's just me. I don't know. Well anyway, as you've guessed, here we are again. I've got a huge crush on a girl I met online, who lives across the entire country. After only a few weeks of really talking, I'm already really into her. We've talked for many hours on video chat and I care about her a lot. She has her flaws and own mental health issues, I can see that. But I am willing to do anything to help her because she is a very good and very special person who had some tough breaks in life. I told myself not to get emotionally invested, but I just can't help it. I know she cares about me, but I don't know how much honestly or if it’s in the same kind of way I care about her (probably not yet, but I feel like there is strong potential). I don't really feel like this would be the best time for her to get involved, but I am willing to wait until that time, if I ever were to get the opportunity. As I said, she lives far away, however she does have family close enough to where I live, to where a meetup could be possible. She's talked about it possibly before, but as for when, we have no idea about that. I really wish I could have taken a "wait and see" approach here. Just being friends and enjoying talking to each other with no real hope or desire for anything more until the potential meetup would be a much better approach. However, my heart has threw that out the window at this point lol. I honestly might just be completely irrational right now and she might not feel anything at all close to what I feel. However, she obviously cares about me to an extent and we have a lot of fun talking to each other for many hours. I should also mention, given what site this is, that she is also a virgin like me. Waiting until marriage is really important to me, and I believe it is to her as well. While she isn't a Christian like me, her religion also stresses the importance of waiting until marriage. While we haven't ever spoken about it, she's made quite a few comments indicating that she is very serious about doing just that also. Anyway, I'm very sorry for the extremely long, rambly post, but I'm hurting pretty badly right now. I don't know how likely this could end up being. Based on recent history, I don't think very much. But I desire a real chance so very badly. I am really starting to think that it may never happen for me and that just kills me. I know the conventional solution is to just go after girls living near me, but I really don't enjoy the random dating game, nor am I very skilled or interested in it. I feel like the type of girls around where I live just aren't as desirable, aren't on the market, or things just never progress to a natural point where I go out with them. I don't even know what I need or what I should do. I've tried therapy before and it was helpful to an extent, but it never helped solve whatever deep, underlying issues I have. Anyway, thanks for listening to me vent. If you have any comments, questions or recommendations, please feel free to reply. I need help and I would love to hear everyone's thoughts! I value them very much! EDIT: Also, I’m not sure if/when/how I should tell her about my beliefs and virginity. I feel like she would really like that and respond well to it but I don’t usually mention that to girls I like and I don’t want it to be weird or hurt my chances. Depending on how I do it, I feel like it could be weird and out of place lol. What do you guys think?
  17. Melancholy Music

  18. I personally have some anxiety issues. To somehow deal with it, I work out a lot to angry music. Just try to transform that negative energy into something productive. Believe it or not it makes an anormous difference. Also I started taking anti-anxiety pills (supplied by Canada drugs) due to very bad panic attacks and depression. Those two methods are absolutely effective for reducing my anxiety in tough situations. Not to overpay, I order my pills online
  19. Everything but Sexual Intercourse

    Absolutely not. I would not have any kind of relationship with a guy that was into everything but sexual intercourse until marriage, nor would I have a relationship with a guy that was into any of this "everything but" stuff after marriage either. Yes, a guy should come out and say that he does not believe in premarital sexual intercourse. When the topic of sex comes up, it's not hard to say "I don't believe in premarital sexual intercourse, but I'm okay with doing everything but" or "I don't believe in any kind of sexual activity before marriage, ETC...
  20. Girls, Would you date and have a long term relationship with a guy that was into everything but sexual intercourse until marriage. Should a guy just come out and say to a woman that he does not believe in premarital sexual intercourse?
  21. Why do guys do this?...

    Maybe they are just trying to virtue-signal to their girl? Maybe he thinks if she notices him staring at you then she will get jealous, so he's trying to pre-emptively reassure her by publicly flaunting their relationship.
  22. You sound far more mature than me from the past. I had countless opportunities, but at the last minute, I always said "No". You did the right thing. He would have left even if you were nonvirgin. The only difference is that he would have done that after receiving what he aimed for. However, we really need to understand that waiting is beneficial to the society. It is a practical choice.
  23. Guys. Make-up or natural?

    No make up. Unless it's for a formal event
  24. I agree with the above comment. Kind of painting your wife as a trophy and really limiting your potential dating pool even further. And I remember the same topic... She seemed like a nice girl :/. If she doesn't have X in common with you who cares? That's the fun of it. Might even find you like something she likes if you step out of your comfort zone. I don't know how to say this without coming off as a jerk.. ever consider the problem is you? You seem to self pity a lot and I don't think any girl would want to deal with that (not even mentioning your trophy wife standards). It's amazing what a little self confidence could do for you. Try working out your own problems first man
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