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  2. BIzarre hypothetical situation

    I would make them fight to the death for me, or I would just kill them both and then get a third husband. Because if I can trick two guys into wanting to marry me, then I can trick a third into wanting to marry me. No need to try to choose between my first two husbands.
  3. BIzarre hypothetical situation

    Hopefully I don’t have kids with them both!!?!?!?!?! Dear God that would suck. @Invincible Thanks for the thought provoking scenario. It helps me to better understand myself, which would benefit my hypothetical marriage one day….The older I get, the more hypothetical it’s becoming haha This is one of those situations most people don’t truly know what they would do/feel until they go through it. I do not know for sure but here is my best guess: I agree with the above comment…I’ll just have to go full on Dexter on wife 2. After I’m done burying the body somewhere in the woods, I’ll rake in that life insurance policy and splurge on wife 1…haha kidding. Personally, my love for each of them would be unequivocally EQUAL. That being said…I think I would stay with wife 2. That would be totally unfair if I chose to end our marriage for another women. UNTIL DEATH DO US PART…so if wife 1 is reasonable presumed dead, I honored that first commitment and unfortunately it abruptly ended…so it’s now over… I would like to think I would honor my new commitment with the same integrity and remain faithful to wife 2. If I had kids with them both? That is probably the only time I’d think about a polygamous marriage lol…Only if they were both ok with that idea. Maybe you can do another post from the women’s point of view?….wife 1 has 2 children with her husband and one day they are kidnapped for ransom. The money was not delivered on time and the kidnappers fake the execution of wife 1 and the 2 kids. They are presumed dead. Several years later they are released but she finds her husband remarried and has 2 kids with wife 2…. Ladies, what do you do if you’re wife 1? Could you do a polygamous marriage if wife 2 is 100% ok with it? Do you move on and remarry but keep in touch with him because he is the bio dad to his kids? Do you stay single but let him be a part of the kids’ lives? Would you be tempted to still have sex with him, despite knowing he’s with wife 2 or would all feelings of love and intimacy be over?
  4. Your right, it is important to believe similar things. Ironically, I've actually never met a girl who really repented for having sex or chose to recommit herself for marriage. Maybe that is why I don't seem to ever feel any different. None of the women I've met feel the same way about sex that I do. But, It is indeed an emotional thing. With these women, I always hold back a part of myself I've noticed so it's hard to really develop any deep feelings. Probably because what happened with my first girlfriend... But thats not fair to any of these women at all. I've always tried to force myself to accept that partners have a past cause I've heard nothing but "get over it" from everyone aside from the people on here. It is best to find someone likeminded. Thanks though for the advice.
  5. Why not just tell her that you think your beliefs clash and you don't think a relationship with her will give either of you what you really want? She wants one thing, you want another. Break up and you will both be free to go do what you want.
  6. Personally I don't think wanting to be with a virgin, even if you arent one yourself, is a demand. I think it's an emotional preference, and maybe one that you need to be secure and happy. If it hurts you to be with people who have a past, you're not a bad or judgemental person for wanting to wait for a virgin. I still believe you can repent for the experience you had and strive to be closer to your original plan to stay a virgin and be with a virgin. I'll let you in on my personal experience: I am a female virgin. I never wanted to be with a man who wasnt a virgin. But I met a man in exactly your situation, only he decided that he deeply regretted what he had done and wanted to repent for what he did. And immediately, his past didn't matter to me any more, entirely because of the fact that he regretted what he did. Maybe this is just me, but I want to say that what matters most for a girl is what you WANT to be, not necessarily what you've done in the past. As long as, yknow, you're not an abuser who takes that for granted and continually relapses on things you said you didn't want to do.
  7. Hmmm, care to elaborate there...? I don't see anything written
  8. Yesterday
  9. Random Thoughts

    Yeah... Welcome back!
  10. Random Thoughts

    Well, it's been awhile....
  11. I was not clear in my original post. I'm fine with a girl who has done other types of sex. Vaginal sex would not be okay for me. But I can say I haven't done that with complete confidence. That's always been my hard limit/boundary. I just ask that my mate not have gone all the way. I could care less about other things. Anyway, I'm back with this woman. I need to break up with her because she is completely toxic for me. She isn't trying to wait and tries constantly to get me to go all the way with her. If I stay, one day I'm probably going to go all the way and totally burn my bridge. Thanks for the advice, Innocence. I found your answer the most helpful, not to say any of the other advice wasn't good either. I know what I have to do and I need to do it quick.
  12. No longer fun..... (?)

    Ah right. I didn't know used to lead here. My bad!
  13. Random Thoughts

    So, a couple of hours ago at the concert I was at, I tried to get a picture taken with the singer for the first band that played because they were taking some pictures at their merch table after their set was over and before the set of the next band started. But there was only 15 minutes between the sets, and they were going to leave early after that so they travel to the next show, and they weren't at the table for the first couple of minutes, so it was only really a 10 minute or so window for getting a picture taken with the singer. I stood in line to try to get one, and if I was a bit closer in line and/or there were a couple more minutes left, then I would have likely gotten one because I was one of the next few people in line before the time was up. Little disappointed that I didn't get to get a picture with her, but I tried. (Also she's shorter than me. )
  14. No longer fun..... (?)

    But I always used the abbreviated version, It was a direct link to I briefly thought the site was gone when linked to
  15. I am a graduate student at the moment and while I am not married yet, I also feel pursuing a relationship while in graduate school depends on the person. I also feel similar to you Bob about not wanting to pursue a relationship while in graduate school. The main reason why I feel this way is because I do not have time to really devote my energy to that relationship. However, I do feel that having relationships are important. For example, I think it is important to have a support group including circle of friends. I think what helped me wait while in graduate school is finding a group of friends who share similar values. As Gema, articulated well graduate school is a sacrifice but I also think it is well worth it if you enter your program for the right reasons. You change and grow as a person when you enter this period in your life and feel it will be a benefit to your future relationship with your wife.
  16. I also get where you are coming from. I do not think waiting till marriage is considered normal by society standards. I know I have felt similar as I become older and I still choose to wait till marriage because for me I feel sort of alone in my decision to wait and at my age it feels like people are getting married or already married. Like Vince, I have not been in romantic relationship with a woman yet and I sometimes feel the pressure of hooking up with a woman. However, I know that would go against my principles on sex and relationships. Hang in there Will. There are people like myself who understand a little bit of what you are going through and support you.
  17. Last week
  18. No longer fun..... (?)

    It's not a dead link though... is there, just as it's always been
  19. No longer fun..... (?)

    I wish the chatroom was still working
  20. Not going to church in and of itself would not be a red flag for myself. Too many people form naive suppositions about others based on that persons actual or imagined church attendance- i.e. "that person couldn't have been the thief, they go to church at......" Just as sitting in a car dealership doesn't make oneself an automobile, attending church doesn't make a person a believer (obedient or not). I think a person's character and lifestyle is far more important than their church going status. Unfortunately, there are a lot of churches out there but the overall quality doesn't seem very high. Many have flawed doctrine and are very weak on preaching. For instance, not many churches will actively promote waiting. They might mention it in their publications, but most are not actively preaching sermons on it. Ideally, Christians would be in good churches most Sundays, but these are not ideal times we are living in. Now, if someone had a hostility towards going to church or a hostility towards church in general, that would be definitely be a red flag (or more like "U-Turn" sign ) for me. But, I would rather have someone who actually lives a proper Christian lifestyle than someone who just has proper church attendance.
  21. "Do you think being a waiter also makes you prone to abstinence with other things, or is this just me?" There are definitely some very strong correlations but I don't think that that is the causation. I think it is more that the reasons/beliefs/ideas that led one to be a waiter are also what influences ones outlook on other matters. So for me, being a waiter is the natural conclusion of the beliefs I have. I don't drink, don't smoke, don't use narcotics, etc.... (I do eat meat though ) but it's not because of being a waiter. It is because of some of the same reasons I have for being a waiter. I think a desire for purity and a focus on health influences all of these things.
  22. Hi, recently joined

    Thank you red grapes. This site has been very interesting so far.
  23. Set a fire down in my soul,

    That I can't contain, that I can't control,

    I want more of You, God

    I want more of You, God

  24. Hi :) I'm new here

    Hi Haydee. Welcome to the forum!
  25. Hi, recently joined

    Hi Donna. Welcome to the forum! I look forward to reading any posts you decide to make.
  26. No longer fun..... (?)

    Yeah... We need more posts... But I think we lost a lot of members when became a dead link, and people assumed the site was offline...
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