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  1. Today
  2. Hey. I’m looking for advice regarding a guy I’m talking to who has sexual needs and watches pornography, whereas I am not sexual at all and I would want to wait until after marriage. We haven’t been talking for a long period of time at all, but we talk a lot daily. We’re not actually in a relationship, but we both like each other a lot and care for each other a lot. The way things seem to have been going is leading to a relationship, however, we have both made it perfectly clear that I am not sexual and do not intend to have sex until after marriage, but he however has sexual needs and watches pornography to fulfill those needs. He said he doesn’t have a problem with me not being sexual and won’t force anything on me, but he still has to take care of his needs. However, I don’t like him watching porn. It upsets me that he looks at other women and won’t wait for me until I’m ready even if we were in a relationship and he loved me. We are happy talking to each other and everything is going well, besides the fact that he watches porn. We’ve been discussing and arguing about it for the past few days now. He keeps saying I’m trying to change him and he won’t just stop watching. I told him I’d try to move past it, but I don’t know if I can. I like him a lot and I don’t know what to do. If others could help/give me advice, I’d greatly appreciate it.
  3. Hey Vince, glad to hear that you're done with school and hope you find yourself a job and a wife soon ! "Slightly disturbing love affair with Disney"...them's fightin' words, lol!
  4. Yeah, I hear you about school. Thought I would be done by now, but still am not. Actually, I'm not really into anime. I prefer other types of animation.
  5. Mark's back! We missed you and your slightly disturbing love affair with Disney. lol. Good to hear you're doing well. I will be following you on those links you provided. I'm pretty good. I finished school and now looking for a job. Still waiting (and a virgin) though hopefully I won't have to wait much longer
  6. Hey all, Mark again doing a 2018 checking-in!

    Hey Mark! Glad to hear from you, brother! I am still in graduate school at the moment and hopefully finish this year. I hope you are enjoying college and I am glad to hear you are still an anime and Disney fan! I am still waiting and still single myself. My life really has not changed much. School has mostly been eating up my time.
  7. Hello fellow WTM-ers, Many of you know me already, but for those who don't, please call me Mark. I'm a 26 y/o who was a member (and later admin) of this site from 2011-2015. I left after I felt I gave everything I could offer to the site, but I do like to pop in from time to time to see how everyone's doing. I've noticed I haven't popped in since! So how is everyone doing? All my old friends like Vince, Kendra, Cou, Sally, DodgeDude, slayerofdragon, BelleFemme, AussieStig, Matthew, Mark, Jegsy, etc? And to all you new(er) members, my heartiest greetings to you all! My life is pretty much the same. I'm STILL in college (ALMOST done, but I keep getting setbacks), still single (and a virgin), still a fan of Disney and animation, still a fan of film, in general, still a blogger, etc. If anyone wants to keep in contact, you can follow me on Twitter: @The_Anim_Comm. Or you can check out my blogs at and Hoping to hear from some of you again!
  8. Yesterday
  9. A few thoughts: You asked if this kind of behavior is normal. Who cares? What matters is if you're uncomfortable and/or don't appreciate it. I assume you've communicated your boundary very clearly, as in: "You keep asking me for nude pictures. I have told you no and I will not change my mind. Stop asking now." If you've been wishy-washy on that point, it's time to be incredibly clear and leave no room for misunderstanding. This is an absolutely reasonable request to make. If he wanted to be a worthy partner for you, he could easily comply. If you've already been clear, and he has continued to ignore you, then I'm with @BigMat. He does not respect you. Instead he ignores your boundary, pretends not to notice your discomfort, and uses manipulative tactics to punish you when you don't comply. To me, that disrespect for your boundaries is a HUGE red flag, just as bad (if not worse) than the request for nude photos. He is not worthy of your trust. Move on. Tell yourself: "He has qualities that I am attracted to, but he failed a very basic test of being a good friend and partner. He didn't care about my feelings, pressured me, and tried to punish me when I exercised my choice. He put his desires ahead of mine. He did not take no for answer and ignored my boundaries. He is not trustworthy. I deserve much better."
  10. Last week
  11. A few of my former male friends who were like this, tended to be insecure with their bodily image. So a smaller female made them feel more dominate, strong and overall masculine. Some guys are fine if the girl is taller but not fine with the awkward looks they will receive in public. Nobody will look twice if the girl is shorter. Myself and other guys could care less about height...taller or shorter...Makes no difference.
  12. Is this normal? No. It is not normal for a male to behave this way if he has made a conscious decision and commitment to be a man. In fact, this is inappropriate behavior for any guy -- whether he has chosen to be a man or something less than one. I advise you to end your association with him right away as I assume that, like any intelligent self respecting woman, your desire is to have a relationship only with a guy who chooses to be a gentleman. A mere four weeks or so into interacting with you, this individual has revealed what his true intentions are and, they aren't in any way the intentions of a gentleman. He is not investing his time and attention into you so that he might get to know you, so that he might discover your beauty and who you are as a person. If your heart is what he desired, this is what he would be pursuing. Instead he is pursuing your body or rather, the use of your body to temporarily satisfy his lust. He is not endeavoring to fall in love with who you are as a person; he is endeavoring to use you for sex. As such, he is not a man, much less a gentleman -- he has chosen to be something less than these things. If a male is only willing to talk about sex with you then, that's the only part of you or your life that he is interested in. If he doesn't desire your heart far more than he desires your body then, he is unsuitable for a romantic relationship. If his desire is to use you as a means to pleasure himself, rather than to love and respect you then, you shouldn't invest any part of your life or yourself into him. You laid down some personal boundaries when you let this guy know that you are not comfortable or okay with showing him your naked body. He has repeatedly demonstrated that he doesn't have even the basic love or respect of a friend for you because he disregards those boundaries, continually pushing you to share pornographic photos of yourself. In the beginning the two of you talked and shared. You gave him a taste of your heart and who you are as a person -- you gave him a glimpse of your beauty. His actions have made it apparent that this isn't a part of you that he found appealing or interesting enough to pursue, as demonstrated by the fact that every time you talk, he pursues sex rather than your heart, your mind, and your emotions. The moment he finds out he isn't going to get anything sexual out of you, he hangs up -- he is done with you. You have nothing else to offer that he wants. He doesn't desire your heart, your intellect, your love, your true beauty -- anything other than using you as a means to sexually gratify himself. It has been a month. You've seen who he is and what he wants from you. Dump him today and move on. You are worthy of so much more than this individual.
  13. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, i can see you guys are together for little awhile, i dunno how old are you and what kind of relationship are you building, as for sure if its something serious and if there is an open comunication and understanding between you both, for sure he would know what would bother you to avoid it and whats would make you happy to do it, so the relationship may succed as its a life of two, but honestly i dont think hes that serious about the feelings side and pushing to the physically side forgetting they both are connected, thats why i suggest that you tell him about your concern and if he cares enough about you and your feelings he gonna ask it differently when you both are ready if not you better forget about him before its too late.
  14. Okay so me and this guy have started talking for a month now and everything was going well until the talking stage gotten more intense and he started talking about sex all the time ,its gotten to the point where when ever we talk on the phone or factime he ask me if i can send pics ,i always tell him no and when that happens he hangs up,i honestly like him just not when hes doing that type of stuff like hes a chill dude and i like lots of things about him but just not that so now idk what i should do,is this normal for you guys to always talki about that stuff ??
  15. Random Thoughts

    It was a beautiful, crisp, clear night when you look to the twinkling sky and your breath is taken away by its’ mesmerizing vastness. The only words to form from my lips, praise to our awesome and mighty Lord God! Have you shared a similar breathtaking experience?
  16. I like to see and hear about others artistic love of art runs deep.i have been an artist since 3 fingers painting will be until I am done on earth

  17. Ok. I've given this a lot of thought. As a victim, I must admit that your first post left me....confused, let's say, about your views. However I was also concerned with her, and where she seems to think she's at in the healing process. You see, I'm 38. I was 4 when my abuse occurred. I have had plenty of counseling and, although I'm sure some people are able to move on in just a few years time, my experience has been that things come up when we least expect them to. So, knowing, without a shadow of a doubt that your healed is a tricky conclusion. I know that, should I marry, I need a man who's not only caring and compassionate but also extremely patient. My advice is, if it's the start, as it seems to be...just take your time. Maybe you were just writing that first post in an unclear state of mind, but it does seem to indicate that this subject needs more attention on your part. If you do truly care for this girl, be there for her. If you fall in love with her, remember to take special care and always be open with her. Be her safe place. This kind of thing is not easy on anyone in a victims life, but remembering that we didn't have their experience is important. It hurts to know they've been through such pain, and that's natural. I would like to also say one thought that isn't really my place, but since I am a victim and am continually on a healing journey I feel I have to say this. Unless she has learned that this has not taken her value as aperson, and believes that she is worthy of a true and kind and loving relationship, and not just damaged goods (as is easy for us to believe as victims) I would put off marriage until she has worked through that and knows she's worth the world to you. I'm having a hard time trying to put this into words, but it's important that she knows, and believes and feels it, BEFOREHAND. If I can be of any help, please feel free to PM me.
  18. Your Dream Guy !!

    I definitely don't want a guy intimidated by strong women,also being strong doesn't mean to put men down to feel less of a man.
  19. Relational Comfort and Shaving Habits

    I shave for myself because I love
  20. Celebrity Crush?

    Yeah I’m the same way. I am attracted to cute women and almost never to stereotypically “hot” woman. The most beautiful ones I see, are in everyday life.
  21. You reminded me of a section of the Sermon on the Mount, which happens to be one of my favorite parts of the Bible. "Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away. Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." - Matthew 5:38-48 (KJV)
  22. How to deal with rape

    I completely agree with everything you said here. This has always been how I view those terms, as well as what I value and look for in a partner. It's very refreshing to see someone else find significance in one's mindset, which is often overlooked even by waiters in favor of the physical side. My interpretation of Christ's teachings and of the Bible in this regard are of the importance of the internal environment, the heart of an individual, rather than only external, law abiding legalism. I believe Jesus' teachings make this clear with comparisons such as hate to murder and looking upon a woman with lust as adultery. "Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer; and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him." - 1 John 3:15 (NASB) “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." - Matthew 5:27-28 (NASB) About the thread as a whole, I'm not sure I have anything new to add which anyone hasn't already covered, but perhaps you could try focusing on your own shortcomings pertaining to sexuality, which she has to come to terms with. Realize she has to bear with your own sins. Have you discussed the "PMO" issue with her? Does anything from your past hurt her feelings or make her uncomfortable? None of this is to criticize you whatsoever, but just to see if you can possibly shift your perspective. I'm not even sure these verses are applicable here (in which case I am very sorry for imposing), and any "speck in her eye" will be nonexistent if she was raped, but I thought maybe they could still be helpful in examining yourself: "Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother’s eye. " - Luke 6:41-42 (NASB) "Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how [a]can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye." - Matthew 7:3-5 (NASB) I believe you are making a sincere effort on her behalf trying to resolve negative feelings about what happened. I think it was considerate of you to deal with them separate from her as well, and to seek outside help so your struggle would be less of a direct burden on her. Truly, I hope it goes well for both of you.
  23. How Can You Know if You Are Ready to Be a Godly Wife?

    God is love,only one father of all childeran
  24. Earlier
  25. How Can You Know if You Are Ready to Be a Godly Wife?

    What a strange comment.i don't think the king of Kings god made any boundaries to separate any one from each other and god.god has provided enough on this planet for the most important words from the Bible is love others as I have loved you.maybe looking at it in the sense you are giving to these children of God you won't feel robbed?
  26. Ah. I'm glad justice and mercy work in tandem. I have a hard time forgiving millions of people for sneaking into my country illegally and robbing me.
  27. I would dream of a gym.oh yeah
  28. How Can You Know if You Are Ready to Be a Godly Wife?

    Speaking of being a godly woman, forgiveness is just one working in my heart.i am a work in progress,to me forgiving trump to me means I can forgive anyone,I also do feel he has done some things I can't feel good about like deporting brethern to a different country etc yes forgiveness has been on my mind for years.
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