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  1. Yesterday
  2. Why is virginity so important to you?

    I don't necessarily think you not wanting to be with a non-virgin has anything to do with forgiveness, but rather whether or not you are personally okay with dealing with potential consequences as a result of her not being a virgin. My views on this subject have changed dramatically in that I realize now more than ever that actions have consequences. So virginity is a bigger deal to me now than it was in the past. I would say continue to be open for God to change your heart. If He wants you to have a non-virgin for a wife, then have faith that He will give you the strength to work through that issue. But if not, then I don't think it's wrong to only want a virgin. I'm trying to do the same in my own life. I would hate to pass up on an amazing godly girl who happens to not be a virgin. I wish all young people could read this and take it seriously. Unless a person makes some serious amends to turn their lives around, wasting their youth sleeping around is not going to make them family material.
  3. I totally relate to this feeling so much. I'm approaching my mid-30's next year and it feels like I'm running out of time. As someone who wants kids, I don't have the luxury that young married couples have in waiting a few years before having them. If I do marry, I would have not choice but to have kids right off the bat. That means won't be much sex at all. While my future wife is pregnant and after giving birth, I wouldn't dream of burdening her with sex while she's recovering. When kids enter the picture, the less sex happens. I know life isn't fair, but I can't help but feel short-changed for exactly the reason you said. Many people typically enjoy casual sex in their youth for many years before they marry. For all I know my future wife may have experienced lots of sex before meeting me. Then there's me who chooses to resist my urges for many years and doing things the "right way," yet I will likely not get the chance to have much sex at all. Don't get me wrong, ultimately I'm waiting because it's the right thing to do. But some days I feel like what's the point in suffering in the wait when the pay off is so low? Everyone else (possibly including our future spouses) get all the fun when they're young, while we get the morsels. But on a more positive note, congrats on finding the one. I know the wait must have been really tough for you. But I sincerely hope you will be greatly rewarded for your patience.
  4. Last week
  5. This is so true. I honestly didn’t find it that hard to wait because I didn’t have the mindset of sleeping around. But once I was in a serious relationship and specifically when I was engaged, it became pretty frustrating because we had already made the commitment in our hearts but we knew we still had to wait until we were married. The other hard part about waiting was just knowing that so many people I knew were out there having wonderful sex with their partners and I sometimes felt like I was wasting precious years when I could be enjoying it as well.
  6. Why is virginity so important to you?

    It's indicative of the type of person that you are. There's a lot of people out there, who make different life choices. A girl who has taken advantage of her sexuality to go around seducing guys and being hedonistic instead of working towards a having family isn't the type of person that I want to spend my life with and have kids with. I'd rather be with someone who takes things slow and makes things special. Because I also like to make things special, for myself and those I love, I really appreciate life's more intimate moments. We can cross the threshold to married life together with no regrets.
  7. Never Met a Christian Man!

    This thread also is kinda old and the viewpoint(s), thoughts and ideas of the contributors have already been stated, however there were a couple things stated above that should be corrected: First: This is coming straight from the Bible not my words but 'His' Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. This is just a sampling of the words God has to say about sex and doing son unmarried. I totally agree with Vince on this though and it's such a sad sight to see to be honest. To sell 'The Word' short and water down the message just to accept the sins of the community. This is the by=product as I've said in previous posts on these forums of the church becoming a "for-profit" business. Which you'll ask the question where or how does the church the become for-profit??? It became for-profit when the Pastoral team and the church staff depend upon the "feel good" non-offensive message to draw their paychecks and their obtain their livelihood. However we're and yes I just said "WE" as I'm a hardcore Jesus Follower who attends church every weekend, and works on several ministry teams in addition to my "day job". However it is such terrible sight to see in the post modern church in which we live, where as even @Will H shared that the Pastor was okay with sex outside of the marital bed (Or Countertop, or Sofa or there's gotta be a reason why they call it the "Loveseat") However I digress: I go ahead and chime in on the original topic from @Dandy Lion As well as what @Hope7 There are lots of decent Christian guys out there though maybe we're often not the strikingly handsome guys with the 6-figure income, 6-figure pickup truck and 6-bedroom home overlooking the seashore but then as Christian folks we should be very wary of all those 6's anyhow, Lol!
  8. Been so lonely as of late.

    Sorry to hear it. Hope that things work out better for you soon.
  9. 2MetresAbove is is here!

    Hey Kris, Welcome to the forums! I can relate with your perspective. I have had limited dating experience myself (never made it to the 2nd date), and most of the women I have asked out either have boyfriend or just want to stay friends. I hope you enjoy your stay while you are here. Chris
  10. Have you ever experienced racism?

    Have I as an AA guy ever experienced racism, ... Well that's probably like asking me if I've ever been cold or hot. I'm thankful that I mostly grew up in SoCal away from the south where I was born where this sort of behavior was not only born but accepted by all. Growing up in the "liberal" SoCal melting pot meant that I had and still have friends from many diverse ethnic and racial groups. That I've not dated a lot but the couple women I've dated have been from diverse racial groups. It's meant that I was exposed to different cultures and backgrounds and began to develop my mindset and view of people as just human beings with different melanin production and features. Unfortunately yes I have experienced racism, whether that's been dating and maybe the girl her parents they "simply cannot imagine" their daughter being with a tall black guy. Or being pulled over for a simple, routine traffic stop and I'm handcuffed whereby my Caucasian friend who's actually the dude who's getting irate is simply told to calm down. Or systemic racism whereby that I'd apply for that job and as soon as I walk into the room office for the interview I know that they're looking for someone who doesn't look like me. But like I mentioned above I've been blessed to have lived a lot of my life in the Southwest and in very liberal parts of SoCal. That's meant that I've not received this for the most part as my way of living. However the dating thing does get to me more so than anything else and I've posted here on these forums about this topic. It's one of the only topics I've introduced actually. As I feel mostly most people aren't outwardly subjectively racist but it's the subtlety and "preferences" that are actually highly prevalent in racial groups. Or if not the person but their "family pressure" to be with someone from their own racial group/ethnic culture.
  11. Earlier
  12. sovereignty of God vs human dominion

    This is a very good topic, I'll post my commentary momentarily.
  13. Been so lonely as of late.

    Thank you! Yeah, it's hard having no connections. I do however have a few people I see on a regular basis which is nice. I am just trying to get everything ready for the drive back which takes a lot of work. Jobs, etc. However I have definitely learned a lot from the Lord being here and it is not a total waste. The fact that He wants me here still shows me I'm where I'm supposed to be. I'm just honestly antsy though to see my Dad since he got diagnosed with cancer. Any prayers would be fully appreciated.
  14. Been so lonely as of late.

    Well.... I came out here to flee abuse. I had finally recognized why I'm so behind in life and relationships -- because my mother was abusive. I hadn't recognized it before. I also came out here because my ex is out here. I am in my own separate place currently. I moved into a house with him and his sister. We were planning on getting our own place. THANKFULLY that didn't happen. I realize I had been deceived, and that I should have never been living with a man. I had felt like I was out of options in California. I DEFINITELY heard the Lord say I needed to leave my house, and that I was a slave there. I realize now I had allowed my reality and feelings to crowd out the fact I was supposed to stay in California, just find elsewhere to go and maybe take time to get with the Lord. It was hard because I felg stuck. Eventually, I settled going to Canada. I never really wanted to come here in the first place and felt like it was dark. Within three weeks, I was reading my text messages the other day, and my ex began getting violent with me. Along with controlling manipulative and isolating. Anyway, that's how I got out here. Per the LORD He has gotten me housing and everything I need out here. I was relying upon my ex's phone and prophetic healing, plus I didn't know anyone out here. Now I recognize, my text app has free calling for US and Canada. I also finished my healing so far anyway with the Lord. He used both to manipulate me.
  15. Favourite things about guys: I don't know, nothing I can think of that would apply to guys in general and not just an individual guy. Least favourite things about guys: Their sexuality, sex drive, sexual interests/desires, and their genitals. I know guys don't usually actively choose those things for themselves, but I still don't like those things in anybody. Totally kills my interest in guys and relationships.
  16. Ahhhhh here's an oldie but a goodie (the topic I mean) My favorite thing about girls/women: I'd agree with what Vince said above about women being easier to "open up" to that's true. To add though they're also a bit more tactful you know. Like responding to things, say a text or email and more chatty as far as asking questions like how's your day or something. My least favorite thing: I dislike how at times most things have so much emotion behind them. That it seems as though women have greater difficulty dividing emotion and logic.
  17. Why is virginity so important to you?

    Reading through these replies though this post is years old and some of the members aren't even active on this forum any longer. But it's boosted my morale a bit with this waiting journey. I recently met someone in person from this online community and thought we had a decent friendship going but then things have gone "south". Therefore I'm a bit frustrated, some of you may know this but of this person shall remain nameless in good taste. Virginity has always been very important to me, first because of my faith relationship with a God. Though followed up by the the ideal that I want to only ever be with my wife. To Love her like no other before and give her that part of me and she do the same. Now that being said and I've struggled/wrestled with this as I've gotten older the idea of Dating/Courting/Loving/Marrying a non-virgin. I'm still undecided but if so I'd think about this way how could I hold her sin against her when God doesn't do that me or the rest of humanity of course. But I don't know I'm still in the contemplating stage of this idea. I just kinda want for it really mean something to her you know, but just sex and the physical stuff but rather the relational stuff where we can be authentic and upfront. I think/believe another virgin would understand this and it'd be significant for her you know. Again I don't know though, I'm still open to what God's plan is for my life.
  18. Here's a question I haven't given my two cents upon. Well maybe, ... I'm kinda tall at 6-6 so maybe a bit shorter. But overall a feminine version of myself yes I would, she'd be a Christian, have a depth of heart and be physically fit.
  19. Been so lonely as of late.

    Hey, I am sorry that you are dealing with theses circumstances. I can relate with your feeling that you do not really have a community. I had the same feeling when I went to graduate school in another state that was pretty far away from my home. I wanted to go home. I think it is great that you are connecting here and I am glad to see you again on the forums. Chris
  20. Been so lonely as of late.

    I'm sorry dealing with all that. I can relate to feeling like most people around me are too preoccupied with other things. Why are you stuck in Canada in the first place?
  21. Part of it is because I'm in Canada which is not my home state, and I don't have internet where I'm living. I'm going back to the states in about two and a half weeks and DYING for that. I never hung out with friends much there anyway, as all my friends were usually wrapped up in other things. I know I need to connect with the Lord more, but I am so struggling because of the circumstances. And when I seem to get motivated, either to relax or whatever else, another trial comes up. Fleas in my bed. Washing machine overflowing and mold. My ex popping up and freaking me out and tapping on my car window twice, once in mid traffic. Now I'm trying to stay away from my go to to save money which is Tim Hortons, and I feel more alone than ever. Not to where I used to feel which was that I NEEDED a husband. But I feel and felt like everyone else has everyone around them all the time. A husband, friends, children. Etc. Help.
  22. I've been lonely as of late. Consider the "luck" you've had with women could have also been the Lord giving you that purity and blessing you in disguise because of it.
  23. 2MetresAbove is is here!

    If anyone wishes to become chat buddies, please add me on Skype: I am trying to remove this account from here, due to some reasons. If any admin/mod reads this, please proceed to remove my acc, however leave the info I have posted in this thread. Cheers!
  24. 2MetresAbove is is here!

    Thank you for words of encouragement. In God's will.
  25. Late bloomer or unattractive wouldn't make a difference to me. I'm just worried about it they are like minded in beliefs and morals.
  26. My dear brother, your story breaks my heart. I'm so, so sorry that Jesus' people haven't been there for you in the ways that you've needed, though I'm impressed that you keep showing up to church when it's not a place where you've found solace. Good for you! It seems like you are deep in a dark place, and I hope and pray that you find your way out. I don't know if you're looking for advice from people on the internet, but let me recommend seeing a good counselor and having a talk with a trusted mentor or church leader. Both might give you valuable perspective and wisdom. I will be praying that you remember you are an accepted and beloved part of Christ's body (whether you feel like it or not) and that you have a community where you can love and be loved by God's people. Take courage, my brother.
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