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  2. I first joined in February 2014 (age 18). Relationship status: single Virginity status: virgin, never kissed or made out with anyone WTM status: waiting till marriage. My reasons for doing so were that I couldn't see myself having sex with someone I wasn't extremely emotionally close to and didn't trust. I considered sex a way of expressing that closeness and trust. As of now, February 2020 (age 24): Relationship status: still single. I tried dating for a while, but didn't enjoy it. Virginity status: virgin, but I've kissed and made out with a couple of people. Also didn't enjoy it. WTM status: it's complicated. A couple of years after joining this forum, and thanks in part to discussions on here, I started becoming more comfortable with the idea of sex, which I wasn't before. I decided that while I was still waiting for a close emotional bond to go all the way, I wanted to explore the rest and challenge my comfort zone through dating. I did so, and realised that actually, I didn't care about sex, kissing, or dating at all - what I'd wanted all along was the closeness, but I'd thought romance and marriage were the only way to get it. Long story short, after a lot of questioning, I figured out I'm asexual and aromantic. I've since been focusing on other ways to be close to people, and I couldn't be happier. Turns out I'd much, much rather have a best friend than a husband. Because of this, it's very unlikely I'll have sex or even be in a relationship, now or in the foreseeable future. I can't say I never will, but if it does happen, I'll still need to build trust over a long period of time before doing the deed. And if it doesn't happen, I'm 100% fine being celibate and a virgin for the rest of my life. In fact, as things stand, I'd much prefer it that way
  3. Your Dream Guy !!

    Loyal, trustworthy Good communicator Someone who will talk things out with me such as in when I am facing a decision (really important to me) Intelligent in a variety of ways: curious about the world, emotional intelligence Appreciates humor Respect is mutual Someone who actually cares about me and is willing to help me. I want him to say, "I am here". And I will appreciate him to the ends of the earth in return. (Because I know the opposite all too well. I'm independent and do things on my own.) Someone who will hold my hand and hug me everyday. Once in a relationship, I don't have to wonder if he loves me or hear him speak the words, because I will just know. Someone who will accept my daughter. She's never called anyone "dad". Have an unwavering belief in God Doesn't have a big ego
  4. New Facebook Group

    We've started a new facebook group. Come join us! Thanks, Geraldine, for the idea!
  5. I enjoyed getting on the chatroom. It was always good to talk to people I knew on there and meet new people. A lot of times I was on it in the early hours of the morning since that was when traffic on it seemed to pick up. If there was a slow moment at work, I could get on it for a while there.
  6. If you put the website or the forum address into the wayback machine you will still be able to view a lot of the content even after it is shut down. As of right now, the last time it made any copies of the sites was in July 2019, so it won't have every thing captured. It also won't have any content from restricted sections available either.*/*/
  7. In general, I will miss having a place where I can interact with other people who agree with me on one of the things that distinguishes us so much from others. There are other websites dedicated to WTM, but this is the WTM forum I know of. It was always nice to know that there were other people like myself out there.
  8. Earlier
  9. Please help... I feel so conflicted

    Sometimes our fate is written for us before we knew we could make a choice, such as sexual, mental, and physical abuse as a child and atheism forced upon you when you needed your faith or not having anyone to trust when you are young and vulnerable. Then as young adults, sexual promiscuity, pregnancy, unhealthy relationships are really a result of the circumstances and not knowing any better or any different. But the good news is that you are seeing the Truth - you are seeing that you are worth MORE in Christ. It takes time, but God will heal you - from your past, from the psychological traumas, and build your self-esteem back up. You will also see that you will need to work on your present life - to shape it in a way that encourages you to stay on the right path. And doing this for your children is also motivation! You can't change your past, but you can change your children's lives by changing yours.
  10. My faith is so integral to who I am, if I lost my faith I would lose hope in life itself let alone my conviction in waiting.
  11. Favorite thing about guys: They are quicker to share a laugh with me than women. Least favorite thing about guys: Some of them are dangerous; It is part of being a woman to know how to keep oneself safe. (Not the men on this site though, thank the heavens above).
  12. Great post, Slayer. I love that I can explore any topic I dream up. I enjoy hearing other people's perspectives. And I feel like I know personally the people that are here. I love that the common ground of everyone here is a based on a value system. That's a pretty cool thing to be united over.
  13. Female Body Hair

    Yes, I could accept her in her natural state. I think hair on a woman is normal.
  14. Long-distance relationship?

    I think long-distance dating has its challenges and often does not work out. However, I have a relative who is still married to her online sweetheart from across the country. First she moved to him, had two kids. Now they moved back to where she lives.
  15. I hope you will join us at the other site, Amber Elizabeth ( It's not as good but it is something! And it can be as good as we build it to be. --- It was 2013 when I joined this site. When I first discovered this site, I had come up with the idea that I would like to WTM but I was a non-virgin at the time. I googled to see if this was a "thing". I found this site. I looked further to see if it was a virgin-only site and I saw in Mike's writings that it was not a virgin-only site but simply WTM. Yay! I was single at that time. I didn't know how "far" was too far in waiting. That is why I participated in the forums so much, because I was exploring where I stood on many different topics. Some of my views have evolved over time. Fast forward to now, I am single and celibate. It has been a good thing in that as it has helped shaped me in who I am today and I learned to stand firm in my values. I haven't had a boyfriend in ages and that's okay. It's easy to get a boyfriend. Much harder to have a boyfriend who is compatible and WTM. But that's okay because I realize it is worth it. And it is better for my daughter for me not to move forward with anyone unless they are stellar even if that ends up being no one. She really likes our family just the two of us, so I don't want to change that unless some miracle happens. And so far it hasn't happened. I think that is the deal about being a non-virgin single mom waiter. We are really outside of the norm but have committed to self-development. Today my commitment to celibacy is stronger than ever. I am thankful for this site and the friends I have met along the way. It has been very flattering to know that there are some virgins who have been interested in me over the years even as a non-virgin single mom. I think WTM is really the belief in hope. That there is something worth waiting for, and it is not just sex but a good and loving relationship. The hope that there is something better out there even if you can't see it in front of you.
  16. The site is going down starting March 1 so I thought that I would ask the question: what will you miss about and what do you love about the site? I will start. I will miss the camaraderie that I gained from being a member. I created and established many friendships here and I will miss the opportunity to make friendships with future WTMers. This was to me the “watering hole” where people with similar like minds could come and gather. As a member, I loved the forums. I loved interacting and getting to know fellow members through reading and commenting on their posts. What about you?
  17. Would you buy tampons and/or pads

    I wouldn’t mind getting my girlfriend/wife those female necessaries especially if it is an emergency.
  18. I joined in Dec 2011 (age 26) Relationship status: Single, never dated. Virgin Status: Virgin WTM status: Waiter Fast forward to January 2020 (age 34) Relationship status: I dated for a year and it ended in a breakup. Virgin Status: I am still one. WTM status: I am still a waiter and don’t see that changing for the future until I meet the mrs.
  19. This post will get slightly VDA-ish. First joined in January 2014 (Age 19) Relationship status: Single, never dated or been in a relationship, not really looking for one Virginity staus: 110% virgin WTM staus: Wasn't really interested in sex, but only wanted it with husband if I ever was. My staus in February 2020 (Age 25). Relationship status: Single, never dated or been in a relationship, not looking for one Virginity staus: 110% virgin (unless having sex with yourself counts ) WTM staus: Thinking about staying celibate for life, thinking about having a celibate marriage, and thinking about still being a waiting for everything WTMer if I ever dated. But also recently started thinking about only waiting for PIV sex with a boyfriend/husband (but of course we would wait at least 6 months to a 1-year minimum before we did anything). But if I did that, then we wouldn't really be doing much anyway since there's not a lot of sexual stuff I'm open to. So it would mostly be him doing hand and mouth stuff on me, some pegging, and using toys. If it involves a peen and isn't PIV, then I don't want to do it ever, or rather not do it for some things. But then I have also fantasized about hooking up with people and them giving me hand/mouth stuff (either sex, but f more than m, and with f it might be more than just that) by either me looking for one or someone initiating one and then me going along with it. But in reality, it is very unlikely that this would happen. Highly unlikely that I would actively go out and look for a hookup offline/online, and unlikely that I would agree to one if someone asked if I wanted to. Too risky STD wise and such for me to seriously consider ever doing that. Though I couldn't say for certain that I wouldn't ever actually do stupid shit like that at least once. So in the 6 years since I've joined, my relationship and virginity status has stayed the same, but I'm unsure about my WTM status. Not sure if I want to be celibate for life, wait for everything besides kissing, or only wait for PIV. Most likely the first because I'm not attracted to anyone. And a have a super-specific and unrealistic type of guy I would date, and I wouldn't very far outside of that type, so the chance finding anyone I would remotely be open to dating are basically non-existent.
  20. Thought of this topic a while ago, but never made it. Even though the site is mostly a ghost town and is being taken down in less than a month, I decided I'd make it anyway. When you first joined this site, what was your relationship/virginity/WTM status? Were you single? Dating, engaged, or married to someone? Virgin, non-virgin? Were you waiting for everything or only some things? And how does your relationship/virginity/WTM status in 2020 compare to what it was when you first joined? If you were in a relationship, are you still with that person? If you were a virgin then, are you still one now? Are you still waiting, or are you not waiting, or only waiting for some things? Or have you even decided to be celibate for life? So how does your status when you first joined compare to now? This would be an even better topic if this site was still active, but even if only one person replies to it, then that's cool. I'll post mine in a bit.
  21. And so all good things must come to an end.....:(
  22. Well, I think this is a sad good-bye to this site. So many memories had by many. And thanks to Mike for allowing us all to meet and form friendships. Good news: I know how to build websites. Our new forum: The reason it has a lame URL and is not perfect is because it is free and I just whipped this up. I'm still learning how it all works as well. Any administrators on this site will be granted the same there. This is not my site per se but more of a structure I created for all of us. If we can raise the money, we can give it a better URL. If we decide we don't like the new site, I can easily delete it with one click of a button. No problem. It admittedly has some pros and cons. Cheers!
  23. Widowed: Yes, I would. Divorced: I am Catholic so I would have to say no here due to the fact that the spouse would still be alive. However, there is one exception for me: if the marriage was annulled. I have come to the realization that divorce does happen in a marriage: a spouse may be divorced due the husband physically abusing her, for example. I remember meeting a couple in a church that I used to go to were the husband recently married and he was previously divorced. He received an annulment through the church and now him and his new wife are together and they appear happy. He said that there is a lot of negative stigma surrounding divorced people and those going through the annulment process. His story made me think of the value a divorced person would bring to a relationship just because he or she is a person who is worthy of love. Single parent: I mulled over my thoughts about this situation for many years. Ideally, I want to marry someone who doesn’t have children and hopefully we would raise children of our own. If I met a woman, who had a child from a previous relationship, I would want to know her motive for dating me: is she dating me so that I can take care of her child (such as dump her child on me so she can go party or something) or is she dating me because she wants to get to know me and be in a relationship with me. The same sentiment would apply if I was dating a person without children: what is her motive. If I met a wonderful woman who had children, I think that I would be open to dating her. I know a couple of single moms and they turned out to be good people. The circumstances of the previous relationship were not ideal: guy leaves her due to not having the balls to be there for his child. He wasn’t a parent. My concerns would be whether the child would like me and eventually accept me as a male figure in his or her life. When I think of dating and eventually marrying a single mom, it makes me think of St. Joseph the foster father of Jesus who married Mary and took Jesus into his home even though the child wasn’t his biologically.
  24. BigMat Thank for sharing your views. Wow! What I've learned from you is that love is free - it allows each spouse to be free to be imperfect yet also free to become the best version of themselves. As if love was the water to a plant - it helps it grow and become to its fullest potential. And with its new health, it can love in return bearing much fruit. That is such a beautiful kind of love. Your love for your bride is so deep, compassionate, rich, and pure that even if she is a virgin, she will be so blessed with that kind of love that it wasn't her virginity and perceived flawlessness but simply your gift of love. I had wondered if this existed. Love seems so conditional. Thank you for sharing that, however rare, it does exist. It exists in Christ, it exists in wonderful rare moments such as this. I agree that they should walk away if they cannot accept the potential relationship fully. Just because someone is a non-virgin doesn't mean she cannot love deeply. If a person cannot handle her as a whole person, then don't string her along and hurt her because you can't fully accept her for who she is. Let someone else love her better. The bible has so many beautiful things to say about love. It's the biggest message the bible has for us, yet so many people (even Christian) miss what love is and its forms (i.e. agape love). Reading the bible and learning about what love really is when I realized I was being abused, I realized that abuse cannot be love. It is the very absence of love. It was through that very experience of abuse and all the mistakes that went with it, that God showed me what love really is. Who God is and that he wouldn't want that for us even if it required divorce - which many religions damn. God set me free with his love - literally and figuratively. I am glad you saw my post before I edited it, almost like you were meant to share this message and I was meant to hear it - especially well timed as the site is about to go down. I edited the post because I had been revealing and vulnerable to my pain and experiences of my past. And on this site and in society, I have experienced such pain of being a non-virgin who has vowed to celibacy. Pain of nonacceptance. Pain of a broken heart. Pain that I cannot live up to the standards of others. But you have demonstrated to me what love is. Love with conditions is an attempt at love but not the fullest of love. The love of a man to a woman who has seen what it is for a male to be so absent of love for her that he hurts her and abuses her, is a love that is so deeply appreciated. It's like not appreciating safety until you are unsafe. Not appreciating sunlight until you have experienced endless rain. Not appreciating freedom until you have experienced imprisonment. My love, for example, is so loyal, deep, and infinite. I hope that one day, God will bless me with someone who is capable of reciprocating. What a blessing it is to read your post before this site goes down. I have never connected with 1 Corinthians 13 before as much as I have with your post. 1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Corinthians 13: 1If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;a but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. 4Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 8Prophecy and speaking in unknown languagesb and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 9Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! 10But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless. 11When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.c All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. 13Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.
  25. Taking the site down March 1 2020 :(

    Hey everybody, I would also like to maintain friendships. Feel free to send me a PM and we can exchange contact information such as social media info.
  26. To all, I would love to maintain friendships. Just send me a message and we will exchange social media info, etc.
  27. I think I have stated as much on here before that, into my early thirties, I was adamant about only marrying a virgin. God began working with me around that time about this issue and completely changed my views on it. Christ sets the example for what a husband is. Being that God is flawless and holy, by his very nature he requires a bride that is also flawless and holy. We as his bride, do not happen to be either of these things. We are very flawed, very imperfect. Does Christ reject his bride because she doesn't happen to fit the parameters that his holy nature requires? No he does not. If he did, he wouldn't be a husband and would be no more worthy of us than we are of him. Instead, He loves us so powerfully, so passionately that he takes the burden of imperfection from our shoulders and transfers it to his own so that we might meet the requirements of being the bride to a perfect being. He carries that burden for us so that we can be his perfect flawless bride. That is what a husband does. It is what any man who would be a husband must do. He must love a woman to the extent that he carries the burdens of her past and present, freeing her from them within the bounds of their relationship. As a result, she becomes free to be the wife he needs and desires, she becomes free to pursue her potential as such. The love of a husband is such that, no matter her past, the woman he married will always be his virgin. She will always be seen, loved, and cherished as his and his alone. As a result, it is not her past actions that define her in the eyes of her husband but, it is instead his love for her, who she is as a person, and who she continues to become. If a marriage can't be started from a blank slate then, it is likely to fail or be a source of misery for both parties involved. The key to this is love. The issue isn't whether or not a non-virgin single mother is worthy of a virgin guy. The issue is, is the guy's love great enough to make him worthy of her. Is his love for her great enough and powerful enough to make her history and her present circumstances a non-issue? If not, then his love for her is not husbandly love and he his unworthy of her. The issue isn't perfect or imperfect, virgin or non-virgin; the issue is love -- husbandly love. I've seen it on this forum time after time, endlessly on other forums, and in countless other places. Guys will find their "dream woman" -- a woman who they think is their perfect match. The only problem is that they can't get over the woman's past -- sexual and/or otherwise. I have the answer for these guys. WALK AWAY. If you are having problems with this, it means that however great your love for this woman might be, it is something a great deal less than husbandly love and, it therefore makes you unworthy of this woman and her love for you. A husband's love for and, his enamorment of his bride/wife is so powerful, so white hot, so pure that he will gladly live with and carry in his own heart whatever less than desirable things her past might hold, just so he can enjoy, cherish, and be joined as one with the beauty that presently resides within her. If the "King of Kings and Lord of Lords" doesn't insist that any of us have a past history of absolute perfection then, we certainly are not entitled to it. For me to believe that I am so entitled or, for me to insist on virginity would be for me to consider myself higher than God. I am not. I don't come anywhere close. As far as children are concerned, if a woman loves her children then they are a part of her heart. To love her wholely, as a husband should, any man that would be married to her, must also love her children. If he chooses not to then, he chooses not to love the woman in her entirety. @Queen I read your post before you edited it. Here is something for you and any woman who might be in the situation you were in. The only reason for divorce, mentioned in the Bible, is infidelity. That stated, does the wisdom, guidance, and instruction of an infinite being end at the last few pages of Revelation? Can all the guidance that this never-ending being have to share with every single person that, ever has or ever will exist, be contained within the pages of a millennia old text that fits in the palm of your hand? I'd say that what God has to share with us, is as He is; it is without end -- as are the individual and varying situations and circumstances of we humans. For a being such as God, the Bible is but one conversation -- a single exhaled breath -- and indeed, it is but one of countless conversations each of us should have with Him. The Bible is only the very tip of the iceberg. It is up to each of us to endlessly explore and go deeper into His being -- to ever learn more of his guidance, his wisdom, his love, and his beauty. Everyone can agree that a husband and a wife are both required components for a marriage to exist. If there is only a wife or only a husband then there is no marriage. Over the past twenty one years, God has taught and demonstrated to me, through the relationship that I share with him, what a husband is and what a husband's love is. A male who abuses the woman he married (physically, emotionally, mentally -- whatever the case), has chosen to not be a husband and in doing so, has made whatever marriage there might have been, nonexistent -- that is, if it was ever truly a marriage to begin with. If there is no husband, there is no marriage and therefore, there is no wrongdoing on the part of a woman who leaves such a situation. At most what you have is someone who is walking away from a dangerous, very damaging, potentially life threatening living arrangement and, NOTHING MORE than that. She can't possibly divorce a husband if there isn't one to divorce. The animal beating and berating her has chosen to be something far less than a husband -- in fact, something far less than a man. A man is something a male chooses to be by his actions. The same is true for a husband; it is something a man chooses to be by his actions. "Man," "husband," "father" -- a guy is not any of these just because he says so or, because he is labeled so. He can only be these things if he makes a solid effort and works hard to be such an individual. Just because a guy stands at the alter or in front of a judge and promises to be a husband doesn't mean he is one. He only becomes a husband when he chooses by way of his ongoing behavior and daily deeds to be one. I will state it again -- a woman who is with a male who chooses by way of his actions to not be a husband cannot possibly be terminating a marriage if she leaves, because a marriage cannot possibly exist without a husband. A woman in such a situation who files for "divorce" is merely satisfying the law and protecting herself legally. She is simply putting an end to the brutal handiwork that the guy wasn't man enough to put a stop to himself. So that she might move on and actually have a life, she is closing out and walking away from something that the guy already ended. Specifically, she is walking away from the male's unfulfilled oath and broken promise of a lifelong marital union. Here is something to consider. I know a guy, who is in his fifties and has been single his entire life. Most people wouldn't think much of him but, he is far more a man than any of these rabid animals who abuse the women they are with. He decided during his early adulthood to remain single for the rest of his life. The reason being, he despises men who beat women. He realized that his temper was volatile enough that, he had the very real potential to become the thing he hated so, he chose to make sure that never happened by spending his life as a single bachelor. If a guy is mentally unwell to the extent that he cannot keep his anger from causing him to abuse and hurt others -- particularly a wife or children -- he has the option to not become a subhuman animal; he just has to be man enough to choose it.
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